<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0049" id="link2H_4_0049"></SPAN></p>
<h2> To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS, Bart. of Jesus college, Oxon. </h2>
<h3> DEAR KNIGHT, </h3>
<p>The manner of living at Harrigate was so agreeable to my disposition, that
I left the place with some regret—Our aunt Tabby would have probably
made some objection to our departing so soon, had not an accident
embroiled her with Mr Micklewhimmen, the Scotch advocate, on whose heart
she had been practising, from the second day after our arrival—That
original, though seemingly precluded from the use of his limbs, had turned
his genius to good account—In short, by dint of groaning, and
whining, he had excited the compassion of the company so effectually, that
an old lady, who occupied the very best apartment in the house, gave it up
for his case and convenience. When his man led him into the Long Room, all
the females were immediately in commotion—One set an elbow-chair;
another shook up the cushion; a third brought a stool; and a fourth a
pillow, for the accommodation of his feet— Two ladies (of whom Tabby
was always one) supported him into the dining-room, and placed him
properly at the table; and his taste was indulged with a succession of
delicacies, culled by their fair hands. All this attention he repaid with
a profusion of compliments and benedictions, which were not the less
agreeable for being delivered in the Scottish dialect. As for Mrs Tabitha,
his respects were particularly addressed to her, and he did not fail to
mingle them with religious reflections, touching free grace, knowing her
bias to methodism, which he also professed upon a calvinistical model.</p>
<p>For my part, I could not help thinking this lawyer was not such an invalid
as he pretended to be. I observed he ate very heartily three times a day;
and though his bottle was marked stomachic tincture, he had recourse to it
so often, and seemed to swallow it with such peculiar relish, that I
suspected it was not compounded in the apothecary's shop, or the chemist's
laboratory. One day, while he was earnest in discourse with Mrs Tabitha,
and his servant had gone out on some occasion or other, I dexterously
exchanged the labels, and situation of his bottle and mine; and having
tasted his tincture, found it was excellent claret. I forthwith handed it
about me to some of my neighbours, and it was quite emptied before Mr
Micklewhimmen had occasion to repeat his draught. At length, turning
about, he took hold of my bottle, instead of his own, and, filling a large
glass, drank to the health of Mrs Tabitha. It had scarce touched his lips,
when he perceived the change which had been put upon him, and was at first
a little out of countenance. He seemed to retire within himself, in order
to deliberate, and in half a minute his resolution was taken; addressing
himself to our quarter, 'I give the gentleman credit for his wit (said
he); it was a gude practical joke; but sometimes hi joci in seria ducunt
mala—I hope for his own sake he has na drank all the liccor; for it
was a vara poorful infusion of jallap in Bourdeaux wine; at its possable
he may ha ta'en sic a dose as will produce a terrible catastrophe in his
ain booels—'</p>
<p>By far the greater part of the contents had fallen to the share of a young
clothier from Leeds, who had come to make a figure at Harrigate, and was,
in effect a great coxcomb in his way. It was with a view to laugh at his
fellow-guests, as well as to mortify the lawyer, that he had emptied the
bottle, when it came to his turn, and he had laughed accordingly: but now
his mirth gave way to his apprehension—He began to spit, to make wry
faces, and writhe himself into various contorsions—'Damn the stuff!
(cried he) I thought it had a villainous twang—pah! He that would
cozen a Scot, mun get oope betimes, and take Old Scratch for his
counsellor—' 'In troth mester what d'ye ca'um (replied the lawyer),
your wit has run you into a filthy puddle—I'm truly consarned for
your waeful case—The best advice I can give you, in sic a delemma,
is to send an express to Rippon for doctor Waugh, without delay, and, in
the mean time, swallow all the oil and butter you can find in the hoose,
to defend your poor stomach and intastines from the villication of the
particles of the jallap, which is vara violent, even when taken in
moderation.'</p>
<p>The poor clothier's torments had already begun: he retired, roaring with
pain, to his own chamber; the oil was swallowed, and the doctor sent for;
but before he arrived, the miserable patient had made such discharges
upwards and downwards, that nothing remained to give him further offence;
and this double evacuation, was produced by imagination alone; for what he
had drank was genuine wine of Bourdeaux, which the lawyer had brought from
Scotland for his own private use. The clothier, finding the joke turn out
so expensive and disagreeable, quitted the house next morning, leaving the
triumph to Micklewhimmen, who enjoyed it internally without any outward
signs of exultation—on the contrary, he affected to pity the young
man for what he had suffered; and acquired fresh credit from this shew of
moderation.</p>
<p>It was about the middle of the night, which succeeded this adventure, that
the vent of the kitchen chimney being foul, the soot took fire, and the
alarm was given in a dreadful manner. Every body leaped naked out of bed,
and in a minute the whole house was filled with cries and confusion—There
was two stairs in the house, and to these we naturally ran; but they were
both so blocked up, by the people pressing one upon another, that it
seemed impossible to pass, without throwing down and trampling upon the
women. In the midst of this anarchy, Mr Micklewhimmen, with a leathern
portmanteau on his back, came running as nimble as a buck along the
passage; and Tabby in her underpetticoat, endeavouring to hook him under
the arm, that she might escape through his protection, he very fairly
pushed her down, crying, 'Na, na, gude faith, charity begins at hame!'
