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<h2> CHAPTER XLVI——OF NAMES </h2>
<p>What variety of herbs soever are shufed together in the dish, yet the
whole mass is swallowed up under one name of a sallet. In like manner,
under the consideration of names, I will make a hodge-podge of divers
articles.</p>
<p>Every nation has certain names, that, I know not why, are taken in no good
sense, as with us, John, William, Benedict. In the genealogy of princes,
also, there seem to be certain names fatally affected, as the Ptolemies of
Egypt, the Henries in England, the Charleses in France, the Baldwins in
Flanders, and the Williams of our ancient Aquitaine, from whence, 'tis
said, the name of Guyenne has its derivation; which would seem far fetched
were there not as crude derivations in Plato himself.</p>
<p>Item, 'tis a frivolous thing in itself, but nevertheless worthy to be
recorded for the strangeness of it, that is written by an eyewitness, that
Henry, Duke of Normandy, son of Henry II., king of England, making a great
feast in France, the concourse of nobility and gentry was so great, that
being, for sport's sake, divided into troops, according to their names, in
the first troop, which consisted of Williams, there were found an hundred
and ten knights sitting at the table of that name, without reckoning the
ordinary gentlemen and servants.</p>
<p>It is as pleasant to distinguish the tables by the names of the guests as
it was in the Emperor Geta to distinguish the several courses of his meat
by the first letters of the meats themselves; so that those that began
with B were served up together, as brawn, beef, bream, bustards,
becca-ficos; and so of the others. Item, there is a saying that it is a
good thing to have a good name, that is to say, credit and a good repute;
but besides this, it is really convenient to have a well-sounding name,
such as is easy of pronunciation and easy to be remembered, by reason that
kings and other great persons do by that means the more easily know and
the more hardly forget us; and indeed of our own servants we more
frequently call and employ those whose names are most ready upon the
tongue. I myself have seen Henry II., when he could not for his heart hit
of a gentleman's name of our country of Gascony, and moreover was fain to
call one of the queen's maids of honour by the general name of her race,
her own family name being so difficult to pronounce or remember; and
Socrates thinks it worthy a father's care to give fine names to his
children.</p>
<p>Item,'tis said that the foundation of Notre Dame la Grande at Poitiers
took its original from hence that a debauched young fellow formerly living
in that place, having got to him a wench, and, at her first coming in,
asking her name, and being answered that it was Mary, he felt himself so
suddenly pierced through with the awe of religion and the reverence to
that sacred name of the Blessed Virgin, that he not only immediately sent
the girl away, but became a reformed man and so continued the remainder of
his life; and that, in consideration of this miracle, there was erected
upon the place where this young man's house stood, first a chapel
dedicated to our Lady and afterwards the church that we now see standing
there. This vocal and auricular reproof wrought upon the conscience, and
that right into the soul; this that follows, insinuated itself merely by
the senses. Pythagoras being in company with some wild young fellows, and
perceiving that, heated with the feast, they comploted to go violate an
honest house, commanded the singing wench to alter her wanton airs; and by
a solemn, grave, and spondaic music, gently enchanted and laid asleep
their ardour.</p>
<p>Item, will not posterity say that our modern reformation has been
wonderfully delicate and exact, in having not only combated errors and
vices, and filled the world with devotion, humility, obedience, peace, and
all sorts of virtue; but in having proceeded so far as to quarrel with our
ancient baptismal names of Charles, Louis, Francis, to fill the world with
Methuselahs, Ezekiels, and Malachis, names of a more spiritual sound? A
gentleman, a neighbour of mine, a great admirer of antiquity, and who was
always extolling the excellences of former times in comparison with this
present age of ours, did not, amongst the rest, forget to dwell upon the
lofty and magnificent sound of the gentleman's names of those days, Don
Grumedan, Quedregan, Agesilan, which, but to hear named he conceived to
denote other kind of men than Pierre, Guillot, and Michel.</p>
<p>Item, I am mightily pleased with Jacques Amyot for leaving, throughout a
whole French oration, the Latin names entire, without varying and garbling
them to give them a French cadence. It seemed a little harsh and rough at
first; but already custom, by the authority of his Plutarch, has overcome
that novelty. I have often wished that such as write histories in Latin
would leave our names as they find them and as they are; for in making
Vaudemont into Vallemontanus, and metamorphosing names to make them suit
better with the Greek or Latin, we know not where we are, and with the
persons of the men lose the benefit of the story.</p>
<p>To conclude, 'tis a scurvy custom and of very ill consequence that we have
in our kingdom of France to call every one by the name of his manor or
seigneury; 'tis the thing in the world that the most prejudices and
confounds families and descents. A younger brother of a good family,
having a manor left him by his father, by the name of which he has been
known and honoured, cannot handsomely leave it; ten years after his
decease it falls into the hand of a stranger, who does the same: do but
judge whereabouts we shall be concerning the knowledge of these men. We
need look no further for examples than our own royal family, where every
partition creates a new surname, whilst, in the meantime, the original of
the family is totally lost. There is so great liberty taken in these
mutations, that I have not in my time seen any one advanced by fortune to
any extraordinary condition who has not presently had genealogical titles
added to him, new and unknown to his father, and who has not been
inoculated into some illustrious stem by good luck; and the obscurest
families are the most apt for falsification. How many gentlemen have we in
