<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER FIVE </h2>
<p>Willems turned a little from her and spoke lower.</p>
<p>"Look at that," he said, with an almost imperceptible movement of his head
towards the woman to whom he was presenting his shoulder. "Look at that!
Don't believe her! What has she been saying to you? What? I have been
asleep. Had to sleep at last. I've been waiting for you three days and
nights. I had to sleep some time. Hadn't I? I told her to remain awake and
watch for you, and call me at once. She did watch. You can't believe her.
You can't believe any woman. Who can tell what's inside their heads? No
one. You can know nothing. The only thing you can know is that it isn't
anything like what comes through their lips. They live by the side of you.
They seem to hate you, or they seem to love you; they caress or torment
you; they throw you over or stick to you closer than your skin for some
inscrutable and awful reason of their own—which you can never know!
Look at her—and look at me. At me!—her infernal work. What has
she been saying?"</p>
<p>His voice had sunk to a whisper. Lingard listened with great attention,
holding his chin in his hand, which grasped a great handful of his white
beard. His elbow was in the palm of his other hand, and his eyes were
still fixed on the ground. He murmured, without looking up—</p>
<p>"She begged me for your life—if you want to know—as if the
thing were worth giving or taking!"</p>
<p>"And for three days she begged me to take yours," said Willems quickly.
"For three days she wouldn't give me any peace. She was never still. She
planned ambushes. She has been looking for places all over here where I
could hide and drop you with a safe shot as you walked up. It's true. I
give you my word."</p>
<p>"Your word," muttered Lingard, contemptuously.</p>
<p>Willems took no notice.</p>
<p>"Ah! She is a ferocious creature," he went on. "You don't know . . . I
wanted to pass the time—to do something—to have something to
think about—to forget my troubles till you came back. And . . . look
at her . . . she took me as if I did not belong to myself. She did. I did
not know there was something in me she could get hold of. She, a savage.
I, a civilized European, and clever! She that knew no more than a wild
animal! Well, she found out something in me. She found it out, and I was
lost. I knew it. She tormented me. I was ready to do anything. I resisted—but
I was ready. I knew that too. That frightened me more than anything; more
than my own sufferings; and that was frightful enough, I assure you."</p>
<p>Lingard listened, fascinated and amazed like a child listening to a fairy
tale, and, when Willems stopped for breath, he shuffled his feet a little.</p>
<p>"What does he say?" cried out Aissa, suddenly.</p>
<p>The two men looked at her quickly, and then looked at one another.</p>
<p>Willems began again, speaking hurriedly—</p>
<p>"I tried to do something. Take her away from those people. I went to
Almayer; the biggest blind fool that you ever . . . Then Abdulla came—and
she went away. She took away with her something of me which I had to get
back. I had to do it. As far as you are concerned, the change here had to
happen sooner or later; you couldn't be master here for ever. It isn't
what I have done that torments me. It is the why. It's the madness that
drove me to it. It's that thing that came over me. That may come again,
some day."</p>
<p>"It will do no harm to anybody then, I promise you," said Lingard,
significantly.</p>
<p>Willems looked at him for a second with a blank stare, then went on—</p>
<p>"I fought against her. She goaded me to violence and to murder. Nobody
knows why. She pushed me to it persistently, desperately, all the time.
Fortunately Abdulla had sense. I don't know what I wouldn't have done. She
held me then. Held me like a nightmare that is terrible and sweet. By and
by it was another life. I woke up. I found myself beside an animal as full
of harm as a wild cat. You don't know through what I have passed. Her
father tried to kill me—and she very nearly killed him. I believe
she would have stuck at nothing. I don't know which was more terrible! She
would have stuck at nothing to defend her own. And when I think that it
was me—me—Willems . . . I hate her. To-morrow she may want my
life. How can I know what's in her? She may want to kill me next!"</p>
<p>He paused in great trepidation, then added in a scared tone—</p>
<p>"I don't want to die here."</p>
<p>"Don't you?" said Lingard, thoughtfully.</p>
<p>Willems turned towards Aissa and pointed at her with a bony forefinger.</p>
<p>"Look at her! Always there. Always near. Always watching, watching . . .
