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<h2> CHAPTER XVI </h2>
<p>There's a lot of counties in Georgia where the blacks are equal in number
to the whites, and two or three counties where the blacks number over the
whites by two to one. It was fur a little town in one of the latter that
we pinted ourselves, Doctor Kirby and me and Sam—right into the
blackest part of the black belt.</p>
<p>That country is full of big-sized plantations, where they raise cotton,
cotton, cotton, and then MORE cotton. Some of 'em raises fruit, too, and
other things, of course; but cotton is the main stand-by, and it looks
like it always will be.</p>
<p>Some places there shows that things can't be so awful much changed since
slavery days, and most of the niggers are sure enough country niggers yet.
Some rents their land right out from the owners, and some of 'em crops it
on the shares, and very many of 'em jest works as hands. A lot of 'em
don't do nigh so well now as they did when their bosses was their masters,
they tell me; and then agin, some has done right well on their own hook.
They intrusted me, because I never had been use to looking at so many
niggers. Every way you turn there they is niggers and then more niggers.</p>
<p>Them that thinks they is awful easy to handle out of a natcheral respect
fur white folks has got another guess coming. They ain't so bad to get
along with if you keep it most pintedly shoved into their heads they IS
niggers. You got to do that especial in the black belt, jest because they
IS so many of 'em. They is children all their lives, mebby, till some one
minute of craziness may strike one of them, and then he is a devil
temporary. Mebby, when the crazy fit has passed, some white woman is worse
off than if she was dead, or mebby she IS dead, or mebby a loonatic fur
life, and that nigger is a candidate fur a lynching bee and ginerally
elected by an anonymous majority.</p>
<p>Not that ALL niggers is that-a-way, nor HALF of 'em, nor very MANY of 'em,
even—but you can never tell WHICH nigger is going to be. So in the
black belt the white folks is mighty pertic'ler who comes along fooling
with their niggers. Fur you can never tell what turn a nigger's thoughts
will take, once anything at all stirs 'em up.</p>
<p>We didn't know them things then, Doctor Kirby and me didn't. We didn't
know we was moving light-hearted right into the middle of the biggest
question that has ever been ast. Which I disremember exactly how that
nigger question is worded, but they is always asting it in the South, and
answering of it different ways. We hadn't no idea how suspicious the white
people in them awful black spots on the map can get over any one that
comes along talking to their niggers. We didn't know anything about
niggers much, being both from the North, except what Doctor Kirby had
counted on when he made his medicine, and THAT he knowed second-handed
from other people. We didn't take 'em very serious, nor all the talk we
hearn about 'em down South.</p>
<p>But even at that we mightn't of got into any trouble if it hadn't of been
fur old Bishop Warren. But that is getting ahead of the story.</p>
<p>We got into that little town—I might jest as well call it
Cottonville—jest about supper time. Cottonville is a little place of
not more'n six hundred people. I guess four hundred of 'em must be
niggers.</p>
<p>After supper we got acquainted with purty nigh all the prominent citizens
in town. They was friendly with us, and we was friendly with them. Georgia
had jest went fur prohibition a few months before that, and they hadn't
opened up these here near-beer bar-rooms in the little towns yet, like
they had in Atlanta and the big towns. Georgia had went prohibition so the
niggers couldn't get whiskey, some said; but others said they didn't know
WHAT its excuse was. Them prominent citizens was loafing around the hotel
and every now and then inviting each other very mysterious into a back
room that use to be a pool parlour. They had been several jugs come to
town by express that day. We went back several times ourselves, and soon
began to get along purty well with them prominent citizens.</p>
<p>Talking about this and that they finally edges around to the one thing
everybody is sure to get to talking about sooner or later in the South—niggers.
