<SPAN name="chap05"></SPAN>
<h3> V </h3>
<h3> THE KITCHEN SIDE OF THE DOOR </h3>
<p>The City was celebrating New Year's Eve. Spelled thus, with a capital C,
know it can mean but New York. In the Pink Fountain room of the Newest
Hotel all those grand old forms and customs handed down to us for the
occasion were being rigidly observed in all their original quaintness.
The Van Dyked man who looked like a Russian Grand Duke (he really was a
chiropodist) had drunk champagne out of the pink satin slipper of the
lady who behaved like an actress (she was forelady at Schmaus' Wholesale
Millinery, eighth floor). The two respectable married ladies there in
the corner had been kissed by each other's husbands. The slim,
Puritan-faced woman in white, with her black hair so demurely parted and
coiled in a sleek knot, had risen suddenly from her place and walked
indolently to the edge of the plashing pink fountain in the center of the
room, had stood contemplating its shallows with a dreamy half-smile on
her lips, and then had lifted her slim legs slowly and gracefully over
its fern-fringed basin and had waded into its chilling midst, trailing
her exquisite white satin and chiffon draperies after her, and scaring
the goldfish into fits. The loudest scream of approbation had come from
the yellow-haired, loose-lipped youth who had made the wager, and lost
it. The heavy blonde in the inevitable violet draperies showed signs of
wanting to dance on the table. Her companion—a structure made up of
layer upon layer, and fold upon fold of flabby tissue—knew all the
waiters by their right names, and insisted on singing with the orchestra
and beating time with a rye roll. The clatter of dishes was giving way
to the clink of glasses.</p>
<p>In the big, bright kitchen back, of the Pink Fountain room Miss Gussie
Fink sat at her desk, calm, watchful, insolent-eyed, a goddess sitting in
judgment. On the pay roll of the Newest Hotel Miss Gussie Fink's name
appeared as kitchen checker, but her regular job was goddessing. Her
altar was a high desk in a corner of the busy kitchen, and it was an
altar of incense, of burnt-offerings, and of showbread. Inexorable as a
goddess of the ancients was Miss Fink, and ten times as difficult to
appease. For this is the rule of the Newest Hotel, that no waiter may
carry his laden tray restaurantward until its contents have been viewed
and duly checked by the eye and hand of Miss Gussie Fink, or her
assistants. Flat upon the table must go every tray, off must go each
silver dish-cover, lifted must be each napkin to disclose its treasure of
steaming corn or hot rolls. Clouds of incense rose before Miss Gussie
Fink and she sniffed it unmoved, her eyes, beneath level brows, regarding
savory broiler or cunning ice with equal indifference, appraising alike
lobster cocktail or onion soup, traveling from blue points to brie.
Things a la and things glace were all one to her. Gazing at food was
Miss Gussie Fink's occupation, and just to see the way she regarded a
boneless squab made you certain that she never ate.</p>
<p>In spite of the I-don't-know-how-many (see ads) New Year's Eve diners for
whom food was provided that night, the big, busy kitchen was the most
orderly, shining, spotless place imaginable. But Miss Gussie Fink was
the neatest, most immaculate object in all that great, clean room. There
was that about her which suggested daisies in a field, if you know what I
mean. This may have been due to the fact that her eyes were brown while
her hair was gold, or it may have been something about the way her
collars fitted high, and tight, and smooth, or the way her close white
sleeves came down to meet her pretty hands, or the way her shining hair
sprang from her forehead. Also the smooth creaminess of her clear skin
may have had something to do with it. But privately, I think it was due
to the way she wore her shirtwaists. Miss Gussie Fink could wear a
starched white shirtwaist under a close-fitting winter coat, remove the
coat, run her right forefinger along her collar's edge and her left thumb
along the back of her belt and disclose to the admiring world a blouse as
unwrinkled and unsullied as though it had just come from her own skilful
hands at the ironing board. Miss Gussie Fink was so innately,
flagrantly, beautifully clean-looking that—well, there must be a stop to
this description.</p>
<p>She was the kind of girl you'd like to see behind the counter of your
favorite delicatessen, knowing that you need not shudder as her fingers
touch your Sunday night supper slices of tongue, and Swiss cheese, and
ham. No girl had ever dreamed of refusing to allow Gussie to borrow her
chamois for a second.</p>
<p>To-night Miss Fink had come on at 10 P.M., which was just two hours later
than usual. She knew that she was to work until 6 A.M., which may have
accounted for the fact that she displayed very little of what the fans
call ginger as she removed her hat and coat and hung them on the hook
behind the desk. The prospect of that all-night, eight-hour stretch may
have accounted for it, I say. But privately, and entre nous, it didn't.