Without paying the least respect to the shrieks and intreaties of his
female friends, he charged through the midst of the crowd, overturning
every thing that opposed him; and actually fought his way to the bottom of
the Stair-case—By this time Clinker had found a ladder by which he
entered the window of my uncle's chamber, where our family was assembled,
and proposed that we should make our exit successively by that conveyance.
The 'squire exhorted his sister to begin the descent; but, before she
could resolve, her woman, Mrs Winifred Jenkins, in a transport of terror,
threw herself out at the window upon the ladder, while Humphry dropped
upon the ground, that he might receive her in her descent—This
maiden was just as she had started out of bed, the moon shone very bright,
and a fresh breeze of wind blowing, none of Mrs Winifred's beauties could
possibly escape the view of the fortunate Clinker, whose heart was not
able to withstand the united force of so many charms; at least I am much
mistaken, if he has not been her humble slave from that moment—He
received her in his arms, and, giving her his coat to protect her from the
weather, ascended again with admirable dexterity.</p>
<p>At that instant, the landlord of the house called out with an audible
voice, that the fire was extinguished, and the ladies had nothing further
to fear: this was a welcome note to the audience, and produced an
immediate effect; the shrieking ceased, and a confused sound of
expostulation ensued. I conducted Mrs Tabitha and my sister to their own
chamber, where Liddy fainted away; but was soon brought to herself. Then I
went to offer my services to the other ladies, who might want assistance—They
were all scudding through the passage to their several apartments; and as
the thoroughfair was lighted by two lamps, I had a pretty good observation
of them in their transit; but as most of them were naked to the smock, and
all their heads shrowded in huge nightcaps, I could not distinguish one
face from another, though I recognized some of their voices—These
were generally plaintive; some wept, some scolded, and some prayed—I
lifted up one poor old gentlewoman, who had been overturned and sore
bruised by a multitude of feet; and this was also the case with the lame
person from Northumberland, whom Micklewhimmen had in his passage
overthrown, though not with impunity, for the cripple, in falling, gave
him such a good pelt on the head with his crutch, that the blood followed.</p>
<p>As for this lawyer, he waited below till the hurly burly was over, and
then stole softly to his own chamber, from whence he did not venture to
make a second sally till eleven in the forenoon, when he was led into the
Public Room, by his own servant and another assistant, groaning most
woefully, with a bloody napkin round his head. But things were greatly
altered—The selfish brutality of his behaviour on the stairs had
steeled their hearts against all his arts and address—Not a soul
offered to accommodate him with a chair, cushion, or footstool; so that he
was obliged to sit down on a hard bench—In that position, he looked
around with a rueful aspect, and, bowing very low, said in a whining tone,
'Your most humble servant, ladies—Fire is a dreadful calamity'—'Fire
purifies gold, and it ties friendship,' cried Mrs Tabitha, bridling. 'Yea,
madam (replied Micklewhimmen); and it trieth discretion also'—'If
discretion consists in forsaking a friend in adversity, you are eminently
possessed of that virtue' (resumed our aunt).—'Na, madam (rejoined
the advocate), well I wot, I cannot claim any merit from the mode of my
retreat—Ye'll please to observe, ladies, there are twa independent
principles that actuate our nature—One is instinct, which we have in
common with the brute creation, and the other is reason—Noo, in
certain great emergencies, when the faculty of reason is suspended,
instinct taks the lead, and when this predominates, having no affinity
with reason, it pays no sort of regard to its connections; it only
operates for the preservation of the individual, and that by the most
expeditious and effectual means; therefore, begging your pardon, ladies,
I'm no accountable in foro conscientioe for what I did, while under the
influence of this irresistible pooer.'</p>
<p>Here my uncle interposing, 'I should be glad to know (said he), whether it
was instinct that prompted you to retreat with bag and baggage; for, I
think, you had a portmanteau on your shoulder' The lawyer answered,
without hesitation, 'Gif I might tell my mind freely, withoot incuring the
suspicion of presumption, I should think it was something superior to
either reason or instinct which suggested that measure, and this on a
twafold accoont: in the first place, the portmanteau contained the
writings of a worthy nobleman's estate; and their being burnt would have
occasioned a loss that could not be repaired; secondly, my good angel
seems to have laid the portmanteau on my shoulders, by way of defence, to
sustain the violence of a most inhuman blow, from the crutch of a reverend
clergyman, which, even in spite of that medium, hath wounded me sorely,
even unto the pericranium.' 'By your own doctrine (cried the parson, who
chanced to be present), I am not accountable for the blow, which was the