And then they gets to telling us about this here Bishop Warren I has
mentioned.</p>
<p>He was a nigger bishop, Bishop Warren was, and had a good deal of white
blood into him, they say. An ashy-coloured nigger, with bumps on his face,
fat as a possum, and as cunning as a fox. He had plenty of brains into his
head, too; but his brains had turned sour in his head the last few years,
and the bishop had crazy streaks running through his sense now, like fat
and lean mixed in a slab of bacon. He used to be friends with a lot of big
white folks, and the whites depended on him at one time to preach
orderliness and obedience and agriculture and being in their place to the
niggers. Fur years they thought he preached that-a-way. He always DID
preach that-a-way when any whites was around, and he set on platforms
sometimes with white preachers, and he got good donations fur schemes of
different kinds. But gradual the suspicion got around that when he was
alone with a lot of niggers his nigger blood would get the best of him,
and what he preached wasn't white supremacy at all, but hopefulness of
being equal.</p>
<p>So the whites had fell away from him, and then his graft was gone, and
then his brains turned sour in his head and got to working and fermenting
in it like cider getting hard, and he made a few bad breaks by not being
careful what he said before white people. But the niggers liked him all
the better fur that.</p>
<p>They always had been more or less hell in the bishop's heart. He had
brains and he knowed it, and the white folks had let him see THEY knowed
it, too. And he was part white, and his white forefathers had been big men
in their day, and yet, in spite of all of that, he had to herd with
niggers and to pertend he liked it. He was both white and black in his
feelings about things, so some of his feelings counterdicted others, and
one of these here race riots went on all the time in his own insides. But
gradual he got to the place where they was spells he hated both whites and
niggers, but he hated the whites the worst. And now, in the last two or
three years, since his crazy streaks had growed as big as his sensible
streaks, or bigger, they was no telling what he would preach to them
niggers. But whatever he preached most of them would believe. It might be
something crazy and harmless, or it might be crazy and harmful.</p>
<p>He had been holding some revival meetings in nigger churches right there
in that very county, and was at it not fur away from there right then. The
idea had got around he was preaching some most unusual foolishness to the
blacks. Fur the niggers was all acting like they knowed something too good
to mention to the white folks, all about there. But some white men had
gone to one of the meetings, and the bishop had preached one of his
old-time sermons whilst they was there, telling the niggers to be orderly
and agriculturous—he was considerable of a fox yet. But he and the
rest of the niggers was so DERNED anxious to be thought agriculturous and
servitudinous that the whites smelt a rat, and wished he would go, fur
they didn't want to chase him without they had to.</p>
<p>Jest when we was getting along fine one of them prominent citizens asts
the doctor was we there figgering on buying some land?</p>
<p>"No," says the doctor, "we wasn't."</p>
<p>They was silence fur quite a little spell. Each prominent citizen had
mebby had his hopes of unloading some. They all looks a little sad, and
then another prominent citizen asts us into the back room agin.</p>
<p>When we returns to the front room another prominent citizen makes a little
speech that was quite beautiful to hear, and says mebby we represents some
new concern that ain't never been in them parts and is figgering on buying
cotton.</p>
<p>"No," the doctor says, "we ain't cotton buyers."</p>
<p>Another prominent citizen has the idea mebby we is figgering on one of
these here inter-Reuben trolley lines, so the Rubes in one village can
ride over and visit the Rubes in the next. And another one thinks mebby we
is figgering on a telephone line. And each one makes a very eloquent
little speech about them things, and rings in something about our fair
Southland. And when both of them misses their guess it is time fur another
visit to the back room.</p>
<p>Was we selling something?</p>
<p>We was.</p>
<p>Was we selling fruit trees?</p>
<p>We wasn't.</p>
<p>Finally, after every one has a chew of natcheral leaf tobaccer all around,
one prominent citizen makes so bold as to ast us very courteous if he
might enquire what it was we was selling.</p>
<p>The doctor says medicine.</p>
<p>Then they was a slow grin went around that there crowd of prominent
citizens. And once agin we has to make a trip to that back room. Fur they
are all sure we must be taking orders fur something to beat that there
prohibition game. When they misses that guess they all gets kind of
thoughtful and sad. A couple of 'em don't take no more interest in us, but
goes along home sighing-like, as if it wasn't no difference WHAT we sold
as long as it wasn't what they was looking fur.</p>
<p>But purty soon one of them asts:</p>
<p>"What KIND of medicine?"</p>
<p>The doctor, he tells about it.</p>
<p>When he finishes you never seen such a change as had come onto the faces
of that bunch. I never seen such disgusted prominent citizens in my hull
life. They looked at each other embarrassed, like they had been ketched at
something ornery. And they went out one at a time, saying good night to
the hotel-keeper and in the most pinted way taking no notice of us at all.
