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<h3>VOLUME II.</h3>
<h4>CHAPTER I.</h4>
<h3>MOUNSER GREEN.<br/> </h3>
<p>"So Peter Boyd is to go to Washington in the Paragon's place, and
Jack Slade goes to Vienna, and young Palliser is to get Slade's berth
at Lisbon." This information was given by a handsome man, known as
Mounser Green, about six feet high, wearing a velvet shooting
coat,—more properly called an office coat from its present
uses,—who had just entered a spacious well-carpeted comfortable room
in which three other gentlemen were sitting at their different
tables. This was one of the rooms in the Foreign Office and looked
out into St. James's Park. Mounser Green was a distinguished clerk in
that department,—and distinguished also in various ways, being one
of the fashionable men about town, a great adept at private
theatricals, remarkable as a billiard player at his club, and a
contributor to various magazines. At this moment he had a cigar in
his mouth, and when he entered the room he stood with his back to the
fire ready for conversation and looking very unlike a clerk who
intended to do any work. But there was a general idea that Mounser
Green was invaluable to the Foreign Office. He could speak and write
two or three foreign languages; he could do a spurt of work,—ten
hours at a sitting when required; he was ready to go through fire and
water for his chief; and was a gentleman all round. Though still
nominally a young man,—being perhaps thirty-five years of age—he
had entered the service before competitive examination had assumed
its present shape and had therefore the gifts which were required for
his special position. Some critics on the Civil Service were no doubt
apt to find fault with Mounser Green. When called upon at his office
he was never seen to be doing anything, and he always had a cigar in
his mouth. These gentlemen found out too that he never entered his
office till half-past twelve, perhaps not having also learned that he
was generally there till nearly seven. No doubt during the time that
he remained there he read a great many newspapers, and wrote a great
many private notes,—on official paper! But there may be a question
whether even these employments did not help to make Mounser Green the
valuable man he was.</p>
<p>"What a lounge for Jack Slade," said young Hoffmann.</p>
<p>"I'll tell you who it won't be a lounge for, Green," said Archibald
Currie, the clerk who held the second authority among them. "What
will Bell Trefoil think of going to Patagonia?"</p>
<p>"That's all off," said Mounser Green.</p>
<p>"I don't think so," said Charley Glossop, one of the numerous younger
sons of Lord Glossop. "She was staying only the other day down at the
Paragon's place in Rufford, and they went together to my cousin
Rufford's house. His sister,—that's Lady Penwether, told me they
were certainly engaged then."</p>
<p>"That was before the Paragon had been named for Patagonia. To tell
you a little bit of my own private mind,—which isn't scandal," said
Mounser Green, "because it is only given as opinion,—I think it just
possible that the Paragon has taken this very uncomfortable mission
because it offered him some chance of escape."</p>
<p>"Then he has more sense about him than I gave him credit for," said
Archibald Currie.</p>
<p>"Why should a man like Morton go to Patagonia?" continued Green. "He
has an independent fortune and doesn't want the money. He'd have been
sure to have something comfortable in Europe very soon if he had
waited, and was much better off as second at a place like Washington.
I was quite surprised when he took it."</p>
<p>"Patagonia isn't bad at all," said Currie.</p>
<p>"That depends on whether a man has got money of his own. When I heard
about the Paragon and Bell Trefoil at Washington, I knew there had
been a mistake made. He didn't know what he was doing. I'm a poor
man, but I wouldn't take her with £5,000 a year, settled on myself."
Poor Mounser Green!</p>
<p>"I think she's the handsomest girl in London," said Hoffmann, who was
a young man of German parentage and perhaps of German taste.</p>
<p>"That may be," continued Green;—"but, heaven and earth! what a life
she would lead a man like the Paragon! He's found it out, and
therefore thought it well to go to South America. She has declined
already, I'm told; but he means to stick to the mission." During all
this time Mounser Green was smoking his cigar with his back to the
fire, and the other clerks looked as though they had nothing to do
but talk about the private affairs of ministers abroad and their
friends. Of course it will be understood that since we last saw John
Morton the position of Minister Plenipotentiary at Patagonia had been
offered to him and that he had accepted the place in spite of Bragton
and of Arabella Trefoil.</p>
<p>At that moment a card was handed to Mounser Green by a messenger who
was desired to show the gentleman up. "It's the Paragon himself,"
said Green.</p>
<p>"We'll make him tell us whether he's going out single or double,"
said Archibald Currie.</p>
<p>"After what the Rufford people said to me I'm sure he's going to
marry her," said young Glossop. No doubt Lady Penwether had been
anxious to make it understood by every one connected with the family
that if any gossip should be heard about Rufford and Arabella Trefoil
there was nothing in it.</p>
<p>Then the Paragon was shown into the room and Mounser Green and the
young men were delighted to see him. Colonial governors at their
