<p><SPAN name="c37" id="c37"></SPAN> </p>
<p> </p>
<h3>CHAPTER XXXVII</h3>
<h3>The Conspiracy<br/> </h3>
<p>On the morning following the great division Phineas was with his
friend, Lord Cantrip, by eleven o'clock; and Lord Cantrip, when he
had read the two letters in which were comprised the whole
correspondence, made to our unhappy hero the following little speech.
"I do not think that you can do anything. Indeed, I am sure that Mr.
Monk is quite right. I don't quite see what it is that you wish to
do. Privately,—between our two selves,—I do not hesitate to say
that Mr. Bonteen has intended to be ill-natured. I fancy that he is
an ill-natured—or at any rate a jealous—man; and that he would be
willing to run down a competitor in the race who had made his running
after a fashion different from his own. Bonteen has been a useful
man,—a very useful man; and the more so perhaps because he has not
entertained any high political theory of his own. You have chosen to
do so,—and undoubtedly when you and Monk left us, to our very great
regret, you did scuttle the ship."</p>
<p>"We had no intention of that kind."</p>
<p>"Do not suppose that I blame you. That which was odious to the eyes
of Mr. Bonteen was to my thinking high and honourable conduct. I have
known the same thing done by members of a Government perhaps
half-a-dozen times, and the men by whom it has been done have been
the best and noblest of our modern statesmen. There has generally
been a hard contest in the man's breast between loyalty to his party
and strong personal convictions, the result of which has been an
inability on the part of the struggler to give even a silent support
to a measure which he has disapproved. That inability is no doubt
troublesome at the time to the colleagues of the seceder, and
constitutes an offence hardly to be pardoned by such gentlemen as Mr.
Bonteen."</p>
<p>"For Mr. Bonteen personally I care nothing."</p>
<p>"But of course you must endure the ill-effects of his influence,—be
they what they may. When you seceded from our Government you looked
for certain adverse consequences. If you did not, where was your
self-sacrifice? That such men as Mr. Bonteen should feel that you had
scuttled the ship, and be unable to forgive you for doing so,—that
is exactly the evil which you knew you must face. You have to face it
now, and surely you can do so without showing your teeth. Hereafter,
when men more thoughtful than Mr. Bonteen shall have come to
acknowledge the high principle by which your conduct has been
governed, you will receive your reward. I suppose Mr. Daubeny must
resign now."</p>
<p>"Everybody says so."</p>
<p>"I am by no means sure that he will. Any other Minister since Lord
North's time would have done so, with such a majority against him on
a vital measure; but he is a man who delights in striking out some
wonderful course for himself."</p>
<p>"A prime minister so beaten surely can't go on."</p>
<p>"Not for long, one would think. And yet how are you to turn him out?
It depends very much on a man's power of endurance."</p>
<p>"His colleagues will resign, I should think."</p>
<p>"Probably;—and then he must go. I should say that that will be the
way in which the matter will settle itself. Good morning, Finn;—and
take my word for it, you had better not answer Mr. Bonteen's letter."</p>
<p>Not a word had fallen from Lord Cantrip's friendly lips as to the
probability of Phineas being invited to join the future Government.
An attempt had been made to console him with the hazy promise of some
future reward,—which however was to consist rather of the good
opinion of good men than of anything tangible and useful. But even
this would never come to him. What would good men know of him and of
his self-sacrifice when he should have been driven out of the world
by poverty, and forced probably to go to some New Zealand or back
Canadian settlement to look for his bread? How easy, thought Phineas,
must be the sacrifices of rich men, who can stay their time, and wait
in perfect security for their rewards! But for such a one as he,
truth to a principle was political annihilation. Two or three years
ago he had done what he knew to be a noble thing;—and now, because
he had done that noble thing, he was to be regarded as unfit for that
very employment for which he was peculiarly fitted. But Bonteen and
Co. had not been his only enemies. His luck had been against him
throughout. Mr. Quintus Slide, with his <i>People's Banner</i>, and the
story of that wretched affair in Judd Street, had been as strong
against him probably as Mr. Bonteen's ill-word. Then he thought of
Lady Laura, and her love for him. His gratitude to Lady Laura was
boundless. There was nothing he would not do for Lady Laura,—were it
in his power to do anything. But no circumstance in his career had
been so unfortunate for him as this affection. A wretched charge had
been made against him which, though wholly untrue, was as it were so
strangely connected with the truth, that slanderers might not
improbably be able almost to substantiate their calumnies. She would
be in London soon, and he must devote himself to her service. But
every act of friendship that he might do for her would be used as
proof of the accusation that had been made against him. As he thought
of all this he was walking towards Park Lane in order that he might
call upon Madame Goesler according to his promise. As he went up to
the drawing-room he met old Mr. Maule coming down, and the two bowed
to each other on the stairs. In the drawing-room, sitting with Madame
Goesler, he found Mrs. Bonteen. Now Mrs. Bonteen was almost as odious
to him as was her husband.</p>
<p>"Did you ever know anything more shameful, Mr. Finn," said Mrs.