France who by their own account are of royal extraction? more, I think,
than who will confess they are not. Was it not a pleasant passage of a
friend of mine? There were, several gentlemen assembled together about the
dispute of one seigneur with another; which other had, in truth, some
preeminence of titles and alliances above the ordinary gentry. Upon the
debate of this prerogative, every one, to make himself equal to him,
alleged, this one extraction, that another; this, the near resemblance of
name, that, of arms; another, an old worm-eaten patent; the very least of
them was great-grandchild to some foreign king. When they came to sit
down, to dinner, my friend, instead of taking his place amongst them,
retiring with most profound conges, entreated the company to excuse him
for having hitherto lived with them at the saucy rate of a companion; but
being now better informed of their quality, he would begin to pay them the
respect due to their birth and grandeur, and that it would ill become him
to sit down among so many princes—ending this farce with a thousand
reproaches: "Let us, in God's name, satisfy ourselves with what our
fathers were contented with, with what we are. We are great enough, if we
rightly understand how to maintain it. Let us not disown the fortune and
condition of our ancestors, and let us lay aside these ridiculous
pretences, that can never be wanting to any one that has the impudence to
allege them."</p>
<p>Arms have no more security than surnames. I bear azure powdered with
trefoils or, with a lion's paw of the same armed gules in fesse. What
privilege has this to continue particularly in my house? A son-in-law will
transport it into another family, or some paltry purchaser will make them
his first arms. There is nothing wherein there is more change and
confusion.</p>
<p>But this consideration leads me, perforce, into another subject. Let us
pry a little narrowly into, and, in God's name, examine upon what
foundation we erect this glory and reputation for which the world is
turned topsy-turvy: wherein do we place this renown that we hunt after
with so much pains? It is, in the end, Peter or William that carries it,
takes it into his possession, and whom it only concerns. O what a valiant
faculty is hope, that in a mortal subject, and in a moment, makes nothing
of usurping infinity, immensity, eternity, and of supplying its master's
indigence, at its pleasure, with all things he can imagine or desire!
Nature has given us this passion for a pretty toy to play withal. And this
Peter or William, what is it but a sound, when all is done? or three or
four dashes with a pen, so easy to be varied that I would fain know to
whom is to be attributed the glory of so many victories, to Guesquin, to
Glesquin, or to Gueaquin? and yet there would be something of greater
moment in the case than in Lucian, that Sigma should serve Tau with a
process; for</p>
<p>"Non levia aut ludicra petuntur<br/>
Praemia;"<br/>
["They aim at no slight or jocular rewards."—AEneid, xii. 764.]<br/></p>
<p>the chase is there in very good earnest: the question is, which of these
letters is to be rewarded for so many sieges, battles, wounds,
imprisonments, and services done to the crown of France by this famous
constable? Nicholas Denisot—[Painter and poet, born at Le Mans,1515.]—
never concerned himself further than the letters of his name, of which he
has altered the whole contexture to build up by anagram the Count
d'Alsinois, whom he has handsomely endowed with the glory of his poetry
and painting. The historian Suetonius was satisfied with only the meaning
of his name, which made him cashier his father's surname, Lenis, to leave
Tranquillus successor to the reputation of his writings. Who would believe
that Captain Bayard should have no honour but what he derives from the
deeds of Peter Terrail; and that Antonio Iscalin should suffer himself to
his face to be robbed of the honour of so many navigations and commands at
sea and land by Captain Paulin and the Baron de la Garde? Secondly, these
are dashes of the pen common to a thousand people. How many are there, in
every family, of the same name and surname? and how many more in several
families, ages, and countries? History tells us of three of the name of
Socrates, of five Platos, of eight Aristotles, of seven Xenophons, of
twenty Demetrii, and of twenty Theodores; and how many more she was not
acquainted with we may imagine. Who hinders my groom from calling himself
Pompey the Great? But after all, what virtue, what authority, or what
secret springs are there that fix upon my deceased groom, or the other
Pompey, who had his head cut off in Egypt, this glorious renown, and these
so much honoured flourishes of the pen, so as to be of any advantage to
them?</p>
<p>"Id cinerem et manes credis curare sepultos?"<br/>
["Do you believe the dead regard such things?"—AEneid, iv. 34.]<br/></p>
<p>What sense have the two companions in greatest esteem amongst me,
Epaminondas, of this fine verse that has been so many ages current in his
praise,</p>
<p>"Consiliis nostris laus est attrita Laconum;"<br/>
["The glory of the Spartans is extinguished by my plans.<br/>
—"Cicero, Tusc. Quaes., v. 17.]<br/></p>
<p>or Africanus, of this other,</p>
<p>"A sole exoriente supra Maeotis Paludes<br/>
Nemo est qui factis me aequiparare queat."<br/>
["From where the sun rises over the Palus Maeotis, to where it sets,<br/>
there is no one whose acts can compare with mine"—Idem, ibid.]<br/></p>
<p>Survivors indeed tickle themselves with these fine phrases, and by them
incited to jealousy and desire, inconsiderately and according to their own
fancy, attribute to the dead this their own feeling, vainly flattering
themselves that they shall one day in turn be capable of the same
character. However:</p>
<p>"Ad haec se<br/>
Romanus Graiusque, et Barbaras induperator<br/>
Erexit; caucus discriminis atque laboris<br/>
Inde habuit: tanto major famae sitis est, quam<br/>
Virtutis."<br/>
["For these the Roman, the Greek, and the Barbarian commander hath<br/>
aroused himself; he has incurred thence causes of danger and toil:<br/>
so much greater is the thirst for fame than for virtue."<br/>
—Juvenal, x. 137.]<br/></p>
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