<h2><SPAN name="A_STUDY_IN_PUPPYDOM" id="A_STUDY_IN_PUPPYDOM"></SPAN>A STUDY IN PUPPYDOM.</h2>
<p><SPAN name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></SPAN><SPAN href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</SPAN></p>
<p>Time was (it was in the '70's) when we talked about Mr. Oscar Wilde;
time came (it was in the '80's) when he tried to write poetry and, more
adventurous, we tried to read it; time is when we had forgotten him, or
only remember him as the late editor of the <i>Woman's World</i>—a part for
which he was singularly unfitted, if we are to judge him by the work
which he has been allowed to publish in <i>Lippincott's Magazine</i>, and
which Messrs. Ward, Lock and Co., have not been ashamed to circulate in
Great Britain. Not being curious in ordure, and not wishing to offend
the nostrils of decent persons, we do not propose to analyse "The
Picture of Dorian Gray": that would be to advertise the developments of
an esoteric prurience. Whether the Treasury or the Vigilance Society
will think it worth while to prosecute Mr. Oscar Wilde or Messrs. Ward,
Lock and Co., we do not know; but on the whole we hope they will not.</p>
<p>The puzzle is that a young man of decent parts, who enjoyed (when he was
at Oxford), the opportunity of associating with gentlemen, should put
his name (such as it is) to so stupid and vulgar a piece of work. Let
nobody read it in the hope of finding witty paradox or racy wickedness.
The writer airs his cheap research among the garbage of the French
<i>D�cadents</i> like any drivelling pedant, and he bores you unmercifully
with his prosy rigmaroles about the beauty of the Body and the
corruption of the Soul. The grammar is better than Ouida's; the
erudition equal: but in every other respect we prefer the talented lady
who broke off with "pious aposiopesis" when she touched upon "the
horrors which are described in the pages of Suetonius and Livy"—not to
mention the yet worse infamies believed by many scholars to be
accurately portrayed in the lost works of Plutarch, Venus, and
Nicodemus, especially Nicodemus.</p>
<p>Let us take one peep at the young men in Mr. Oscar Wilde's story. Puppy
No. 1 is the painter of the picture of Dorian Gray; Puppy No. 2 is the
critic (a courtesy lord, skilled in all the knowledge of the Egyptians
and aweary of all the sins and pleasures of London); Puppy No. 3 is the
original, cultivated by Puppy No. 1 with a "romantic friendship". The
Puppies fall a-talking: Puppy No. 1 about his art, Puppy No. 2 about his
sins and pleasures and the pleasures of sin, and Puppy No. 3 about
himself—always about himself, and generally about his face, which is
"brainless and beautiful". The Puppies appear to fill up the intervals
of talk by plucking daisies and playing with them, and sometimes by
drinking "something with strawberry in it." The youngest Puppy is told
that he is charming; but he mustn't sit in the sun for fear of spoiling
his complexion. When he is rebuked for being a naughty, wilful boy, he
makes a pretty <i>moue</i>—this man of twenty! This is how he is addressed
by the Blas� Puppy at their first meeting:</p>
<p>"Yes, Mr. Gray, the gods have been good to you. But what the gods give
they quickly take away.... When your youth goes, your beauty will go
with it, and then you will suddenly discover that there are no triumphs
left for you.... Time is jealous of you, and wars against your lilies
and roses. You will become sallow, and hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed.
You will suffer horribly."<SPAN name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></SPAN><SPAN href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</SPAN></p>
<p>Why, bless our souls! haven't we read something of this kind somewhere
in the classics? Yes, of course we have! But in what recondite author?
Ah—yes—no—yes, it <i>was</i> in Horace! What an advantage it is to have
received a classical education! And how it will astonish the Yankees!
But we must not forget our Puppies, who have probably occupied their
time in lapping "something with strawberry in it." Puppy No. 1 (the Art
Puppy) has been telling Puppy No. 3 (the Doll Puppy) how much he admires
him. What is the answer? "I am less to you than your ivory Hermes or
your silver Faun. You will like them always. How long will you like me?