seats of government, and Ministers Plenipotentiary in their
ambassadorial residences are very great persons indeed; and when met
in society at home, with the stars and ribbons which are common among
them now, they are less indeed, but still something. But at the
colonial and foreign offices in London, among the assistant
secretaries and clerks, they are hardly more than common men. All the
gingerbread is gone there. His Excellency is no more than Jones, and
the Representative or Alter Ego of Royalty mildly asks little favours
of the junior clerks.</p>
<p>"Lord Drummond only wants to know what you wish and it shall be
done," said Mounser Green. Lord Drummond was the Minister for Foreign
Affairs of the day. "I hope I need hardly say that we were delighted
that you accepted the offer."</p>
<p>"One doesn't like to refuse a step upward," said Morton; "otherwise
Patagonia isn't exactly the place one would like."</p>
<p>"Very good climate," said Currie. "Ladies I have known who have gone
there have enjoyed it very much."</p>
<p>"A little rough I suppose?"</p>
<p>"They didn't seem to say so. Young Bartletot took his wife out
there,—just married. He liked it. There wasn't much society, but
they didn't care about that just at first."</p>
<p>"Ah;—I'm a single man," said Morton laughing. He was too good a
diplomate to be pumped in that simple way by such a one as Archibald
Currie.</p>
<p>"You'll like to see Lord Drummond. He is here and will be glad to
shake hands with you. Come into my room." Then Mounser Green led the
way into a small inner sanctum in which it may be presumed that he
really did his work. It was here at any rate that he wrote the notes
on official note paper.</p>
<p>"They haven't settled as yet how they're to be off it," said Currie
in a whisper, as soon as the two men were gone, "but I'll bet a
five-pound note that Bell Trefoil doesn't go out to Patagonia as his
wife."</p>
<p>"We know the Senator here well enough." This was said in the inner
room by Mounser Green to Morton, who had breakfasted with the Senator
that morning and had made an appointment to meet him at the Foreign
Office. The Senator wanted to secure a seat for himself at the
opening of Parliament which was appointed to take place in the course
of the next month, and being a member of the Committee on Foreign
Affairs in the American Senate of course thought himself entitled to
have things done for him by the Foreign Office clerks. "Oh yes, I'll
see him. Lord Drummond will get him a seat as a matter of course. How
is he getting on with your neighbour at Dillsborough?"</p>
<p>"So you've heard of that."</p>
<p>"Heard of it! who hasn't heard of it?"—At this moment the messenger
came in again and the Senator was announced. "Lord Drummond will
manage about the seats in the House of Lords, Mr. Gotobed. Of course
he'll see you if you wish it; but I'll take a note of it."</p>
<p>"If you'll do that, Mr. Green, I shall be fixed up straight. And I'd
a great deal sooner see you than his lordship."</p>
<p>"That's very flattering, Mr. Gotobed, but I'm sure I don't know why."</p>
<p>"Because Lord Drummond always seems to me to have more on hand than
he knows how to get through, and you never seem to have anything to
do."</p>
<p>"That's not quite so flattering,—and would be killing, only that I
feel that your opinion is founded on error. Mens conscia recti, Mr.
Gotobed."</p>
<p>"Exactly. I understand English pretty well;—better, as far as I can
see than some of those I meet around me here; but I don't go beyond
that, Mr. Green."</p>
<p>"I merely meant to observe, Mr. Gotobed, that as, within my own
breast, I am conscious of my zeal and diligence in Her Majesty's
service your shafts of satire pass me by without hurting me. Shall I
offer you a cigar? A candle burned at both ends is soon consumed." It
was quite clear that as quickly as the Senator got through one end of
his cigar by the usual process of burning, so quickly did he eat the
other end. But he took that which Mounser Green offered him without
any displeasure at the allusion. "I'm sorry to say that I haven't a
spittoon," said Mounser Green, "but the whole fire-place is at your
service." The Senator could hardly have heard this, as it made no
difference in his practice.</p>
<p>Morton at this moment was sent for by the Secretary of State, and the
Senator expressed his intention of waiting for him in Mr. Green's
room. "How does the great Goarly case get on, Mr. Gotobed?" asked the
clerk.</p>
<p>"Well! I don't know that it's getting on very much."</p>
<p>"You are not growing tired of it, Senator?"</p>
<p>"Not by any means. But it's getting itself complicated, Mr. Green. I
mean to see the end of it, and if I'm beat,—why I can take a beating
as well as another man."</p>
<p>"You begin to think you will be beat?"</p>
<p>"I didn't say so, Mr. Green. It is very hard to understand all the
ins and outs of a case like that in a foreign country."</p>
<p>"Then I shouldn't try it, Senator."</p>
<p>"There I differ. It is my object to learn all I can."</p>
<p>"At any rate I shouldn't pay for the lesson as you are like to do.
What'll the bill be? Four hundred dollars?"</p>
<p>"Never mind, Mr. Green. If you'll take the opinion of a good deal
older man than yourself and one who has perhaps worked harder, you'll
understand that there's no knowledge got so thoroughly as that for
which a man pays." Soon after this Morton came out from the great
man's room and went away in company with the Senator.</p>
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