For here you must know of Heiny. Heiny, alas! now Henri.</p>
<p>Until two weeks ago Henri had been Heiny and Miss Fink had been Kid.
When Henri had been Heiny he had worked in the kitchen at many things,
but always with a loving eye on Miss Gussie Fink. Then one wild night
there had been a waiters' strike—wages or hours or tips or all three.
In the confusion that followed Heiny had been pressed into service and a
chopped coat. He had fitted into both with unbelievable nicety, proving
that waiters are born, not made. Those little tricks and foibles that
are characteristic of the genus waiter seemed to envelop him as though a
fairy garment had fallen upon his shoulders. The folded napkin under his
left arm seemed to have been placed there by nature, so perfectly did it
fit into place. The ghostly tread, the little whisking skip, the
half-simper, the deferential bend that had in it at the same time
something of insolence, all were there; the very "Yes, miss," and "Very
good, sir," rose automatically and correctly to his untrained lips.
Cinderella rising resplendent from her ash-strewn hearth was not more
completely transformed than Heiny in his role of Henri. And with the
transformation Miss Gussie Fink had been left behind her desk
disconsolate.</p>
<p>Kitchens are as quick to seize upon these things and gossip about them as
drawing rooms are. And because Miss Gussie Fink had always worn a little
air of aloofness to all except Heiny, the kitchen was the more eager to
make the most of its morsel. Each turned it over under his tongue—Tony,
the Crook, whom Miss Fink had scorned; Francois, the entree cook, who
often forgot he was married; Miss Sweeney, the bar-checker, who was
jealous of Miss Fink's complexion. Miss Fink heard, and said nothing.
She only knew that there would be no dear figure waiting for her when the
night's work was done. For two weeks now she had put on her hat and coat
and gone her way at one o'clock alone. She discovered that to be taken
home night after night under Heiny's tender escort had taught her a
ridiculous terror of the streets at night now that she was without
protection. Always the short walk from the car to the flat where Miss
Fink lived with her mother had been a glorious, star-lit, all too brief
moment. Now it was an endless and terrifying trial, a thing of shivers
and dread, fraught with horror of passing the alley just back of
Cassidey's buffet. There had even been certain little half-serious,
half-jesting talks about the future into which there had entered the
subject of a little delicatessen and restaurant in a desirable
neighborhood, with Heiny in the kitchen, and a certain blonde, neat,
white-shirtwaisted person in charge of the desk and front shop.</p>
<p>She and her mother had always gone through a little formula upon Miss
Fink's return from work. They never used it now. Gussie's mother was a
real mother—the kind that wakes up when you come home.</p>
<p>"That you, Gussie?" Ma Fink would call from the bedroom, at the sound of
the key in the lock.</p>
<p>"It's me, ma."</p>
<p>"Heiny bring you home?"</p>
<p>"Sure," happily.</p>
<p>"There's a bit of sausage left, and some pie if——"</p>
<p>"Oh, I ain't hungry. We stopped at Joey's downtown and had a cup of
coffee and a ham on rye. Did you remember to put out the milk bottle?"</p>
<p>For two weeks there had been none of that. Gussie had learned to creep
silently into bed, and her mother, being a mother, feigned sleep.</p>
<p>To-night at her desk Miss Gussie Fink seemed a shade cooler, more
self-contained, and daisylike than ever. From somewhere at the back of
her head she could see that Heiny was avoiding her desk and was using the
services of the checker at the other end of the room. And even as the
poison of this was eating into her heart she was tapping her forefinger
imperatively on the desk before her and saying to Tony, the Crook:</p>
<p>"Down on the table with that tray, Tony—flat. This may be a busy little
New Year's Eve, but you can't come any of your sleight-of-hand stuff on
me." For Tony had a little trick of concealing a dollar-and-a-quarter
sirloin by the simple method of slapping the platter close to the
underside of his tray and holding it there with long, lean fingers
outspread, the entire bit of knavery being concealed in the folds of a
flowing white napkin in the hand that balanced the tray. Into Tony's
eyes there came a baleful gleam. His lean jaw jutted out threateningly.</p>
<p>"You're the real Weissenheimer kid, ain't you?" he sneered. "Never mind.