Bonteen, "than the attack made upon Mr. Bonteen the night before
last?" Phineas could see a smile on Madame Goesler's face as the
question was asked;—for she knew, and he knew that she knew, how
great was the antipathy between him and the Bonteens.</p>
<p>"The attack was upon Mr. Gresham, I thought," said Phineas.</p>
<p>"Oh, yes; nominally. But of course everybody knows what was meant.
Upon my word there is twice more jealousy among men than among women.
Is there not, Madame Goesler?"</p>
<p>"I don't think any man could be more jealous than I am myself," said
Madame Goesler.</p>
<p>"Then you're fit to be a member of a Government, that's all. I don't
suppose that there is a man in England has worked harder for his
party than Mr. Bonteen."</p>
<p>"I don't think there is," said Phineas.</p>
<p>"Or made himself more useful in Parliament. As for work, only that
his constitution is so strong, he would have killed himself."</p>
<p>"He should take Thorley's mixture,—twice a day," said Madame
Goesler.</p>
<p>"Take!—he never has time to take anything. He breakfasts in his
dressing-room, carries his lunch in his pocket, and dines with the
division bell ringing him up between his fish and his mutton chop.
Now he has got their decimal coinage in hand, and has not a moment to
himself, even on Sundays!"</p>
<p>"He'll be sure to go to Heaven for it,—that's one comfort."</p>
<p>"And because they are absolutely obliged to make him Chancellor of
the Exchequer,—just as if he had not earned it,—everybody is so
jealous that they are ready to tear him to pieces!"</p>
<p>"Who is everybody?" asked Phineas.</p>
<p>"Oh! I know. It wasn't only Sir Orlando Drought. Who told Sir
Orlando? Never mind, Mr. Finn."</p>
<p>"I don't in the least, Mrs. Bonteen."</p>
<p>"I should have thought you would have been so triumphant," said
Madame Goesler.</p>
<p>"Not in the least, Madame Goesler. Why should I be triumphant? Of
course the position is very high,—very high indeed. But it's no more
than what I have always expected. If a man give up his life to a
pursuit he ought to succeed. As for ambition, I have less of it than
any woman. Only I do hate jealousy, Mr. Finn." Then Mrs. Bonteen took
her leave, kissing her dear friend, Madame Goesler, and simply bowing
to Phineas.</p>
<p>"What a detestable woman!" said Phineas.</p>
<p>"I know of old that you don't love her."</p>
<p>"I don't believe that you love her a bit better than I do, and yet
you kiss her."</p>
<p>"Hardly that, Mr. Finn. There has come up a fashion for ladies to
pretend to be very loving, and so they put their faces together. Two
hundred years ago ladies and gentlemen did the same thing with just
as little regard for each other. Fashions change, you know."</p>
<p>"That was a change for the worse, certainly, Madame Goesler."</p>
<p>"It wasn't of my doing. So you've had a great victory."</p>
<p>"Yes;—greater than we expected."</p>
<p>"According to Mrs. Bonteen, the chief result to the country will be
that the taxes will be so very safe in her husband's hands! I am sure
she believes that all Parliament has been at work in order that he
might be made a Cabinet Minister. I rather like her for it."</p>
<p>"I don't like her, or her husband."</p>
<p>"I do like a woman that can thoroughly enjoy her husband's success.
When she is talking of his carrying about his food in his pocket she
is completely happy. I don't think Lady Glencora ever cared in the
least about her husband being Chancellor of the Exchequer."</p>
<p>"Because it added nothing to her own standing."</p>
<p>"That's very ill-natured, Mr. Finn; and I find that you are becoming
generally ill-natured. You used to be the best-humoured of men."</p>
<p>"I hadn't so much to try my temper as I have now, and then you must
remember, Madame Goesler, that I regard these people as being
especially my enemies."</p>
<p>"Lady Glencora was never your enemy."</p>
<p>"Nor my friend,—especially."</p>
<p>"Then you wrong her. If I tell you something you must be discreet."</p>
<p>"Am I not always discreet?"</p>
<p>"She does not love Mr. Bonteen. She has had too much of him at
Matching. And as for his wife, she is quite as unwilling to be kissed
by her as you can be. Her Grace is determined to fight your battle
for you."</p>
<p>"I want her to do nothing of the kind, Madame Goesler."</p>
<p>"You will know nothing about it. We have put our heads to work, and
Mr. Palliser,—that is, the new Duke,—is to be made to tell Mr.