for something. Look at her eyes. Ain't they big? Don't they stare? You
wouldn't think she can shut them like human beings do. I don't believe she
ever does. I go to sleep, if I can, under their stare, and when I wake up
I see them fixed on me and moving no more than the eyes of a corpse. While
I am still they are still. By God—she can't move them till I stir,
and then they follow me like a pair of jailers. They watch me; when I stop
they seem to wait patient and glistening till I am off my guard—for
to do something. To do something horrible. Look at them! You can see
nothing in them. They are big, menacing—and empty. The eyes of a
savage; of a damned mongrel, half-Arab, half-Malay. They hurt me! I am
white! I swear to you I can't stand this! Take me away. I am white! All
white!"</p>
<p>He shouted towards the sombre heaven, proclaiming desperately under the
frown of thickening clouds the fact of his pure and superior descent. He
shouted, his head thrown up, his arms swinging about wildly; lean, ragged,
disfigured; a tall madman making a great disturbance about something
invisible; a being absurd, repulsive, pathetic, and droll. Lingard, who
was looking down as if absorbed in deep thought, gave him a quick glance
from under his eyebrows: Aissa stood with clasped hands. At the other end
of the courtyard the old woman, like a vague and decrepit apparition, rose
noiselessly to look, then sank down again with a stealthy movement and
crouched low over the small glow of the fire. Willems' voice filled the
enclosure, rising louder with every word, and then, suddenly, at its very
loudest, stopped short—like water stops running from an over-turned
vessel. As soon as it had ceased the thunder seemed to take up the burden
in a low growl coming from the inland hills. The noise approached in
confused mutterings which kept on increasing, swelling into a roar that
came nearer, rushed down the river, passed close in a tearing crash—and
instantly sounded faint, dying away in monotonous and dull repetitions
amongst the endless sinuosities of the lower reaches. Over the great
forests, over all the innumerable people of unstirring trees—over
all that living people immense, motionless, and mute—the silence,
that had rushed in on the track of the passing tumult, remained suspended
as deep and complete as if it had never been disturbed from the beginning
of remote ages. Then, through it, after a time, came to Lingard's ears the
voice of the running river: a voice low, discreet, and sad, like the
persistent and gentle voices that speak of the past in the silence of
dreams.</p>
<p>He felt a great emptiness in his heart. It seemed to him that there was
within his breast a great space without any light, where his thoughts
wandered forlornly, unable to escape, unable to rest, unable to die, to
vanish—and to relieve him from the fearful oppression of their
existence. Speech, action, anger, forgiveness, all appeared to him alike
useless and vain, appeared to him unsatisfactory, not worth the effort of
hand or brain that was needed to give them effect. He could not see why he
should not remain standing there, without ever doing anything, to the end
of time. He felt something, something like a heavy chain, that held him
there. This wouldn't do. He backed away a little from Willems and Aissa,
leaving them close together, then stopped and looked at both. The man and
the woman appeared to him much further than they really were. He had made
only about three steps backward, but he believed for a moment that another
step would take him out of earshot for ever. They appeared to him slightly
under life size, and with a great cleanness of outlines, like figures
carved with great precision of detail and highly finished by a skilful
hand. He pulled himself together. The strong consciousness of his own
personality came back to him. He had a notion of surveying them from a
great and inaccessible height.</p>
<p>He said slowly: "You have been possessed of a devil."</p>
<p>"Yes," answered Willems gloomily, and looking at Aissa. "Isn't it pretty?"</p>
<p>"I've heard this kind of talk before," said Lingard, in a scornful tone;
then paused, and went on steadily after a while: "I regret nothing. I
picked you up by the waterside, like a starving cat—by God. I regret
nothing; nothing that I have done. Abdulla—twenty others—no
doubt Hudig himself, were after me. That's business—for them. But
that you should . . . Money belongs to him who picks it up and is strong
enough to keep it—but this thing was different. It was part of my
life. . . . I am an old fool."</p>
<p>He was. The breath of his words, of the very words he spoke, fanned the
spark of divine folly in his breast, the spark that made him—the
hard-headed, heavy-handed adventurer—stand out from the crowd, from
the sordid, from the joyous, unscrupulous, and noisy crowd of men that
were so much like himself.</p>
<p>Willems said hurriedly: "It wasn't me. The evil was not in me, Captain
Lingard."</p>
<p>"And where else confound you! Where else?" interrupted Lingard, raising
his voice. "Did you ever see me cheat and lie and steal? Tell me that. Did
you? Hey? I wonder where in perdition you came from when I found you under
my feet. . . . No matter. You will do no more harm."</p>
<p>Willems moved nearer, gazing upon him anxiously. Lingard went on with
distinct deliberation—</p>
<p>"What did you expect when you asked me to see you? What? You know me. I am
Lingard. You lived with me. You've heard men speak. You knew what you had
done. Well! What did you expect?"</p>
<p>"How can I know?" groaned Willems, wringing his hands; "I was alone in
that infernal savage crowd. I was delivered into their hands. After the
thing was done, I felt so lost and weak that I would have called the devil
himself to my aid if it had been any good—if he hadn't put in all
his work already. In the whole world there was only one man that had ever
cared for me. Only one white man. You! Hate is better than being alone!