I'll get you at recess."</p>
<p>"Some day," drawled Miss Fink, checking the steak, "the house'll get wise
to your stuff and then you'll have to go back to the coal wagon. I know
so much about you it's beginning to make me uncomfortable. I hate to
carry around a burden of crime."</p>
<p>"You're a sorehead because Heiny turned you down and now——"</p>
<p>"Move on there!" snapped Miss Fink, "or I'll call the steward to settle
you. Maybe he'd be interested to know that you've been counting in the
date and your waiter's number, and adding 'em in at the bottom of your
check."</p>
<p>Tony, the Crook, turned and skimmed away toward the dining-room, but the
taste of victory was bitter in Miss Fink's mouth.</p>
<p>Midnight struck. There came from the direction of the Pink Fountain Room
a clamor and din which penetrated the thickness of the padded doors that
separated the dining-room from the kitchen beyond. The sound rose and
swelled above the blare of the orchestra. Chairs scraped on the marble
floor as hundreds rose to their feet. The sound of clinking glasses
became as the jangling of a hundred bells. There came the sharp spat of
hand-clapping, then cheers, yells, huzzas. Through the swinging doors at
the end of the long passageway Miss Fink could catch glimpses of dazzling
color, of shimmering gowns, of bare arms uplifted, of flowers, and
plumes, and jewels, with the rosy light of the famed pink fountain
casting a gracious glow over all. Once she saw a tall young fellow throw
his arm about the shoulder of a glorious creature at the next table, and
though the door swung shut before she could see it, Miss Fink knew that
he had kissed her.</p>
<p>There were no New Year's greetings in the kitchen back of the Pink
Fountain Room. It was the busiest moment in all that busy night. The
heat of the ovens was so intense that it could be felt as far as Miss
Fink's remote corner. The swinging doors between dining-room and kitchen
were never still. A steady stream of waiters made for the steam tables
before which the white-clad chefs stood ladling, carving, basting,
serving, gave their orders, received them, stopped at the checking-desk,
and sped dining-roomward again. Tony, the Crook, was cursing at one of
the little Polish vegetable girls who had not been quick enough about the
garnishing of a salad, and she was saying, over and over again, in her
thick tongue:</p>
<p>"Aw, shod op yur mout'!"</p>
<p>The thud-thud of Miss Fink's checking-stamp kept time to flying
footsteps, but even as her practised eye swept over the tray before her
she saw the steward direct Henri toward her desk, just as he was about to
head in the direction of the minor checking-desk. Beneath downcast lids
she saw him coming. There was about Henri to-night a certain radiance, a
sort of electrical elasticity, so nimble, so tireless, so exuberant was
he. In the eyes of Miss Gussie Fink he looked heartbreakingly handsome
in his waiter's uniform—handsome, distinguished, remote, and infinitely
desirable. And just behind him, revenge in his eye, came Tony.</p>
<p>The flat surface of the desk received Henri's tray. Miss Fink regarded
it with a cold and business-like stare. Henri whipped his napkin from
under his left arm and began to remove covers, dexterously. Off came the
first silver, dome-shaped top.</p>
<p>"Guinea hen," said Henri.</p>
<p>"I seen her lookin' at you when you served the little necks," came from
Tony, as though continuing a conversation begun in some past moment of
pause, "and she's some lovely doll, believe me."</p>
<p>Miss Fink scanned the guinea hen thoroughly, but with a detached air, and
selected the proper stamp from the box at her elbow. Thump! On the
broad pasteboard sheet before her appeared the figures $1.75 after
Henri's number.</p>
<p>"Think so?" grinned Henri, and removed another cover. "One candied
sweets."</p>
<p>"I bet some day we'll see you in the Sunday papers, Heiny," went on Tony,
"with a piece about handsome waiter runnin' away with beautiful s'ciety