Till I have my first wrinkle, I suppose. I know now that when one loses
one's good looks, whatever they may be, one loses everything.... I am
jealous of the portrait you have painted of me. Why should it keep what
I must lose?... Oh, if it was only the other way! If the picture could
only change, and I could be always what I am now!"<SPAN name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></SPAN><SPAN href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</SPAN></p>
<p>No sooner said than done! The picture <i>does</i> change: the original
doesn't. Here's a situation for you! Th�ophile Gautier could have made
it romantic, entrancing, beautiful. Mr. Stevenson could have made it
convincing, humorous, pathetic. Mr. Anstey could have made it
screamingly funny. It has been reserved for Mr. Oscar Wilde to make it
dull and nasty. The promising youth plunges into every kind of mean
depravity, and ends in being "cut" by fast women and vicious men. He
finishes with murder: the New Voluptuousness always leads up to
blood-shedding—that is part of the cant. The gore and gashes wherein
Mr. Rider Haggard takes a chaste delight are the natural diet for a
cultivated palate which is tired of mere licentiousness. And every
wickedness of filthiness committed by Dorian Gray is faithfully
registered upon his face in the picture; but his living features are
undisturbed and unmarred by his inward vileness. This is the story which
Mr. Oscar Wilde has tried to tell; a very lame story it is, and very
lamely it is told.</p>
<p>Why has he told it? There are two explanations; and, so far as we can
see, not more than two. Not to give pleasure to his readers: the thing
is too clumsy, too tedious, and—alas! that we should say it—too
stupid. Perhaps it was to shock his readers, in order that they might
cry Fie! upon him and talk about him, much as Mr. Grant Allen recently
tried in the <i>Universal Review</i> to arouse, by a licentious theory of the
sexual relations, an attention which is refused to his popular chatter
about other men's science. Are we then to suppose that Mr. Oscar Wilde
has yielded to the craving for a notoriety which he once earned by
talking fiddle faddle about other men's art, and sees his only chance of
recalling it by making himself obvious at the cost of being obnoxious,
and by attracting the notice which the olfactory sense cannot refuse to
the presence of certain self-asserting organisms? That is an
uncharitable hypothesis, and we would gladly abandon it. It may be
suggested (but is it more charitable?) that he derives pleasure from
treating a subject merely because it is disgusting. The phenomenon is
not unknown in recent literature; and it takes two forms, in appearance
widely separate—in fact, two branches from the same root, a root which
draws its life from malodorous putrefaction. One development is found in
the Puritan prurience which produced Tolstoi's "Kreutzer Sonata" and Mr.
Stead's famous outbursts. That is odious enough and mischievous enough,
and it is rightly execrated, because it is tainted with an hypocrisy not
the less culpable because charitable persons may believe it to be
unconscious. But is it more odious or more mischievous than the "frank
Paganism" (that is the word, is it not?) which delights in dirtiness and
confesses its delight? Still they are both chips from the same
block—"The Maiden Tribute of Modern Babylon" and "The Picture of Dorian
Gray"—and both of them ought to be chucked into the fire. Not so much
because they are dangerous and corrupt (they are corrupt but not
dangerous) as because they are incurably silly, written by simple
<i>poseurs</i> (whether they call themselves Puritan or Pagan) who know
nothing about the life which they affect to have explored, and because
they are mere catchpenny revelations of the non-existent, which, if they
reveal anything at all, are revelations only of the singularly
unpleasant minds from which they emerge.</p>
<div class="footnote"><p><SPAN name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></SPAN><SPAN href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></SPAN> <i>St. James's Gazette</i>, June 24th, 1890.</p>
</div>
<div class="footnote"><p><SPAN name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></SPAN><SPAN href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></SPAN> Pp. 16, 17.</p>
</div>
<div class="footnote"><p><SPAN name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></SPAN><SPAN href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></SPAN> p. 19.</p>
</div>
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<p><i>Who can help laughing when an ordinary journalist seriously proposes to
limit the subject-matter at the disposal of the artist?</i></p>
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