Death is better! I expected . . . anything. Something to expect. Something
to take me out of this. Out of her sight!"</p>
<p>He laughed. His laugh seemed to be torn out from him against his will,
seemed to be brought violently on the surface from under his bitterness,
his self-contempt, from under his despairing wonder at his own nature.</p>
<p>"When I think that when I first knew her it seemed to me that my whole
life wouldn't be enough to . . . And now when I look at her! She did it
all. I must have been mad. I was mad. Every time I look at her I remember
my madness. It frightens me. . . . And when I think that of all my life,
of all my past, of all my future, of my intelligence, of my work, there is
nothing left but she, the cause of my ruin, and you whom I have mortally
offended . . ."</p>
<p>He hid his face for a moment in his hands, and when he took them away he
had lost the appearance of comparative calm and gave way to a wild
distress.</p>
<p>"Captain Lingard . . . anything . . . a deserted island . . . anywhere . .
. I promise . . ."</p>
<p>"Shut up!" shouted Lingard, roughly.</p>
<p>He became dumb, suddenly, completely.</p>
<p>The wan light of the clouded morning retired slowly from the courtyard,
from the clearings, from the river, as if it had gone unwillingly to hide
in the enigmatical solitudes of the gloomy and silent forests. The clouds
over their heads thickened into a low vault of uniform blackness. The air
was still and inexpressibly oppressive. Lingard unbuttoned his jacket,
flung it wide open and, inclining his body sideways a little, wiped his
forehead with his hand, which he jerked sharply afterwards. Then he looked
at Willems and said—</p>
<p>"No promise of yours is any good to me. I am going to take your conduct
into my own hands. Pay attention to what I am going to say. You are my
prisoner."</p>
<p>Willems' head moved imperceptibly; then he became rigid and still. He
seemed not to breathe.</p>
<p>"You shall stay here," continued Lingard, with sombre deliberation. "You
are not fit to go amongst people. Who could suspect, who could guess, who
could imagine what's in you? I couldn't! You are my mistake. I shall hide
you here. If I let you out you would go amongst unsuspecting men, and lie,
and steal, and cheat for a little money or for some woman. I don't care
about shooting you. It would be the safest way though. But I won't. Do not
expect me to forgive you. To forgive one must have been angry and become
contemptuous, and there is nothing in me now—no anger, no contempt,
no disappointment. To me you are not Willems, the man I befriended and
helped through thick and thin, and thought much of . . . You are not a
human being that may be destroyed or forgiven. You are a bitter thought, a
something without a body and that must be hidden . . . You are my shame."</p>
<p>He ceased and looked slowly round. How dark it was! It seemed to him that
the light was dying prematurely out of the world and that the air was
already dead.</p>
<p>"Of course," he went on, "I shall see to it that you don't starve."</p>
<p>"You don't mean to say that I must live here, Captain Lingard?" said
Willems, in a kind of mechanical voice without any inflections.</p>
<p>"Did you ever hear me say something I did not mean?" asked Lingard. "You
said you didn't want to die here—well, you must live . . . Unless
you change your mind," he added, as if in involuntary afterthought.</p>
<p>He looked at Willems narrowly, then shook his head.</p>
<p>"You are alone," he went on. "Nothing can help you. Nobody will. You are