effect of instinct.' 'I crave your pardon, reverend sir (said the other),
instinct never acts but for the preservation of the individual; but your
preservation was out of the case—you had already received the
damage, and therefore the blow must be imputed to revenge, which is a
sinful passion, that ill becomes any Christian, especially a protestant
divine; and let me tell you, most reverend doctor, gin I had a mind to
plea, the law would hauld my libel relevant.' 'Why, the damage is pretty
equal on both sides (cried the parson); your head is broke, and my crutch
is snapt in the middle. Now, if you will repair the one, I will be at the
expence of curing the other.'</p>
<p>This sally raised the laugh against Micklewhimmen, who began to look
grave; when my uncle, in order to change the discourse, observed, that
instinct had been very kind to him in another respect; for it had restored
to him the use of his limbs, which, in his exit, he had moved with
surprising agility.—He replied, that it was the nature of fear to
brace up the nerves; and mentioned some surprising feats of strength and
activity performed by persons under the impulse of terror; but he
complained that in his own particular, the effects had ceased when the
cause was taken away—The 'squire said, he would lay a tea-drinking
on his head, that he should dance a Scotch measure, without making a false
step; and the advocate grinning, called for the piper—A fidler being
at hand, this original started up, with his bloody napkin over his black
tye-periwig, and acquitted himself in such a manner as excited the mirth
of the whole company; but he could not regain the good graces of Mrs
Tabby, who did not understand the principle of instinct; and the lawyer
did not think it worth his while to proceed to further demonstration.</p>
<p>From Harrigate, we came hither, by the way of York, and here we shall
tarry some days, as my uncle and Tabitha are both resolved to make use of
the waters. Scarborough, though a paltry town, is romantic from its
situation along a cliff that over-hangs the sea. The harbour is formed by
a small elbow of land that runs out as a natural mole, directly opposite
to the town; and on that side is the castle, which stands very high, of
considerable extent, and, before the invention of gun-powder, was counted
impregnable. At the other end of Scarborough are two public rooms for the
use of the company, who resort to this place in the summer to drink the
waters and bathe in the sea; and the diversions are pretty much on the
same footing here as at Bath. The Spa is a little way beyond the town, on
this side, under a cliff, within a few paces of the sea, and thither the
drinkers go every morning in dishabille; but the descent is by a great
number of steps, which invalids find very inconvenient. Betwixt the well
and the harbour, the bathing machines are ranged along the beach, with all
their proper utensils and attendants. You have never seen one of these
machines—Image to yourself a small, snug, wooden chamber, fixed upon
a wheel-carriage, having a door at each end, and on each side a little
window above, a bench below—The bather, ascending into this
apartment by wooden steps, shuts himself in, and begins to undress, while
the attendant yokes a horse to the end next the sea, and draws the
carriage forwards, till the surface of the water is on a level with the
floor of the dressing-room, then he moves and fixes the horse to the other
end—The person within being stripped, opens the door to the
sea-ward, where he finds the guide ready, and plunges headlong into the
water—After having bathed, he re-ascends into the apartment, by the
steps which had been shifted for that purpose, and puts on his clothes at
his leisure, while the carriage is drawn back again upon the dry land; so
that he has nothing further to do, but to open the door, and come down as
he went up—Should he be so weak or ill as to require a servant to
put off and on his clothes, there is room enough in the apartment for half
a dozen people. The guides who attend the ladies in the water, are of
their own sex, and they and the female bathers have a dress of flannel for
the sea; nay, they are provided with other conveniences for the support of
decorum. A certain number of the machines are fitted with tilts, that
project from the sea-ward ends of them, so as to screen the bathers from
the view of all persons whatsoever—The beach is admirably adapted
for this practice, the descent being gently gradual, and the sand soft as
velvet; but then the machines can be used only at a certain time of the
tide, which varies every day; so that sometimes the bathers are obliged to
rise very early in the morning—For my part, I love swimming as an
exercise, and can enjoy it at all times of the tide, without the formality
of an apparatus—You and I have often plunged together into the Isis;
but the sea is a much more noble bath, for health as well as pleasure. You
cannot conceive what a flow of spirits it gives, and how it braces every
sinew of the human frame. Were I to enumerate half the diseases which are
every day cured by sea-bathing, you might justly say you had received a
treatise, instead of a letter, from</p>
<p>Your affectionate friend and servant, J. MELFORD SCARBOROUGH, July 1.</p>
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