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Excuse Me! (Dramatic Reading)

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139 <h3 class="p6">CHAPTER XIX FOILED!</h3> It was late in the forenoon before the train came to the end of its iron furrow across that fertile space between two of the world's greatest rivers, which the Indians called "Iowa," nobody knows exactly why. In contrast with the palisades of the Mississippi, the Missouri twists like a great brown dragon wallowing in congenial mud. The water itself, as Bob Brudette said, is so muddy that the wind blowing across it raises a cloud of dust. A sonorous bridge led the way into Nebraska, and the train came to a halt at Omaha. Mallory and Marjorie got out to stretch their legs and their dog. If they had only known that the train was to stop there the quarter of an hour, and if they had only known some preacher there and had had him to the station, the ceremony could have been consummated then and there. The horizon was fairly saw-toothed with church spires. There were preachers, preachers everywhere, and not a dominie to do their deed. After they had strolled up and down the platform, 140 and up and down, and up and down till they were fain of their cramped quarters again, Marjorie suddenly dug her nails into Mallory's arm. "Honey! look!—look!" Honey looked, and there before their very eyes stood as clerical a looking person as ever announced a strawberry festival. Mallory stared and stared, till Marjorie said: "Don't you see? stupid! it's a preacher! a preacher!" "It looks like one," was as far as Mallory would commit himself, and he was turning away. He had about come to the belief that anything that looked like a parson was something else. But Marjorie whirled him round again, with a shrill whisper to listen. And he overheard in tones addicted to the pulpit: "Yes, deacon, I trust that the harvest will be plentiful at my new church. It grieves me to leave the dear brothers and sisters in the Lord in Omaha, but I felt called to wider pastures." And a lady who was evidently Mrs. Deacon spoke up: "We'll miss you terrible. We all say you are the best pastor our church ever had." Mallory prepared to spring on his prey and drag him to his lair, but Marjorie held him back. "He's taking our train, Lord bless his dear old soul." 141 And Mallory could have hugged him. But he kept close watch. To the rapture of the wedding-hungry twain, the preacher shook hands with such of his flock as had followed him to the station, picked up his valise and walked up to the porter, extending his ticket. But the porter said—and Mallory could have throttled him for saying it: "'Scuse me, posson, but that's yo' train ova yonda. You betta move right smaht, for it's gettin' ready to pull out." With a little shriek of dismay, the parson clutched his valise and set off at a run. Mallory dashed after him and Marjorie after Mallory. They shouted as they ran, but the conductor of the east-bound train sang out "All aboard!" and swung on. The parson made a sprint and caught the ultimate rail of the moving train. Mallory made a frantic leap at a flying coat-tail and missed. As he and Marjorie stood gazing reproachfully at the train which was giving a beautiful illustration of the laws of retreating perspective, they heard wild howls of "Hi! hi!" and "Hay! hay!" and turned to see their own train in motion, and the porter dancing a Zulu step alongside. <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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