neither white nor brown. You have no colour as you have no heart. Your
accomplices have abandoned you to me because I am still somebody to be
reckoned with. You are alone but for that woman there. You say you did
this for her. Well, you have her."</p>
<p>Willems mumbled something, and then suddenly caught his hair with both his
hands and remained standing so. Aissa, who had been looking at him, turned
to Lingard.</p>
<p>"What did you say, Rajah Laut?" she cried.</p>
<p>There was a slight stir amongst the filmy threads of her disordered hair,
the bushes by the river sides trembled, the big tree nodded precipitately
over them with an abrupt rustle, as if waking with a start from a troubled
sleep—and the breath of hot breeze passed, light, rapid, and
scorching, under the clouds that whirled round, unbroken but undulating,
like a restless phantom of a sombre sea.</p>
<p>Lingard looked at her pityingly before he said—</p>
<p>"I have told him that he must live here all his life . . . and with you."</p>
<p>The sun seemed to have gone out at last like a flickering light away up
beyond the clouds, and in the stifling gloom of the courtyard the three
figures stood colourless and shadowy, as if surrounded by a black and
superheated mist. Aissa looked at Willems, who remained still, as though
he had been changed into stone in the very act of tearing his hair. Then
she turned her head towards Lingard and shouted—</p>
<p>"You lie! You lie! . . . White man. Like you all do. You . . . whom
Abdulla made small. You lie!"</p>
<p>Her words rang out shrill and venomous with her secret scorn, with her
overpowering desire to wound regardless of consequences; in her woman's
reckless desire to cause suffering at any cost, to cause it by the sound
of her own voice—by her own voice, that would carry the poison of
her thought into the hated heart.</p>
<p>Willems let his hands fall, and began to mumble again. Lingard turned his
ear towards him instinctively, caught something that sounded like "Very
well"—then some more mumbling—then a sigh.</p>
<p>"As far as the rest of the world is concerned," said Lingard, after
waiting for awhile in an attentive attitude, "your life is finished.
Nobody will be able to throw any of your villainies in my teeth; nobody
will be able to point at you and say, 'Here goes a scoundrel of Lingard's
up-bringing.' You are buried here."</p>
<p>"And you think that I will stay . . . that I will submit?" exclaimed
Willems, as if he had suddenly recovered the power of speech.</p>
<p>"You needn't stay here—on this spot," said Lingard, drily. "There
are the forests—and here is the river. You may swim. Fifteen miles
up, or forty down. At one end you will meet Almayer, at the other the sea.
Take your choice."</p>
<p>He burst into a short, joyless laugh, then added with severe gravity—</p>
<p>"There is also another way."</p>
<p>"If you want to drive my soul into damnation by trying to drive me to
suicide you will not succeed," said Willems in wild excitement. "I will
live. I shall repent. I may escape. . . . Take that woman away—she
is sin."</p>
<p>A hooked dart of fire tore in two the darkness of the distant horizon and
lit up the gloom of the earth with a dazzling and ghastly flame. Then the
thunder was heard far away, like an incredibly enormous voice muttering
menaces.</p>
<p>Lingard said—</p>
<p>"I don't care what happens, but I may tell you that without that woman
your life is not worth much—not twopence. There is a fellow here who
. . . and Abdulla himself wouldn't stand on any ceremony. Think of that!