Gresham that you are to have a place. It is no good you being angry,
for the thing is done. If you have enemies behind your back, you must
have friends behind your back also. Lady Cantrip is to do the same
thing."</p>
<p>"For Heaven's sake, not."</p>
<p>"It's all arranged. You'll be called the ladies' pet, but you mustn't
mind that. Lady Laura will be here before it's arranged, and she will
get hold of Mr. Erle."</p>
<p>"You are laughing at me, I know."</p>
<p>"Let them laugh that win. We thought of besieging Lord Fawn through
Lady Chiltern, but we are not sure that anybody cares for Lord Fawn.
The man we specially want now is the other Duke. We're afraid of
attacking him through the Duchess because we think that he is
inhumanly indifferent to anything that his wife says to him."</p>
<p>"If that kind of thing is done I shall not accept place even if it is
offered me."</p>
<p>"Why not? Are you going to let a man like Mr. Bonteen bowl you over?
Did you ever know Lady Glen fail in anything that she attempted? She
is preparing a secret with the express object of making Mr. Ratler
her confidant. Lord Mount Thistle is her slave, but then I fear Lord
Mount Thistle is not of much use. She'll do anything and
everything,—except flatter Mr. Bonteen."</p>
<p>"Heaven forbid that anybody should do that for my sake."</p>
<p>"The truth is that he made himself so disagreeable at Matching that
Lady Glen is broken-hearted at finding that he is to seem to owe his
promotion to her husband's favour. Now you know all about it."</p>
<p>"You have been very wrong to tell me."</p>
<p>"Perhaps I have, Mr. Finn. But I thought it better that you should
know that you have friends at work for you. We believe,—or rather,
the Duchess believes,—that falsehoods have been used which are as
disparaging to Lady Laura Kennedy as they are injurious to you, and
she is determined to put it right. Some one has told Mr. Gresham that
you have been the means of breaking the hearts both of Lord Brentford
and Mr. Kennedy,—two members of the late Cabinet,—and he must be
made to understand that this is untrue. If only for Lady Laura's sake
you must submit."</p>
<p>"Lord Brentford and I are the best friends in the world."</p>
<p>"And Mr. Kennedy is a madman,—absolutely in custody of his friends,
as everybody knows; and yet the story has been made to work."</p>
<p>"And you do not feel that all this is derogatory to me?"</p>
<p>Madame Goesler was silent for a moment, and then she answered boldly,
"Not a whit. Why should it be derogatory? It is not done with the
object of obtaining an improper appointment on behalf of an
unimportant man. When falsehoods of that kind are told you can't meet
them in a straightforward way. I suppose I know with fair accuracy
the sort of connection there has been between you and Lady Laura."
Phineas very much doubted whether she had any such knowledge; but he
said nothing, though the lady paused a few moments for reply. "You
can't go and tell Mr. Gresham all that; nor can any friend do so on
your behalf. It would be absurd."</p>
<p>"Most absurd."</p>
<p>"And yet it is essential to your interests that he should know it.
When your enemies are undermining you, you must countermine or you'll
be blown up."</p>
<p>"I'd rather fight above ground."</p>
<p>"That's all very well, but your enemies won't stay above ground. Is
that newspaper man above ground? And for a little job of clever
mining, believe me, that there is not a better engineer going than
Lady Glen;—not but what I've known her to be very nearly 'hoist with
her own petard,'"—added Madame Goesler, as she remembered a certain
circumstance in their joint lives.</p>
<p>All that Madame Goesler said was true. A conspiracy had been formed,
in the first place at the instance of Madame Goesler, but altogether
by the influence of the young Duchess, for forcing upon the future
Premier the necessity of admitting Phineas Finn into his Government.
On the Wednesday following the conclusion of the debate,—the day on
the morning of which the division was to take place,—there was no
House. On the Thursday, the last day on which the House was to sit
before the Easter holidays, Mr. Daubeny announced his intention of
postponing the declaration of his intentions till after the
adjournment. The House would meet, he said, on that day week, and
then he would make his official statement. This communication he made
very curtly, and in a manner that was thought by some to be almost
insolent to the House. It was known that he had been grievously
disappointed by the result of the debate,—not probably having
expected a majority since his adversary's strategy had been declared,
but always hoping that the deserters from his own standard would be
very few. The deserters had been very many, and Mr. Daubeny was
majestic in his wrath.</p>
<p>Nothing, however, could be done till after Easter. The Ratlers of the
Liberal party were very angry at the delay, declaring that it would
have been much to the advantage of the country at large that the
vacation week should have been used for constructing a Liberal
Cabinet. This work of construction always takes time, and delays the
business of the country. No one can have known better than did Mr.
