<p>DECEMBER 20.</p>
<p>I am grateful to your love, Wilhelm, for having repeated your advice so
seasonably. Yes, you are right: it is undoubtedly better that I should
depart. But I do not entirely approve your scheme of returning at once to
your neighbourhood; at least, I should like to make a little excursion on
the way, particularly as we may now expect a continued frost, and
consequently good roads. I am much pleased with your intention of coming
to fetch me; only delay your journey for a fortnight, and wait for another
letter from me. One should gather nothing before it is ripe, and a
fortnight sooner or later makes a great difference. Entreat my mother to
pray for her son, and tell her I beg her pardon for all the unhappiness I
have occasioned her. It has ever been my fate to give pain to those whose
happiness I should have promoted. Adieu, my dearest friend. May every
blessing of Heaven attend you! Farewell.</p>
<p>We find it difficult to express the emotions with which Charlotte's soul
was agitated during the whole of this time, whether in relation to her
husband or to her unfortunate friend; although we are enabled, by our
knowledge of her character, to understand their nature.</p>
<p>It is certain that she had formed a determination, by every means in her
power to keep Werther at a distance; and, if she hesitated in her
decision, it was from a sincere feeling of friendly pity, knowing how much
it would cost him, indeed, that he would find it almost impossible to
comply with her wishes. But various causes now urged her to be firm. Her
husband preserved a strict silence about the whole matter; and she never
made it a subject of conversation, feeling bound to prove to him by her
conduct that her sentiments agreed with his.</p>
<p>The same day, which was the Sunday before Christmas, after Werther had
written the last-mentioned letter to his friend, he came in the evening to
Charlotte's house, and found her alone. She was busy preparing some little
gifts for her brothers and sisters, which were to be distributed to them
on Christmas Day. He began talking of the delight of the children, and of
that age when the sudden appearance of the Christmas-tree, decorated with
fruit and sweetmeats, and lighted up with wax candles, causes such
transports of joy. "You shall have a gift too, if you behave well," said
Charlotte, hiding her embarrassment under sweet smile. "And what do you
call behaving well? What should I do, what can I do, my dear Charlotte?"
said he. "Thursday night," she answered, "is Christmas Eve. The children
are all to be here, and my father too: there is a present for each; do you
come likewise, but do not come before that time." Werther started. "I
desire you will not: it must be so," she continued. "I ask it of you as a
favour, for my own peace and tranquillity. We cannot go on in this manner
any longer." He turned away his face walked hastily up and down the room,
muttering indistinctly, "We cannot go on in this manner any longer!"
Charlotte, seeing the violent agitation into which these words had thrown
him, endeavoured to divert his thoughts by different questions, but in
vain. "No, Charlotte!" he exclaimed; "I will never see you any more!" "And
why so?" she answered. "We may—we must see each other again; only
let it be with more discretion. Oh! why were you born with that excessive,
that ungovernable passion for everything that is dear to you?" Then,
taking his hand, she said, "I entreat of you to be more calm: your
talents, your understanding, your genius, will furnish you with a thousand
resources. Be a man, and conquer an unhappy attachment toward a creature
who can do nothing but pity you." He bit his lips, and looked at her with
a gloomy countenance. She continued to hold his hand. "Grant me but a
moment's patience, Werther," she said. "Do you not see that you are
deceiving yourself, that you are seeking your own destruction? Why must
you love me, me only, who belong to another? I fear, I much fear, that it
is only the impossibility of possessing me which makes your desire for me
so strong." He drew back his hand, whilst he surveyed her with a wild and
angry look. "'Tis well!" he exclaimed, "'tis very well! Did not Albert
furnish you with this reflection? It is profound, a very profound remark."
"A reflection that any one might easily make," she answered; "and is there
not a woman in the whole world who is at liberty, and has the power to
make you happy? Conquer yourself: look for such a being, and believe me
when I say that you will certainly find her. I have long felt for you, and
for us all: you have confined yourself too long within the limits of too
narrow a circle. Conquer yourself; make an effort: a short journey will be
of service to you. Seek and find an object worthy of your love; then
return hither, and let us enjoy together all the happiness of the most
perfect friendship."</p>
<p>"This speech," replied Werther with a cold smile, "this speech should be
printed, for the benefit of all teachers. My dear Charlotte, allow me but
a short time longer, and all will be well." "But however, Werther," she
added, "do not come again before Christmas." He was about to make some
answer, when Albert came in. They saluted each other coldly, and with
mutual embarrassment paced up and down the room. Werther made some common
remarks; Albert did the same, and their conversation soon dropped. Albert
asked his wife about some household matters; and, finding that his
commissions were not executed, he used some expressions which, to
Werther's ear, savoured of extreme harshness. He wished to go, but had not
power to move; and in this situation he remained till eight o'clock, his
uneasiness and discontent continually increasing. At length the cloth was
laid for supper, and he took up his hat and stick. Albert invited him to
remain; but Werther, fancying that he was merely paying a formal
compliment, thanked him coldly, and left the house.</p>
<p>Werther returned home, took the candle from his servant, and retired to
his room alone. He talked for some time with great earnestness to himself,
wept aloud, walked in a state of great excitement through his chamber;
till at length, without undressing, he threw himself on the bed, where he
was found by his servant at eleven o'clock, when the latter ventured to
enter the room, and take off his boots. Werther did not prevent him, but
forbade him to come in the morning till he should ring.</p>
<p>On Monday morning, the 21st of December, he wrote to Charlotte the
following letter, which was found, sealed, on his bureau after his death,
and was given to her. I shall insert it in fragments; as it appears, from
several circumstances, to have been written in that manner.</p>
<p>"It is all over, Charlotte: I am resolved to die! I make this declaration
deliberately and coolly, without any romantic passion, on this morning of
the day when I am to see you for the last time. At the moment you read
these lines, O best of women, the cold grave will hold the inanimate
remains of that restless and unhappy being who, in the last moments of his
existence, knew no pleasure so great as that of conversing with you! I
have passed a dreadful night or rather, let me say, a propitious one; for
it has given me resolution, it has fixed my purpose. I am resolved to die.