And then she won't go."</p>
<p>He began, even while he spoke, to walk slowly down towards the little
gate. He didn't look, but he felt as sure that Willems was following him
as if he had been leading him by a string. Directly he had passed through
the wicket-gate into the big courtyard he heard a voice, behind his back,
saying—</p>
<p>"I think she was right. I ought to have shot you. I couldn't have been
worse off."</p>
<p>"Time yet," answered Lingard, without stopping or looking back. "But, you
see, you can't. There is not even that in you."</p>
<p>"Don't provoke me, Captain Lingard," cried Willems.</p>
<p>Lingard turned round sharply. Willems and Aissa stopped. Another forked
flash of lightning split up the clouds overhead, and threw upon their
faces a sudden burst of light—a blaze violent, sinister and
fleeting; and in the same instant they were deafened by a near, single
crash of thunder, which was followed by a rushing noise, like a frightened
sigh of the startled earth.</p>
<p>"Provoke you!" said the old adventurer, as soon as he could make himself
heard. "Provoke you! Hey! What's there in you to provoke? What do I care?"</p>
<p>"It is easy to speak like that when you know that in the whole world—in
the whole world—I have no friend," said Willems.</p>
<p>"Whose fault?" said Lingard, sharply.</p>
<p>Their voices, after the deep and tremendous noise, sounded to them very
unsatisfactory—thin and frail, like the voices of pigmies—and
they became suddenly silent, as if on that account. From up the courtyard
Lingard's boatmen came down and passed them, keeping step in a single
file, their paddles on shoulder, and holding their heads straight with
their eyes fixed on the river. Ali, who was walking last, stopped before
Lingard, very stiff and upright. He said—</p>
<p>"That one-eyed Babalatchi is gone, with all his women. He took everything.
All the pots and boxes. Big. Heavy. Three boxes."</p>
<p>He grinned as if the thing had been amusing, then added with an appearance
of anxious concern, "Rain coming."</p>
<p>"We return," said Lingard. "Make ready."</p>
<p>"Aye, aye, sir!" ejaculated Ali with precision, and moved on. He had been
quartermaster with Lingard before making up his mind to stay in Sambir as
Almayer's head man. He strutted towards the landing-place thinking proudly
that he was not like those other ignorant boatmen, and knew how to answer
properly the very greatest of white captains.</p>
<p>"You have misunderstood me from the first, Captain Lingard," said Willems.</p>
<p>"Have I? It's all right, as long as there is no mistake about my meaning,"
answered Lingard, strolling slowly to the landing-place. Willems followed
him, and Aissa followed Willems.</p>
<p>Two hands were extended to help Lingard in embarking. He stepped
cautiously and heavily into the long and narrow canoe, and sat in the
canvas folding-chair that had been placed in the middle. He leaned back
and turned his head to the two figures that stood on the bank a little
above him. Aissa's eyes were fastened on his face in a visible impatience
to see him gone. Willems' look went straight above the canoe, straight at
the forest on the other side of the river.</p>
<p>"All right, Ali," said Lingard, in a low voice.</p>
<p>A slight stir animated the faces, and a faint murmur ran along the line of
paddlers. The foremost man pushed with the point of his paddle, canted the
fore end out of the dead water into the current; and the canoe fell
rapidly off before the rush of brown water, the stern rubbing gently
against the low bank.</p>
<p>"We shall meet again, Captain Lingard!" cried Willems, in an unsteady
voice.</p>
<p>"Never!" said Lingard, turning half round in his chair to look at Willems.
His fierce red eyes glittered remorselessly over the high back of his
seat.</p>
<p>"Must cross the river. Water less quick over there," said Ali.</p>
<p>He pushed in his turn now with all his strength, throwing his body
recklessly right out over the stern. Then he recovered himself just in
time into the squatting attitude of a monkey perched on a high shelf, and
shouted: "Dayong!"</p>
<p>The paddles struck the water together. The canoe darted forward and went
on steadily crossing the river with a sideways motion made up of its own
speed and the downward drift of the current.</p>
<p>Lingard watched the shore astern. The woman shook her hand at him, and
then squatted at the feet of the man who stood motionless. After a while
she got up and stood beside him, reaching up to his head—and Lingard
saw then that she had wetted some part of her covering and was trying to
wash the dried blood off the man's immovable face, which did not seem to
know anything about it. Lingard turned away and threw himself back in his
chair, stretching his legs out with a sigh of fatigue. His head fell
forward; and under his red face the white beard lay fan-like on his
breast, the ends of fine long hairs all astir in the faint draught made by
the rapid motion of the craft that carried him away from his prisoner—from
the only thing in his life he wished to hide.</p>
<p>In its course across the river the canoe came into the line of Willems'
sight and his eyes caught the image, followed it eagerly as it glided,
small but distinct, on the dark background of the forest. He could see
plainly the figure of the man sitting in the middle. All his life he had
felt that man behind his back, a reassuring presence ready with help, with
commendation, with advice; friendly in reproof, enthusiastic in
approbation; a man inspiring confidence by his strength, by his
fearlessness, by the very weakness of his simple heart. And now that man
was going away. He must call him back.</p>
<p>He shouted, and his words, which he wanted to throw across the river,
seemed to fall helplessly at his feet. Aissa put her hand on his arm in a
restraining attempt, but he shook it off. He wanted to call back his very
life that was going away from him. He shouted again—and this time he
did not even hear himself. No use. He would never return. And he stood in
sullen silence looking at the white figure over there, lying back in the
chair in the middle of the boat; a figure that struck him suddenly as very
terrible, heartless and astonishing, with its unnatural appearance of
running over the water in an attitude of languid repose.</p>
<p>For a time nothing on earth stirred, seemingly, but the canoe, which
glided up-stream with a motion so even and smooth that it did not convey
any sense of movement. Overhead, the massed clouds appeared solid and
steady as if held there in a powerful grip, but on their uneven surface
there was a continuous and trembling glimmer, a faint reflection of the
distant lightning from the thunderstorm that had broken already on the
coast and was working its way up the river with low and angry growls.