girl. Say; you're too perfect even for a waiter."</p>
<p>Thump! Thirty cents.</p>
<p>"Quit your kiddin'," said the flattered Henri. "One endive, French
dressing."</p>
<p>Thump! "Next!" said Miss Fink, dispassionately, yawned, and smiled
fleetingly at the entree cook who wasn't looking her way. Then, as Tony
slid his tray toward her: "How's business, Tony? H'm? How many two-bit
cigar bands have you slipped onto your own private collection of nickel
straights and made a twenty-cent rake-off?"</p>
<p>But there was a mist in the bright brown eyes as Tony the Crook turned
away with his tray. In spite of the satisfaction of having had the last
word, Miss Fink knew in her heart that Tony had "got her at recess," as
he had said he would.</p>
<p>Things were slowing up for Miss Fink. The stream of hurrying waiters was
turned in the direction of the kitchen bar now. From now on the eating
would be light, and the drinking heavy. Miss Fink, with time hanging
heavy, found herself blinking down at the figures stamped on the
pasteboard sheet before her, and in spite of the blinking, two marks that
never were intended for a checker's report splashed down just over the
$1.75 after Henri's number. A lovely doll! And she had gazed at Heiny.
Well, that was to be expected. No woman could gaze unmoved upon Heiny.
"A lovely doll—"</p>
<p>"Hi, Miss Fink!" it was the steward's voice. "We need you over in the
bar to help Miss Sweeney check the drinks. They're coming too swift for
her. The eating will be light from now on; just a little something salty
now and then."</p>
<p>So Miss Fink dabbed covertly at her eyes and betook herself out of the
atmosphere of roasting, and broiling, and frying, and stewing; away from
the sight of great copper kettles, and glowing coals and hissing pans,
into a little world fragrant with mint, breathing of orange and lemon
peel, perfumed with pineapple, redolent of cinnamon and clove, reeking
with things spirituous. Here the splutter of the broiler was replaced by
the hiss of the siphon, and the pop-pop of corks, and the tinkle and
clink of ice against glass.</p>
<p>"Hello, dearie!" cooed Miss Sweeney, in greeting, staring hard at the
suspicious redness around Miss Fink's eyelids. "Ain't you sweet to come
over here in the headache department and help me out! Here's the wine
list. You'll prob'ly need it. Say, who do you suppose invented New
Year's Eve? They must of had a imagination like a Greek 'bus boy. I'm
limp as a rag now, and it's only two-thirty. I've got a regular cramp in
my wrist from checkin' quarts. Say, did you hear about Heiny's crowd?"</p>
<p>"No," said Miss Fink, evenly, and began to study the first page of the
wine list under the heading "Champagnes of Noted Vintages."</p>
<p>"Well," went on Miss Sweeney's little thin, malicious voice, "he's fell
in soft. There's a table of three, and they're drinkin' 1874 Imperial
Crown at twelve dollars per, like it was Waukesha ale. And every time
they finish a bottle one of the guys pays for it with a brand new ten and
a brand new five and tells Heiny to keep the change. Can you beat it?"</p>
<p>"I hope," said Miss Fink, pleasantly, "that the supply of 1874 will hold
out till morning. I'd hate to see them have to come down to ten dollar
wine. Here you, Tony! Come back here! I may be a new hand in this
department but I'm not so green that you can put a gold label over on me
as a yellow label. Notice that I'm checking you another fifty cents."</p>
<p>"Ain't he the grafter!" laughed Miss Sweeney. She leaned toward Miss
Fink and lowered her voice discreetly. "Though I'll say this for'm. If
you let him get away with it now an' then, he'll split even with you.
H'm? O, well, now, don't get so high and mighty. The management expects
it in this department. That's why they pay starvation wages."</p>
<p>An unusual note of color crept into Miss Gussie Fink's smooth cheek. It
deepened and glowed as Heiny darted around the corner and up to the bar.