When I tore myself from you yesterday, my senses were in tumult and
disorder; my heart was oppressed, hope and pleasure had fled from me for
ever, and a petrifying cold had seized my wretched being. I could scarcely
reach my room. I threw myself on my knees; and Heaven, for the last time,
granted me the consolation of shedding tears. A thousand ideas, a thousand
schemes, arose within my soul; till at length one last, fixed, final
thought took possession of my heart. It was to die. I lay down to rest;
and in the morning, in the quiet hour of awakening, the same determination
was upon me. To die! It is not despair: it is conviction that I have
filled up the measure of my sufferings, that I have reached my appointed
term, and must sacrifice myself for thee. Yes, Charlotte, why should I not
avow it? One of us three must die: it shall be Werther. O beloved
Charlotte! this heart, excited by rage and fury, has often conceived the
horrid idea of murdering your husband—you—myself! The lot is
cast at length. And in the bright, quiet evenings of summer, when you
sometimes wander toward the mountains, let your thoughts then turn to me:
recollect how often you have watched me coming to meet you from the
valley; then bend your eyes upon the churchyard which contains my grave,
and, by the light of the setting sun, mark how the evening breeze waves
the tall grass which grows above my tomb. I was calm when I began this
letter, but the recollection of these scenes makes me weep like a child."</p>
<p>About ten in the morning, Werther called his servant, and, whilst he was
dressing, told him that in a few days he intended to set out upon a
journey, and bade him therefore lay his clothes in order, and prepare them
for packing up, call in all his accounts, fetch home the books he had
lent, and give two months' pay to the poor dependants who were accustomed
to receive from him a weekly allowance.</p>
<p>He breakfasted in his room, and then mounted his horse, and went to visit
the steward, who, however, was not at home. He walked pensively in the
garden, and seemed anxious to renew all the ideas that were most painful
to him.</p>
<p>The children did not suffer him to remain alone long. They followed him,
skipping and dancing before him, and told him, that after to-morrow and
tomorrow and one day more, they were to receive their Christmas gift from
Charlotte; and they then recounted all the wonders of which they had
formed ideas in their child imaginations. "Tomorrow and tomorrow," said
he, "and one day more!" And he kissed them tenderly. He was going; but the
younger boy stopped him, to whisper something in his ear. He told him that
his elder brothers had written splendid New-Year's wishes so large! one
for papa, and another for Albert and Charlotte, and one for Werther; and
they were to be presented early in the morning, on New Year's Day. This
quite overcame him. He made each of the children a present, mounted his
horse, left his compliments for papa and mamma, and, with tears in his
eyes, rode away from the place.</p>
<p>He returned home about five o'clock, ordered his servant to keep up his
fire, desired him to pack his books and linen at the bottom of the trunk,
and to place his coats at the top. He then appears to have made the
following addition to the letter addressed to Charlotte:</p>
<p>"You do not expect me. You think I will obey you, and not visit you again
till Christmas Eve. O Charlotte, today or never! On Christmas Eve you will
hold this paper in your hand; you will tremble, and moisten it with your
tears. I will—I must! Oh, how happy I feel to be determined!"</p>
<p>In the meantime, Charlotte was in a pitiable state of mind. After her last
conversation with Werther, she found how painful to herself it would be to
decline his visits, and knew how severely he would suffer from their
separation.</p>
<p>She had, in conversation with Albert, mentioned casually that Werther
would not return before Christmas Eve; and soon afterward Albert went on
horseback to see a person in the neighbourhood, with whom he had to
transact some business which would detain him all night.</p>
<p>Charlotte was sitting alone. None of her family were near, and she gave
herself up to the reflections that silently took possession of her mind.
She was for ever united to a husband whose love and fidelity she had
proved, to whom she was heartily devoted, and who seemed to be a special
gift from Heaven to ensure her happiness. On the other hand, Werther had
become dear to her. There was a cordial unanimity of sentiment between
them from the very first hour of their acquaintance, and their long
association and repeated interviews had made an indelible impression upon
her heart. She had been accustomed to communicate to him every thought and
feeling which interested her, and his absence threatened to open a void in
her existence which it might be impossible to fill. How heartily she
wished that she might change him into her brother,—that she could
induce him to marry one of her own friends, or could reestablish his
intimacy with Albert.</p>
<p>She passed all her intimate friends in review before her mind, but found
something objectionable in each, and could decide upon none to whom she
would consent to give him.</p>
<p>Amid all these considerations she felt deeply but indistinctly that her
own real but unexpressed wish was to retain him for herself, and her pure
and amiable heart felt from this thought a sense of oppression which
seemed to forbid a prospect of happiness. She was wretched: a dark cloud
obscured her mental vision.</p>
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