Willems looked on, as motionless as everything round him and above him.
Only his eyes seemed to live, as they followed the canoe on its course
that carried it away from him, steadily, unhesitatingly, finally, as if it
were going, not up the great river into the momentous excitement of
Sambir, but straight into the past, into the past crowded yet empty, like
an old cemetery full of neglected graves, where lie dead hopes that never
return.</p>
<p>From time to time he felt on his face the passing, warm touch of an
immense breath coming from beyond the forest, like the short panting of an
oppressed world. Then the heavy air round him was pierced by a sharp gust
of wind, bringing with it the fresh, damp feel of the falling rain; and
all the innumerable tree-tops of the forests swayed to the left and sprang
back again in a tumultuous balancing of nodding branches and shuddering
leaves. A light frown ran over the river, the clouds stirred slowly,
changing their aspect but not their place, as if they had turned
ponderously over; and when the sudden movement had died out in a quickened
tremor of the slenderest twigs, there was a short period of formidable
immobility above and below, during which the voice of the thunder was
heard, speaking in a sustained, emphatic and vibrating roll, with violent
louder bursts of crashing sound, like a wrathful and threatening discourse
of an angry god. For a moment it died out, and then another gust of wind
passed, driving before it a white mist which filled the space with a cloud
of waterdust that hid suddenly from Willems the canoe, the forests, the
river itself; that woke him up from his numbness in a forlorn shiver, that
made him look round despairingly to see nothing but the whirling drift of
rain spray before the freshening breeze, while through it the heavy big
drops fell about him with sonorous and rapid beats upon the dry earth. He
made a few hurried steps up the courtyard and was arrested by an immense
sheet of water that fell all at once on him, fell sudden and overwhelming
from the clouds, cutting his respiration, streaming over his head,
clinging to him, running down his body, off his arms, off his legs. He
stood gasping while the water beat him in a vertical downpour, drove on
him slanting in squalls, and he felt the drops striking him from above,
from everywhere; drops thick, pressed and dashing at him as if flung from
all sides by a mob of infuriated hands. From under his feet a great vapour
of broken water floated up, he felt the ground become soft—melt
under him—and saw the water spring out from the dry earth to meet
the water that fell from the sombre heaven. An insane dread took
possession of him, the dread of all that water around him, of the water
that ran down the courtyard towards him, of the water that pressed him on
every side, of the slanting water that drove across his face in wavering
sheets which gleamed pale red with the flicker of lightning streaming
through them, as if fire and water were falling together, monstrously
mixed, upon the stunned earth.</p>
<p>He wanted to run away, but when he moved it was to slide about painfully
and slowly upon that earth which had become mud so suddenly under his
feet. He fought his way up the courtyard like a man pushing through a
crowd, his head down, one shoulder forward, stopping often, and sometimes
carried back a pace or two in the rush of water which his heart was not
stout enough to face. Aissa followed him step by step, stopping when he
stopped, recoiling with him, moving forward with him in his toilsome way
up the slippery declivity of the courtyard, of that courtyard, from which
everything seemed to have been swept away by the first rush of the mighty
downpour. They could see nothing. The tree, the bushes, the house, and the
fences—all had disappeared in the thickness of the falling rain.