There was about him an air of suppressed excitement—suppressed, because
Heiny was too perfect a waiter to display emotion.</p>
<p>"Not another!" chanted the bartenders, in chorus.</p>
<p>"Yes," answered Henri, solemnly, and waited while the wine cellar was
made to relinquish another rare jewel.</p>
<p>"O, you Heiny!" called Miss Sweeney, "tell us what she looks like. If I
had time I'd take a peek myself. From what Tony says she must look
something like Maxine Elliot, only brighter."</p>
<p>Henri turned. He saw Miss Fink. A curious little expression came into
his eyes—a Heiny look, it might have been called, as he regarded his
erstwhile sweetheart's unruffled attire, and clear skin, and steady eye
and glossy hair. She was looking past him in that baffling, maddening
way that angry women have. Some of Henri's poise seemed to desert him in
that moment. He appeared a shade less debonair as he received the
precious bottle from the wine man's hands. He made for Miss Fink's desk
and stood watching her while she checked his order. At the door he
turned and looked over his shoulder at Miss Sweeney.</p>
<p>"Some time," he said, deliberately, "when there's no ladies around, I'll
tell you what I think she looks like."</p>
<p>And the little glow of color in Miss Gussic Fink's smooth cheek became a
crimson flood that swept from brow to throat.</p>
<p>"Oh, well," snickered Miss Sweeney, to hide her own discomfiture, "this
is little Heiny's first New Year's Eve in the dining-room. Honest, I
b'lieve he's shocked. He don't realize that celebratin' New Year's Eve
is like eatin' oranges. You got to let go your dignity t' really enjoy
'em."</p>
<p>Three times more did Henri enter and demand a bottle of the famous
vintage, and each time he seemed a shade less buoyant. His elation
diminished as his tips grew greater until, as he drew up at the bar at
six o'clock, he seemed wrapped in impenetrable gloom.</p>
<p>"Them hawgs sousin' yet?" shrilled Miss Sweeney. She and Miss Fink had
climbed down from their high stools, and were preparing to leave. Henri
nodded, drearily, and disappeared in the direction of the Pink Fountain
Room.</p>
<p>Miss Fink walked back to her own desk in the corner near the dining-room
door. She took her hat off the hook, and stood regarding it,
thoughtfully. Then, with a little air of decision, she turned and walked
swiftly down the passageway that separated dining-room from kitchen.
Tillie, the scrub-woman, was down on her hands and knees in one corner of
the passage. She was one of a small army of cleaners that had begun the
work of clearing away the debris of the long night's revel. Miss Fink
lifted her neat skirts high as she tip-toed through the little soapy pool
that followed in the wake of Tillie, the scrub-woman. She opened the
swinging doors a cautious little crack and peered in. What she saw was
not pretty. If the words sordid and bacchanalian had been part of Miss
Fink's vocabulary they would have risen to her lips then. The crowd had
gone. The great room contained not more than half a dozen people.
Confetti littered the floor. Here and there a napkin, crushed and
bedraggled into an unrecognizable ball, lay under a table. From an
overturned bottle the dregs were dripping drearily. The air was stale,
stifling, poisonous.</p>
<p>At a little table in the center of the room Henri's three were still
drinking. They were doing it in a dreadful and businesslike way. There
were two men and one woman. The faces of all three were mahogany colored
and expressionless. There was about them an awful sort of stillness.