It certainly was a chill. We sees something is wrong, and we begins to
have a notion of what it is.</p>
<p>The hotel-keeper, he spits out his chew, and goes behind his little
counter and takes a five-cent cigar out of his little show case and bites
the end off careful. Then he leans his elbows onto his counter and reads
our names to himself out of the register book, and looks at us, and from
us to the names, and from the names to us, like he is trying to figger out
how he come to let us write 'em there. Then he wants to know where we come
from before we come to Atlanta, where we had registered from. We tells him
we is from the North. He lights his cigar like he didn't think much of
that cigar and sticks it in his mouth and looks at us so long in an
absent-minded kind of way it goes out.</p>
<p>Then he says we orter go back North.</p>
<p>"Why?" asts the doctor.</p>
<p>He chewed his cigar purty nigh up to the middle of it before he answered,
and when he spoke it was a soft kind of a drawl—not mad or loud—but
like they was sorrowful thoughts working in him.</p>
<p>"Yo' all done struck the wo'st paht o' the South to peddle yo' niggah
medicine in, sah. I reckon yo' must love 'em a heap to be that concerned
over the colour of their skins."</p>
<p>And he turned his back on us and went into the back room all by himself.</p>
<p>We seen we was in wrong in that town. The doctor says it will be no use
trying to interduce our stuff there, and we might as well leave there in
the morning and go over to Bairdstown, which was a little place about ten
miles off the railroad, and make our start there.</p>
<p>So we got a rig the next morning and drove acrost the country. No one bid
us good-bye, neither, and Doctor Kirby says it's a wonder they rented us
the rig.</p>
<p>But before we started that morning we noticed a funny thing. We hadn't so
much as spoke to any nigger, except our own nigger Sam, and he couldn't of
told ALL the niggers in that town about the stuff to turn niggers white,
even if he had set up all night to do it. But every last nigger we saw
looked like he knowed something about us. Even after we left town our
nigger driver hailed two or three niggers in the road that acted
that-away. It seemed like they was all awful polite to us. And yet they
was different in their politeness than they was to them Georgia folks,
which is their natcheral-born bosses—acted more familiar, somehow,
as if they knowed we must be thinking about the same thing they was
thinking about.</p>
<p>About half-way to Bairdstown we stopped at a place to get a drink of
water. Seemingly the white folks was away fur the day, and an old nigger
come up and talked to our driver while Sam and us was at the well.</p>
<p>I seen them cutting their eyes at us, whilst they was unchecking the
hosses to let them drink too, and then I hearn the one that belonged there
say:</p>
<p>"Is yo' SUAH dat hit air dem?"</p>
<p>"SUAH!" says the driver.</p>
<p>"How-come yo' so all-powerful SUAH about hit?"</p>
<p>The driver pertended the harness needed some fixing, and they went around
to the other side of the team and tinkered with one of the traces,
a-talking to each other. I hearn the old nigger say, kind of wonderized:</p>
<p>"Is dey a-gwine dar NOW?"</p>
<p>Sam, he was pulling a bucket of water up out of the well fur us with a
windlass. The doctor says to him:</p>
<p>"Sam, what does all this mean?"</p>
<p>Sam, he pertends he don't know what the doctor is talking about. But
Doctor Kirby he finally pins him down. Sam hemmed and hawed considerable,
making up his mind whether he better lie to us or not. Then, all of a
sudden, he busted out into an awful fit of laughing, and like to of fell
in the well. Seemingly he decided fur to tell us the truth.</p>
<p>From what Sam says that there bishop has been holding revival meetings in
Big Bethel, which is a nigger church right on the edge of Bairdstown, and
niggers fur miles around has been coming night after night, and some of
them whooping her up daytimes too. And the bishop has worked himself up
the last three or four nights to where he has been perdicting and
prophesying, fur the spirit has hit the meeting hard.</p>
<p>What he has been prophesying, Sam says, is the coming of a Messiah fur the
nigger race—a new Elishyah, he says, as will lead them from out'n
their inequality and bring 'em up to white standards right on the spot.