Daubeny how great was the injury of delay, and how advantageously the
short holiday might have been used. With a majority of seventy-two
against him, there could be no reason why he should not have at once
resigned, and advised the Queen to send for Mr. Gresham. Nothing
could be worse than his conduct. So said the Liberals, thirsting for
office. Mr. Gresham himself did not open his mouth when the
announcement was made;—nor did any man, marked for future office,
rise to denounce the beaten statesman. But one or two independent
Members expressed their great regret at the unnecessary delay which
was to take place before they were informed who was to be the
Minister of the Crown. But Mr. Daubeny, as soon as he had made his
statement, stalked out of the House, and no reply whatever was made
to the independent Members. Some few sublime and hot-headed gentlemen
muttered the word "impeachment." Others, who were more practical and
less dignified, suggested that the Prime Minister "ought to have his
head punched."</p>
<p>It thus happened that all the world went out of town that week,—so
that the Duchess of Omnium was down at Matching when Phineas called
at the Duke's house in Carlton Terrace on Friday. With what object he
had called he hardly knew himself; but he thought that he intended to
assure the Duchess that he was not a candidate for office, and that
he must deprecate her interference. Luckily,—or unluckily,—he did
not see her, and he felt that it would be impossible to convey his
wishes in a letter. The whole subject was one which would have defied
him to find words sufficiently discreet for his object.</p>
<p>The Duke and Duchess of St. Bungay were at Matching for the
Easter,—as also was Barrington Erle, and also that dreadful Mr.
Bonteen, from whose presence the poor Duchess of Omnium could in
these days never altogether deliver herself. "Duke," she said, "you
know Mr. Finn?"</p>
<p>"Certainly. It was not very long ago that I was talking to him."</p>
<p>"He used to be in office, you remember."</p>
<p>"Oh yes;—and a very good beginner he was. Is he a friend of Your
Grace's?"</p>
<p>"A great friend. I'll tell you what I want you to do. You must have
some place found for him."</p>
<p>"My dear Duchess, I never interfere."</p>
<p>"Why, Duke, you've made more Cabinets than any man living."</p>
<p>"I fear, indeed, that I have been at the construction of more
Governments than most men. It's forty years ago since Lord Melbourne
first did me the honour of consulting me. When asked for advice, my
dear, I have very often given it. It has occasionally been my duty to
say that I could not myself give my slender assistance to a Ministry
unless I were supported by the presence of this or that political
friend. But never in my life have I asked for an appointment as a
personal favour; and I am sure you won't be angry with me if I say
that I cannot begin to do so now."</p>
<p>"But Mr. Finn ought to be there. He did so well before."</p>
<p>"If so, let us presume that he will be there. I can only say, from
what little I know of him, that I shall be happy to see him in any
office to which the future Prime Minister may consider it to be his
duty to appoint him." "To think," said the Duchess of Omnium
afterwards to her friend Madame Goesler,—"to think that I should
have had that stupid old woman a week in the house, and all for
nothing!"</p>
<p>"Upon my word, Duchess," said Barrington Erle, "I don't know why it
is, but Gresham seems to have taken a dislike to him."</p>
<p>"It's Bonteen's doing."</p>
<p>"Very probably."</p>
<p>"Surely you can get the better of that?"</p>
<p>"I look upon Phineas Finn, Duchess, almost as a child of my own. He
has come back to Parliament altogether at my instigation."</p>
<p>"Then you ought to help him."</p>
<p>"And so I would if I could. Remember I am not the man I used to be
when dear old Mr. Mildmay reigned. The truth is, I never interfere
now unless I'm asked."</p>
<p>"I believe that every one of you is afraid of Mr. Gresham."</p>
<p>"Perhaps we are."</p>
<p>"I'll tell you what. If he's passed over I'll make such a row that
some of you shall hear it."</p>
<p>"How fond all you women are of Phineas Finn."</p>
<p>"I don't care that for him," said the Duchess, snapping her
fingers—"more than I do, that is, for any other mere acquaintance.
