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Love's Shadow

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<h2 id="id01203" style="margin-top: 4em">CHAPTER XIX</h2> Eugenia Meanwhile Cecil had received a note from his uncle, asking him to go and see him. He decided he would do so on his way to see Hyacinth. For many days now he had not seen Mrs Raymond. She had answered no letters, and been always 'out' to him. As he walked along, he wondered what had become of her, and tried to think he didn't care. 'I have news for you, Cecil,' said his uncle; 'but, first, you really have made up your mind, haven't you, to try your luck with Hyacinth? What a pretty perfumed name it is—just like her.' 'I suppose I shall try.' 'Good. I'm delighted to hear it. Then in a very short time I shall hear that you're as happy as I am.' 'As you, Uncle Ted?' 'Look at this house, Cecil. It's full of Things; it wants looking after. I want looking after…. I am sure you wouldn't mind—wouldn't be vexed to hear I was going to marry again?' 'Rather not. I'm glad. It must be awfully lonely here sometimes. But I am surprised, I must say. Everybody looks upon you as a confirmed widower, Uncle Ted.' 'Well, so I have been a confirmed widower—for eighteen years. I think that's long enough.' Cecil waited respectfully. Then his uncle said abruptly— 'I saw Mrs Raymond yesterday.' Cecil started and blushed. 'Did you? Where did you meet her?' 'I didn't meet her. I went to see her. I spent two hours with her.' Cecil stared in silent amazement. 'It was my fourth visit,' said Lord Selsey. 'You spent all that time talking over my affairs?' His uncle gave a slight smile. 'Indeed not, Cecil. After the first few minutes of the first visit, frankly, we said very little about you.' 'But I don't understand.' 'I've been all this time trying to persuade her to something—against her judgement. I've been trying to persuade her to marry.' 'To marry me?' 'No. To marry me. And I've succeeded.' 'I congratulate you,' said Cecil, in a cold, hard voice. 'You're angry, my boy. It's very natural; but let me explain to you how it happened.' He paused, and then went on: 'Of course, for years I've wished for the right woman here. But I never saw her. I thought I never should. That day she came here—the musical party—the moment I looked at her, I saw that she was meant for me, not for you.' 'I call it a beastly shame,' said Cecil. 'It isn't. It's absolutely right. You know perfectly well she never would have cared for you in the way you wished.' Cecil could not deny that, but he said sarcastically— 'So you fell in love with her at first sight?' 'Oh no, I didn't. I'm not in love with her now. But I think she's beautiful. I mean she has a beautiful soul—she has atmosphere, she has something that I need. I could live in the same house with her in perfect harmony for ever. I could teach her to understand my Things. She does already by instinct.' 'You're marrying her as a kind of custodian for your collection?' 'A great deal, of course. And, then, I couldn't marry a young girl. It would be ridiculous. A society woman—a regular beauty—would jar on me and irritate me. She would think herself more important than my pictures.' Cecil could hardly help a smile, angry as he was. 'And Mrs Raymond,' went on Lord Selsey, 'is delightfully unworldly—and yet sensible. Of course, she's not a bit in love with me either. But she likes me awfully, and I persuaded her. It was all done by argument.' 'I could never persuade her,' said Cecil bitterly. 'Of course not. She has such a sense of form. She saw the incongruity…. I needn't ask you to forgive me, old boy. I know, of course, there's nothing to forgive. You've got over your fancy, or you will very soon. I haven't injured you in any sort of way, and I didn't take her away from you. She's ten years older than you, and nine years younger than me…. You're still my heir just the same. This will make no difference, and you'll soon be reconciled. I'm sure of that.' 'Of course, I'm not such a brute as not to be glad, for her,' said Cecil slowly, after a slight struggle. 'It seems a bit rough, though, at first.' He held out his hand. 'Thanks, dear old boy. You see I'm right. You can't be angry with me…. You see it's a peculiar case. It won't be like an ordinary marriage, a young married couple and so on, nor a mariage de convenance, either, in the ordinary sense. Here are two lonely people intending to live solitary lives. Suddenly, you—most kindly, I must say—introduce us. I, with my great experience and my instinctive flair, see immediately that this is the right woman in the right place. I bother her until she consents—and there you are.' 'I hope you'll be happy.' They shook hands in silence, and Cecil got into a hansom and drove straight to Mrs Raymond's. He was furious. While Hyacinth, whose very existence he had forgotten in the shock and anger of this news, was feeling, with the agonising clairvoyance of love, that Cecil was with Mrs Raymond, she was perfectly right. Today Eugenia was at home, and did not refuse to see him. 'I see you know,' she remarked coolly as he came in. Cecil had controlled his emotion when with his uncle, but seeing Mrs Raymond again in the dismal little old drawing-room dealt him a terrible blow. He saw, only too vividly, the picture of his suave, exquisite uncle, standing out against this muddled, confused background, in the midst of decoration which was one long disaster and furniture that was one desperate failure. To think that the owner of Selsey House had spent hours here! The thought was jealous agony. 'I must congratulate you,' he said coldly. 'Thank you, Cecil.' 'I thought you were never going to marry again?' he said sarcastically. 'I never do, as a rule. But this is an exception. And it isn't going to be like an ordinary marriage. We shall each have complete freedom. He persuaded me—to look after that lovely house. It will give me an object in life. And besides, Cecil,' she was laughing, 'think—to be your aunt! The privilege!' He seized her by the shoulders. She laughed still more, and put one hand on the bell, at which he released her. He walked away so violently that he knocked down a screen. 'There, that will do,' said Eugenia, picking it up. 'You've made your little scene, and shown your little temper, and that's enough. Sit down,' she commanded. Cecil sat down, feeling a complete fool. 'Look here. I daresay that it's a little annoying for you, at first, especially as you introduced us; but really, when you come to think it over, there's no law of etiquette, or any other that I know of, which compels me to refuse the uncle of a young man who has done me the honour to like me. Oh, Cecil, don't be absurd!' 'Are you in love with him?' 'No. But I think he will be very pleasant—not worrying and fidgeting—so calm and kind. I refused at first, Cecil. People always want what they can't get, and if it's any satisfaction to you, I don't mind confessing that I have had, for years, a perfect mania for somebody else. A hopeless case for at least three reasons: he's married, he's in love with someone else (not even counting his wife, who counts a great deal) and, if he hadn't either of these preoccupations, he would never look at me. So I've given it up. I've made up my mind to forget it. Your uncle will help me, and give me something else to think about.' 'Who was the man?' Cecil asked. It was some slight satisfaction to know that she also had had a wasted affection. 'Why should I tell you? I shall not tell you. Well, I will tell you. It's Sir Charles Cannon.' 'Old Cannon?' 'Yes; it was a sort of mad hero-worship. I never could account for it. I always thought him the most wonderful person. He hasn't the faintest idea of it, and never will; and now don't let's speak of him again.' The name reminded Cecil of Hyacinth. He started violently, remembering his appointment. What must she have thought of him? 'Good-bye, Eugenia,' he said. As he held her hand he felt, in a sense, as if it was in some strange way, after all, a sort of triumph for him, a score that Lord Selsey had appreciated her so wonderfully. As he left the house it struck seven. What was he to do about Hyacinth? That evening Hyacinth received a large basket of flowers and a letter, in which Cecil threw himself on her mercy, humbling himself to the earth, and imploring her to let him come and explain and apologise next day. He entreated her to be kind enough to let him off waiting till a conventional hour, and to allow him to call in the morning. He received a kind, forgiving answer, and then spent the most miserable night of his life. <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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