The whites has had their Messiah, the bishop says, but the niggers ain't
never had none of their SPECIAL OWN yet. And they needs one bad, and one
is sure a-coming.</p>
<p>It seems the whites don't know yet jest what the bishop's been
a-preaching. But every nigger fur miles on every side of Big Bethel is
a-listening and a-looking fur signs and omens, and has been fur two, three
days now. This here half-crazy bishop has got 'em worked up to where they
is ready to believe anything, or do anything.</p>
<p>So the night before when the word got out in Cottonville that we had some
scheme to make the niggers white, the niggers there took up with the idea
that the doctor was mebby the feller the bishop had been prophesying
about, and for a sign and a omen and a miracle of his grace and powers was
going out to Big Bethel to turn 'em white. Poor devils, they didn't see
but what being turned white orter be a part of what they was to get from
the coming of that there Messiah.</p>
<p>News spreads among niggers quicker than among whites. No one knows how
they do it. But I've hearn tales about how when war times was there, they
would frequent have the news of a big fight before the white folks' papers
would. Soldiers has told me that in them there Philippine Islands we
conquered from Spain, where they is so much nigger blood mixed up with
other kinds in the islanders, this mysterious spreading around of news is
jest the same. And jest since nine o'clock the night before, the news had
spread fur miles around that Bishop Warren's Messiah was on his way, and
was going fur to turn the bishop white to show his power and grace, and he
had with him one he had turned part white, and that was Sam, and one he
had turned clear white, and that was me. And they was to be signs and
wonders to behold at Big Bethel, with pillars of cloud and sounds of
trumpets and fire squirting down from heaven, like it always use to be in
them old Bible days, and them there niggers to be led singing and shouting
and rejoicing into a land of milk and honey, forevermore, AMEN!</p>
<p>That's what Sam says they are looking fur, dozens and scores and hundreds
of them niggers round about. Sam, he had lived in town five or six years,
and he looked down on all these here ignoramus country niggers. So he
busts out laughing at first, and he pertends like he don't take no stock
in any of it. Besides, he knowed well enough he wasn't spotted up by no
Messiah, but it was the dope in the bottles done it. But as he told about
them goings-on Sam got more and more interested and warmed up to it, and
his voice went into a kind of a sing-song like he was prophesying himself.
And the other two niggers quit pertending to fool around the team and
edged a little closeter, and a little closeter yet, with their mouths open
and their heads a-nodding and the whites of their eyes a-rolling.</p>
<p>Fur my part, I never hearn such a lot of dern foolishness in all my life.
But the doctor, he says nothing at all. He listens to Sam ranting and
rolling out big words and raving, and only frowns. He climbs back into the
buggy agin silent, and all the rest of the way to Bairdstown he set there
with that scowl on his face. I guesses he was thinking now, the way things
had shaped up, he wouldn't sell none of his stuff at all without he fell
right in with the reception chance had planned fur him. But if he did fall
in with it, and pertend like he was a Messiah to them niggers, he could
get all they had. He was mebby thinking how much ornerier that would make
the hull scheme.</p>
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