Something in the sight seemed to sicken Gussie Fink. It came to her that
the wintry air outdoors must be gloriously sweet, and cool, and clean in
contrast to this. She was about to turn away, with a last look at Heiny
yawning behind his hand, when suddenly the woman rose unsteadily to her
feet, balancing herself with her finger tips on the table. She raised
her head and stared across the room with dull, unseeing eyes, and licked
her lips with her tongue. Then she turned and walked half a dozen paces,
screamed once with horrible shrillness, and crashed to the floor. She
lay there in a still, crumpled heap, the folds of her exquisite gown
rippling to meet a little stale pool of wine that had splashed from some
broken glass. Then this happened. Three people ran toward the woman on
the floor, and two people ran past her and out of the room. The two who
ran away were the men with whom she had been drinking, and they were not
seen again. The three who ran toward her were Henri, the waiter, Miss
Gussie Fink, checker, and Tillie, the scrub-woman. Henri and Miss Fink
reached her first. Tillie, the scrub-woman, was a close third. Miss
Gussie Fink made as though to slip her arm under the poor bruised head,
but Henri caught her wrist fiercely (for a waiter) and pulled her to her
feet almost roughly.</p>
<p>"You leave her alone, Kid," he commanded.</p>
<p>Miss Gussie Fink stared, indignation choking her utterance. And as she
stared the fierce light in Henri's eyes was replaced by the light of
tenderness.</p>
<p>"We'll tend to her," said Henri; "she ain't fit for you to touch. I
wouldn't let you soil your hands on such truck." And while Gussie still
stared he grasped the unconscious woman by the shoulders, while another
waiter grasped her ankles, with Tillie, the scrub-woman, arranging her
draperies pityingly around her, and together they carried her out of the
dining-room to a room beyond.</p>
<p>Back in the kitchen Miss Gussie Fink was preparing to don her hat, but
she was experiencing some difficulty because of the way in which her
fingers persisted in trembling. Her face was turned away from the
swinging doors, but she knew when Henri came in. He stood just behind
her, in silence. When she turned to face him she found Henri looking at
her, and as he looked all the Heiny in him came to the surface and shone
in his eyes. He looked long and silently at Miss Gussie Fink—at the
sane, simple, wholesomeness of her, at her clear brown eyes, at her white
forehead from which the shining hair sprang away in such a delicate line,
at her immaculately white shirtwaist, and her smooth, snug-fitting collar
that came up to the lobes of her little pink ears, at her creamy skin, at
her trim belt. He looked as one who would rest his eyes—eyes weary of
gazing upon satins, and jewels, and rouge, and carmine, and white arms,
and bosoms.</p>
<p>"Gee, Kid! You look good to me," he said.</p>
<p>"Do I—Heiny?" whispered Miss Fink.</p>
<p>"Believe me!" replied Heiny, fervently. "It was just a case of swelled
head. Forget it, will you? Say, that gang in there to-night—why, say,
that gang——"</p>
<p>"I know," interrupted Miss Fink.</p>
<p>"Going home?" asked Heiny.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Suppose we have a bite of something to eat first," suggested Heiny.</p>
<p>Miss Fink glanced round the great, deserted kitchen. As she gazed a
little expression of disgust wrinkled her pretty nose—the nose that
perforce had sniffed the scent of so many rare and exquisite dishes.</p>
<p>"Sure," she assented, joyously, "but not here. Let's go around the
corner to Joey's. I could get real chummy with a cup of good hot coffee
and a ham on rye."</p>
<p>He helped her on with her coat, and if his hands rested a moment on her
shoulders who was there to see it? A few sleepy, wan-eyed waiters and
Tillie, the scrub-woman. Together they started toward the door. Tillie,
the scrubwoman, had worked her wet way out of the passage and into the
kitchen proper. She and her pail blocked their way. She was sopping up
a soapy pool with an all-encompassing gray scrub-rag. Heiny and Gussie
stopped a moment perforce to watch her. It was rather fascinating to see
how that artful scrub-rag craftily closed in upon the soapy pool until it
engulfed it. Tillie sat back on her knees to wring out the water-soaked
rag. There was something pleasing in the sight. Tillie's blue calico
was faded white in patches and at the knees it was dark with soapy water.
Her shoes were turned up ludicrously at the toes, as scrub-women's shoes
always are. Tillie's thin hair was wadded back into a moist knob at the
back and skewered with a gray-black hairpin. From her parboiled,
shriveled fingers to her ruddy, perspiring face there was nothing of
grace or beauty about Tillie. And yet Heiny found something pleasing
there. He could not have told you why, so how can I, unless to say that
it was, perhaps, for much the same reason that we rejoice in the
wholesome, safe, reassuring feel of the gray woolen blanket on our bed
when we wake from a horrid dream.</p>
<p>"A Happy New Year to you," said Heiny gravely, and took his hand out of
his pocket.</p>
<p>Tillie's moist right hand closed over something. She smiled so that one
saw all her broken black teeth.</p>
<p>"The same t' you," said Tillie. "The same t' you."</p>
<br/><br/><br/>
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