Their hair stuck, streaming, to their heads; their clothing clung to them,
beaten close to their bodies; water ran off them, off their heads over
their shoulders. They moved, patient, upright, slow and dark, in the gleam
clear or fiery of the falling drops, under the roll of unceasing thunder,
like two wandering ghosts of the drowned that, condemned to haunt the
water for ever, had come up from the river to look at the world under a
deluge.</p>
<p>On the left the tree seemed to step out to meet them, appearing vaguely,
high, motionless and patient; with a rustling plaint of its innumerable
leaves through which every drop of water tore its separate way with cruel
haste. And then, to the right, the house surged up in the mist, very
black, and clamorous with the quick patter of rain on its high-pitched
roof above the steady splash of the water running off the eaves. Down the
plankway leading to the door flowed a thin and pellucid stream, and when
Willems began his ascent it broke over his foot as if he were going up a
steep ravine in the bed of a rapid and shallow torrent. Behind his heels
two streaming smudges of mud stained for an instant the purity of the
rushing water, and then he splashed his way up with a spurt and stood on
the bamboo platform before the open door under the shelter of the
overhanging eaves—under shelter at last!</p>
<p>A low moan ending in a broken and plaintive mutter arrested Willems on the
threshold. He peered round in the half-light under the roof and saw the
old woman crouching close to the wall in a shapeless heap, and while he
looked he felt a touch of two arms on his shoulders. Aissa! He had
forgotten her. He turned, and she clasped him round the neck instantly,
pressing close to him as if afraid of violence or escape. He stiffened
himself in repulsion, in horror, in the mysterious revolt of his heart;
while she clung to him—clung to him as if he were a refuge from
misery, from storm, from weariness, from fear, from despair; and it was on
the part of that being an embrace terrible, enraged and mournful, in which
all her strength went out to make him captive, to hold him for ever.</p>
<p>He said nothing. He looked into her eyes while he struggled with her
fingers about the nape of his neck, and suddenly he tore her hands apart,
holding her arms up in a strong grip of her wrists, and bending his
swollen face close over hers, he said—</p>
<p>"It is all your doing. You . . ."</p>
<p>She did not understand him—not a word. He spoke in the language of
his people—of his people that know no mercy and no shame. And he was
angry. Alas! he was always angry now, and always speaking words that she
could not understand. She stood in silence, looking at him through her
patient eyes, while he shook her arms a little and then flung them down.</p>
<p>"Don't follow me!" he shouted. "I want to be alone—I mean to be left
alone!"</p>
<p>He went in, leaving the door open.</p>
<p>She did not move. What need to understand the words when they are spoken
in such a voice? In that voice which did not seem to be his voice—his
voice when he spoke by the brook, when he was never angry and always
smiling! Her eyes were fixed upon the dark doorway, but her hands strayed
mechanically upwards; she took up all her hair, and, inclining her head
slightly over her shoulder, wrung out the long black tresses, twisting
them persistently, while she stood, sad and absorbed, like one listening
to an inward voice—the voice of bitter, of unavailing regret. The
thunder had ceased, the wind had died out, and the rain fell perpendicular
and steady through a great pale clearness—the light of remote sun
coming victorious from amongst the dissolving blackness of the clouds. She
stood near the doorway. He was there—alone in the gloom of the
dwelling. He was there. He spoke not. What was in his mind now? What fear?
What desire? Not the desire of her as in the days when he used to smile .
. . How could she know? . . .</p>
<p>A sigh coming from the bottom of her heart, flew out into the world
through her parted lips. A sigh faint, profound, and broken; a sigh full
of pain and fear, like the sigh of those who are about to face the
unknown: to face it in loneliness, in doubt, and without hope. She let go
her hair, that fell scattered over her shoulders like a funeral veil, and
she sank down suddenly by the door. Her hands clasped her ankles; she
rested her head on her drawn-up knees, and remained still, very still,
under the streaming mourning of her hair. She was thinking of him; of the
days by the brook; she was thinking of all that had been their love—and
she sat in the abandoned posture of those who sit weeping by the dead, of
those who watch and mourn over a corpse.</p>
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