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<h2> CHAPTER XXV. </h2>
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<p>Hawkins went straight to the telegraph office and disburdened his
conscience. He said to himself, "She's not going to give this galvanized
cadaver up, that's plain. Wild horses can't pull her away from him. I've
done my share; it's for Sellers to take an innings, now." So he sent this
message to New York:</p>
<p>"Come back. Hire special train. She's going to marry the materializee."</p>
<p>Meantime a note came to Rossmore Towers to say that the Earl of Rossmore
had just arrived from England, and would do himself the pleasure of
calling in the evening. Sally said to herself, "It is a pity he didn't
stop in New York; but it's no matter; he can go up to-morrow and see my
father. He has come over here to tomahawk papa, very likely—or buy
out his claim. This thing would have excited me, a while back; but it has
only one interest for me now, and only one value. I can say to—to—Spine,
Spiny, Spinal—I don't like any form of that name!—I can say to
him to-morrow, 'Don't try to keep it up any more, or I shall have to tell
you whom I have been talking with last night, and then you will be
embarrassed.'"</p>
<p>Tracy couldn't know he was to be invited for the morrow, or he might have
waited. As it was, he was too miserable to wait any longer; for his last
hope—a letter—had failed him. It was fully due to-day; it had
not come. Had his father really flung him away? It looked so. It was not
like his father, but it surely looked so. His father was a rather tough
nut, in truth, but had never been so with his son—still, this
implacable silence had a calamitous look. Anyway, Tracy would go to the
Towers and —then what? He didn't know; his head was tired out with
thinking—he wouldn't think about what he must do or say—let it
all take care of itself. So that he saw Sally once more, he would be
satisfied, happen what might; he wouldn't care.</p>
<p>He hardly knew how he got to the Towers, or when. He knew and cared for
only one thing—he was alone with Sally. She was kind, she was
gentle, there was moisture in her eyes, and a yearning something in her
face and manner which she could not wholly hide—but she kept her
distance. They talked. Bye and bye she said—watching his downcast
countenance out of the corner of her eye—</p>
<p>"It's so lonesome—with papa and mamma gone. I try to read, but I
can't seem to get interested in any book. I try the newspapers, but they
do put such rubbish in them. You take up a paper and start to read
something you thinks interesting, and it goes on and on and on about how
somebody—well, Dr. Snodgrass, for instance—"</p>
<p>Not a movement from Tracy, not the quiver of a muscle. Sally was amazed
—what command of himself he must have! Being disconcerted, she
paused so long that Tracy presently looked up wearily and said:</p>
<p>"Well?"</p>
<p>"Oh, I thought you were not listening. Yes, it goes on and on about this
Doctor Snodgrass, till you are so tired, and then about his younger son—the
favorite son—Zylobalsamum Snodgrass—"</p>
<p>Not a sign from Tracy, whose head was drooping again. What supernatural
self-possession! Sally fixed her eye on him and began again, resolved to
blast him out of his serenity this time if she knew how to apply the
dynamite that is concealed in certain forms of words when those words are
properly loaded with unexpected meanings.</p>
<p>"And next it goes on and on and on about the eldest son—not the
favorite, this one—and how he is neglected in his poor barren
boyhood, and allowed to grow up unschooled, ignorant, coarse, vulgar, the
comrade of the community's scum, and become in his completed manhood a
rude, profane, dissipated ruffian—"</p>
<p>That head still drooped! Sally rose, moved softly and solemnly a step or
two, and stood before Tracy—his head came slowly up, his meek eyes
met her intense ones—then she finished with deep impressiveness—</p>
<p>"—named Spinal Meningitis Snodgrass!"</p>
<p>Tracy merely exhibited signs of increased fatigue. The girl was outraged
by this iron indifference and callousness, and cried out—</p>
<p>"What are you made of?"</p>
<p>"I? Why?"</p>
<p>"Haven't you any sensitiveness? Don't these things touch any poor remnant
of delicate feeling in you?"</p>
<p>"N—no," he said wonderingly, "they don't seem to. Why should they?"</p>
<p>"O, dear me, how can you look so innocent, and foolish, and good, and
empty, and gentle, and all that, right in the hearing of such things as
those! Look me in the eye—straight in the eye. There, now then,
answer me without a flinch. Isn't Doctor Snodgrass your father, and isn't
Zylobalsamum your brother," [here Hawkins was about to enter the room, but
changed his mind upon hearing these words, and elected for a walk down
town, and so glided swiftly away], "and isn't your name Spinal Meningitis,
and isn't your father a doctor and an idiot, like all the family for
generations, and doesn't he name all his children after poisons and
pestilences and abnormal anatomical eccentricities of the human body?