The man is very well, as most men are."</p>
<p>"Not all."</p>
<p>"No, not all. Some are as little and jealous as a girl in her tenth
season. He is a decently good fellow, and he is to be thrown over,
because—"</p>
<p>"Because of what?"</p>
<p>"I don't choose to name any one. You ought to know all about it, and
I do not doubt but you do. Lady Laura Kennedy is your own cousin."</p>
<p>"There is not a spark of truth in all that."</p>
<p>"Of course there is not; and yet he is to be punished. I know very
well, Mr. Erle, that if you choose to put your shoulder to the wheel
you can manage it; and I shall expect to have it managed."</p>
<p>"Plantagenet," she said the next day to her husband, "I want you to
do something for me."</p>
<p>"To do something! What am I to do? It's very seldom you want anything
in my line."</p>
<p>"This isn't in your line at all, and yet I want you to do it."</p>
<p>"Ten to one it's beyond my means."</p>
<p>"No, it isn't. I know you can if you like. I suppose you are all sure
to be in office within ten days or a fortnight?"</p>
<p>"I can't say, my dear. I have promised Mr. Gresham to be of use to
him if I can."</p>
<p>"Everybody knows all that. You're going to be Privy Seal, and to work
just the same as ever at those horrible two farthings."</p>
<p>"And what is it you want, Glencora?"</p>
<p>"I want you to say that you won't take any office unless you are
allowed to bring in one or two friends with you."</p>
<p>"Why should I do that? I shall not doubt any Cabinet chosen by Mr.
Gresham."</p>
<p>"I'm not speaking of the Cabinet; I allude to men in lower offices,
lords, and Under-Secretaries, and Vice-people. You know what I mean."</p>
<p>"I never interfere."</p>
<p>"But you must. Other men do continually. It's quite a common thing
for a man to insist that one or two others should come in with him."</p>
<p>"Yes. If a man feels that he cannot sustain his own position without
support, he declines to join the Government without it. But that
isn't my case. The friends who are necessary to me in the Cabinet are
the very men who will certainly be there. I would join no Government
without the Duke; but—"</p>
<p>"Oh, the Duke—the Duke! I hate dukes—and duchesses too. I'm not
talking about a duke. I want you to oblige me by making a point with
Mr. Gresham that Mr. Finn shall have an office."</p>
<p>"Mr. Finn!"</p>
<p>"Yes, Mr. Finn. I'll explain it all if you wish it."</p>
<p>"My dear Glencora, I never interfere."</p>
<p>"Who does interfere? Everybody says the same. Somebody interferes, I
suppose. Mr. Gresham can't know everybody so well as to be able to
fit all the pegs into all the holes without saying a word to
anybody."</p>
<p>"He would probably speak to Mr. Bonteen."</p>
<p>"Then he would speak to a very disagreeable man, and one I'm as sick
of as I ever was of any man I ever knew. If you can't manage this for
me, Plantagenet, I shall take it very ill. It's a little thing, and
I'm sure you could have it done. I don't very often trouble you by
asking for anything."</p>
<p>The Duke in his quiet way was an affectionate man, and an indulgent
husband. On the following morning he was closeted with Mr. Bonteen,
two private Secretaries, and a leading clerk from the Treasury for
four hours, during which they were endeavouring to ascertain whether
the commercial world of Great Britain would be ruined or enriched if
twelve pennies were declared to contain fifty farthings. The
discussion had been grievously burdensome to the minds of the Duke's
assistants in it, but he himself had remembered his wife through it
all. "By the way," he said, whispering into Mr. Bonteen's private ear
as he led that gentleman away to lunch, "if we do come in—"</p>
<p>"Oh, we must come in."</p>
<p>"If we do, I suppose something will be done for that Mr. Finn. He
spoke well the other night."</p>
<p>Mr. Bonteen's face became very long. "He helped to upset the coach
when he was with us before."</p>
<p>"I don't think that that is much against him."</p>
<p>"Is he—a personal friend of Your Grace's?"</p>
<p>"No—not particularly. I never care about such things for myself; but
Lady Glencora—"</p>
<p>"I think the Duchess can hardly know what has been his conduct to
poor Kennedy. There was a most disreputable row at a public-house in
London, and I am told that he behaved—very badly."</p>
<p>"I never heard a word about it," said the Duke.</p>
<p>"I'll tell you just the truth," said Mr. Bonteen. "I've been asked
about him, and I've been obliged to say that he would weaken any
Government that would give him office."</p>
<p>"Oh, indeed!"</p>
<p>That evening the Duke told the Duchess nearly all that he had heard,
and the Duchess swore that she wasn't going to be beaten by Mr.
Bonteen.</p>
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