Answer me, some way or somehow—and quick. Why do you sit there
looking like an envelope without any address on it and see me going mad
before your face with suspense!"</p>
<p>"Oh, I wish I could do—do—I wish I could do something,
anything that would give you peace again and make you happy; but I know of
nothing—I know of no way. I have never heard of these awful people
before."</p>
<p>"What? Say it again!"</p>
<p>"I have never—never in my life till now."</p>
<p>"Oh, you do look so honest when you say that! It must be true—surely
you couldn't look that way, you wouldn't look that way if it were not true—would
you?"</p>
<p>"I couldn't and wouldn't. It is true. Oh, let us end this suffering—take
me back into your heart and confidence—"</p>
<p>"Wait—one more thing. Tell me you told that falsehood out of mere
vanity and are sorry for it; that you're not expecting to ever wear the
coronet of an earl—"</p>
<p>"Truly I am cured—cured this very day—I am not expecting it!"</p>
<p>"O, now you are mine! I've got you back in the beauty and glory of your
unsmirched poverty and your honorable obscurity, and nobody shall ever
take you from me again but the grave! And if—"</p>
<p>"De earl of Rossmore, fum Englan'!"</p>
<p>"My father!" The young man released the girl and hung his head.</p>
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<p>The old gentleman stood surveying the couple—the one with a strongly
complimentary right eye, the other with a mixed expression done with the
left. This is difficult, and not often resorted to. Presently his face
relaxed into a kind of constructive gentleness, and he said to his son:</p>
<p>"Don't you think you could embrace me, too?"</p>
<p>The young man did it with alacrity. "Then you are the son of an earl,
after all," said Sally, reproachfully.</p>
<p>"Yes, I—"</p>
<p>"Then I won't have you!"</p>
<p>"O, but you know—"</p>
<p>"No, I will not. You've told me another fib."</p>
<p>"She's right. Go away and leave us. I want to talk with her."</p>
<p>Berkeley was obliged to go. But he did not go far. He remained on the
premises. At midnight the conference between the old gentleman and the
young girl was still going blithely on, but it presently drew to a close,
and the former said:</p>
<p>"I came all the way over here to inspect you, my dear, with the general
idea of breaking off this match if there were two fools of you, but as
there's only one, you can have him if you'll take him."</p>
<p>"Indeed I will, then! May I kiss you?"</p>
<p>"You may. Thank you. Now you shall have that privilege whenever you are
good."</p>
<p>Meantime Hawkins had long ago returned and slipped up into the laboratory.
He was rather disconcerted to find his late invention, Snodgrass, there.
The news was told him that the English Rossmore was come.</p>
<p>—"And I'm his son, Viscount Berkeley, not Howard Tracy any more."</p>
<p>Hawkins was aghast. He said:</p>
<p>"Good gracious, then you're dead!"</p>
<p>"Dead?"</p>
<p>"Yes you are—we've got your ashes."</p>
<p>"Hang those ashes, I'm tired of them; I'll give them to my father."</p>
<p>Slowly and painfully the statesman worked the truth into his head that
this was really a flesh and blood young man, and not the insubstantial
resurrection he and Sellers had so long supposed him to be. Then he said
with feeling—</p>
<p>"I'm so glad; so glad on Sally's account, poor thing. We took you for a
departed materialized bank thief from Tahlequah. This will be a heavy blow
to Sellers." Then he explained the whole matter to Berkeley, who said:</p>
<p>"Well, the Claimant must manage to stand the blow, severe as it is. But
he'll get over the disappointment."</p>
<p>"Who—the colonel? He'll get over it the minute he invents a new
miracle to take its place. And he's already at it by this time. But look
here—what do you suppose became of the man you've been representing
all this time?"</p>
<p>"I don't know. I saved his clothes—it was all I could do. I am
afraid he lost his life."</p>
<p>"Well, you must have found twenty or thirty thousand dollars in those
clothes, in money or certificates of deposit."</p>
<p>"No, I found only five hundred and a trifle. I borrowed the trifle and
banked the five hundred."</p>
<p>"What'll we do about it?"</p>
<p>"Return it to the owner."</p>
<p>"It's easy said, but not easy to manage. Let's leave it alone till we get
Sellers's advice. And that reminds me. I've got to run and meet Sellers
and explain who you are not and who you are, or he'll come thundering in
here to stop his daughter from marrying a phantom. But—suppose your
father came over here to break off the match?"</p>
<p>"Well, isn't he down stairs getting acquainted with Sally? That's all
safe."</p>
<p>So Hawkins departed to meet and prepare the Sellerses.</p>
<p>Rossmore Towers saw great times and late hours during the succeeding week.
The two earls were such opposites in nature that they fraternized at once.
Sellers said privately that Rossmore was the most extraordinary character
he had ever met—a man just made out of the condensed milk of human
kindness, yet with the ability to totally hide the fact from any but the
most practised character-reader; a man whose whole being was sweetness,
patience and charity, yet with a cunning so profound, an ability so
marvelous in the acting of a double part, that many a person of
considerable intelligence might live with him for centuries and never
suspect the presence in him of these characteristics.</p>
<p>Finally there was a quiet wedding at the Towers, instead of a big one at
the British embassy, with the militia and the fire brigades and the
temperance organizations on hand in torchlight procession, as at first
proposed by one of the earls. The art-firm and Barrow were present at the
wedding, and the tinner and Puss had been invited, but the tinner was ill
and Puss was nursing him—for they were engaged.</p>
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<p>The Sellerses were to go to England with their new allies for a brief
visit, but when it was time to take the train from Washington, the colonel
was missing.</p>
<p>Hawkins was going as far as New York with the party, and said he would
explain the matter on the road.</p>
<p>The explanation was in a letter left by the colonel in Hawkins's hands. In
it he promised to join Mrs. Sellers later, in England, and then went on to
say:</p>
<p>The truth is, my dear Hawkins, a mighty idea has been born to me within
the hour, and I must not even stop to say goodbye to my dear ones. A man's
highest duty takes precedence of all minor ones, and must be attended to
with his best promptness and energy, at whatsoever cost to his affections
or his convenience. And first of all a man's duties is his duty to his own
honor—he must keep that spotless. Mine is threatened. When I was
feeling sure of my imminent future solidity, I forwarded to the Czar of
Russia—perhaps prematurely—an offer for the purchase of
Siberia, naming a vast sum. Since then an episode has warned me that the
method by which I was expecting to acquire this money—materialization
upon a scale of limitless magnitude—is marred by a taint of
temporary uncertainty. His imperial majesty may accept my offer at any
moment. If this should occur now, I should find myself painfully
embarrassed, in fact financially inadequate. I could not take Siberia.
This would become known, and my credit would suffer.</p>
<p>Recently my private hours have been dark indeed, but the sun shines again
now; I see my way; I shall be able to meet my obligation, and without
having to ask an extension of the stipulated time, I think. This grand new
idea of mine—the sublimest I have ever conceived, will save me
whole, I am sure. I am leaving for San Francisco this moment, to test it,
by the help of the great Lick telescope. Like all of my more notable
discoveries and inventions, it is based upon hard, practical scientific
laws; all other bases are unsound and hence untrustworthy. In brief, then,
I have conceived the stupendous idea of reorganizing the climates of the
earth according to the desire of the populations interested. That is to
say, I will furnish climates to order, for cash or negotiable paper,
taking the old climates in part payment, of course, at a fair discount,
where they are in condition to be repaired at small cost and let out for
hire to poor and remote communities not able to afford a good climate and
not caring for an expensive one for mere display. My studies have
convinced me that the regulation of climates and the breeding of new
varieties at will from the old stock is a feasible thing. Indeed I am
convinced that it has been done before; done in prehistoric times by now
forgotten and unrecorded civilizations. Everywhere I find hoary evidences
of artificial manipulation of climates in bygone times. Take the glacial
period. Was that produced by accident? Not at all; it was done for money.
I have a thousand proofs of it, and will some day reveal them.</p>
<p>I will confide to you an outline of my idea. It is to utilize the spots on
the sun—get control of them, you understand, and apply the
stupendous energies which they wield to beneficent purposes in the
reorganizing of our climates. At present they merely make trouble and do
harm in the evoking of cyclones and other kinds of electric storms; but
once under humane and intelligent control this will cease and they will
become a boon to man.</p>
<p>I have my plan all mapped out, whereby I hope and expect to acquire
complete and perfect control of the sun-spots, also details of the method
whereby I shall employ the same commercially; but I will not venture to go
into particulars before the patents shall have been issued. I shall hope
and expect to sell shop-rights to the minor countries at a reasonable
figure and supply a good business article of climate to the great empires
at special rates, together with fancy brands for coronations, battles and
other great and particular occasions. There are billions of money in this
enterprise, no expensive plant is required, and I shall begin to realize
in a few days—in a few weeks at furthest. I shall stand ready to pay
cash for Siberia the moment it is delivered, and thus save my honor and my
credit. I am confident of this.</p>
<p>I would like you to provide a proper outfit and start north as soon as I
telegraph you, be it night or be it day. I wish you to take up all the
country stretching away from the north pole on all sides for many degrees
south, and buy Greenland and Iceland at the best figure you can get now
while they are cheap. It is my intention to move one of the tropics up
there and transfer the frigid zone to the equator. I will have the entire
Arctic Circle in the market as a summer resort next year, and will use the
surplusage of the old climate, over and above what can be utilized on the
equator, to reduce the temperature of opposition resorts. But I have said
enough to give you an idea of the prodigious nature of my scheme and the
feasible and enormously profitable character of it. I shall join all you
happy people in England as soon as I shall have sold out some of my
principal climates and arranged with the Czar about Siberia.</p>
<p>Meantime, watch for a sign from me. Eight days from now, we shall be wide
asunder; for I shall be on the border of the Pacific, and you far out on
the Atlantic, approaching England. That day, if I am alive and my sublime
discovery is proved and established, I will send you greeting, and my
messenger shall deliver it where you are, in the solitudes of the sea; for
I will waft a vast sun-spot across the disk like drifting smoke, and you
will know it for my love-sign, and will say "Mulberry Sellers throws us a
kiss across the universe."</p>
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