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<h2> CHAPTER LXVII </h2>
<h3> LORNA STILL IS LORNA </h3>
<p>Although a man may be as simple as the flowers of the field; knowing when,
but scarcely why, he closes to the bitter wind; and feeling why, but
scarcely when, he opens to the genial sun; yet without his questing much
into the capsule of himself—to do which is a misery—he may
have a general notion how he happens to be getting on.</p>
<p>I felt myself to be getting on better than at any time since the last
wheat-harvest, as I took the lane to Kensington upon the Monday evening.
For although no time was given in my Lorna's letter, I was not inclined to
wait more than decency required. And though I went and watched the house,
decency would not allow me to knock on the Sunday evening, especially when
I found at the corner that his lordship was at home.</p>
<p>The lanes and fields between Charing Cross and the village of Kensington,
are, or were at that time, more than reasonably infested with footpads and
with highwaymen. However, my stature and holly club kept these fellows
from doing more than casting sheep's eyes at me. For it was still broad
daylight, and the view of the distant villages, Chelsea, Battersea,
Tyburn, and others, as well as a few large houses, among the hams and
towards the river, made it seem less lonely. Therefore I sang a song in
the broadest Exmoor dialect, which caused no little amazement in the minds
of all who met me.</p>
<p>When I came to Earl Brandir's house, my natural modesty forbade me to
appear at the door for guests; therefore I went to the entrance for
servants and retainers. Here, to my great surprise, who should come and
let me in but little Gwenny Carfax, whose very existence had almost
escaped my recollection. Her mistress, no doubt, had seen me coming, and
sent her to save trouble. But when I offered to kiss Gwenny, in my joy and
comfort to see a farm-house face again, she looked ashamed, and turned
away, and would hardly speak to me.</p>
<p>I followed her to a little room, furnished very daintily; and there she
ordered me to wait, in a most ungracious manner. 'Well,' thought I, 'if
the mistress and the maid are alike in temper, better it had been for me
to abide at Master Ramsack's.' But almost ere my thought was done, I heard
the light quick step which I knew as well as 'Watch,' my dog, knew mine;
and my breast began to tremble, like the trembling of an arch ere the
keystone is put in.</p>
<p>Almost ere I hoped—for fear and hope were so entangled that they
hindered one another—the velvet hangings of the doorway parted, with
a little doubt, and then a good face put on it. Lorna, in her perfect
beauty, stood before the crimson folds, and her dress was all pure white,
and her cheeks were rosy pink, and her lips were scarlet.</p>
<p>Like a maiden, with skill and sense checking violent impulse, she stayed
there for one moment only, just to be admired; and then like a woman, she
came to me, seeing how alarmed I was. The hand she offered me I took, and
raised it to my lips with fear, as a thing too good for me. 'Is that all?'
she whispered; and then her eyes gleamed up at me; and in another instant,
she was weeping on my breast.</p>
<p>'Darling Lorna, Lady Lorna,' I cried, in astonishment, yet unable but to
keep her closer to me, and closer; 'surely, though I love you so, this is
not as it should be.'</p>
<p>'Yes, it is, John. Yes, it is. Nothing else should ever be. Oh, why have
you behaved so?'</p>
<p>'I am behaving.' I replied, 'to the very best of my ability. There is no
other man in the world could hold you so, without kissing you.'</p>
<p>'Then why don't you do it, John?' asked Lorna, looking up at me, with a
flash of her old fun.</p>
<p>Now this matter, proverbially, is not for discussion, and repetition.
Enough that we said nothing more than, 'Oh, John, how glad I am!' and
'Lorna, Lorna Lorna!' for about five minutes. Then my darling drew back
proudly, with blushing cheeks, and tear-bright eyes, she began to
cross-examine me.</p>
<p>'Master John Ridd, you shall tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth. I have been in Chancery, sir; and can detect a story. Now
why have you never, for more than a twelvemonth, taken the smallest notice
of your old friend, Mistress Lorna Doone?' Although she spoke in this
lightsome manner, as if it made no difference, I saw that her quick heart
was moving, and the flash of her eyes controlled.</p>
<p>'Simply for this cause, I answered, 'that my old friend and true love,
took not the smallest heed of me. Nor knew I where to find her.'</p>
<p>'What!' cried Lorna; and nothing more; being overcome with wondering; and
much inclined to fall away, but for my assistance. I told her, over and
over again, that not a single syllable of any message from her, or tidings
of her welfare, had reached me, or any one of us, since the letter she
left behind; except by soldier's gossip.</p>
<p>'Oh, you poor dear John!' said Lorna, sighing at thought of my misery:
'how wonderfully good of you, thinking of me as you must have done, not to
marry that little plain thing (or perhaps I should say that lovely
creature, for I have never seen her), Mistress Ruth—I forget her
name; but something like a towel.'</p>
<p>'Ruth Huckaback is a worthy maid,' I answered with some dignity; 'and she
alone of all our world, except indeed poor Annie, has kept her confidence
in you, and told me not to dread your rank, but trust your heart, Lady
Lorna.'</p>
<p>'Then Ruth is my best friend,' she answered, 'and is worthy of you, dear
John. And now remember one thing, dear; if God should part us, as may be
by nothing short of death, try to marry that little Ruth, when you cease
to remember me. And now for the head-traitor. I have often suspected it:
but she looks me in the face, and wishes—fearful things, which I
cannot repeat.'</p>
<p>With these words, she moved an implement such as I had not seen before,
and which made a ringing noise at a serious distance. And before I had
ceased wondering—for if such things go on, we might ring the church
bells, while sitting in our back-kitchen—little Gwenny Carfax came,
with a grave and sullen face.</p>
<p>'Gwenny,' began my Lorna, in a tone of high rank and dignity, 'go and
fetch the letters which I gave you at various times for despatch to
Mistress Ridd.'</p>
<p>'How can I fetch them, when they are gone? It be no use for him to tell no
lies—'</p>
<p>'Now, Gwenny, can you look at me?' I asked, very sternly; for the matter
was no joke to me, after a year's unhappiness.</p>
<p>'I don't want to look at 'ee. What should I look at a young man for,
although he did offer to kiss me?'</p>
<p>I saw the spite and impudence of this last remark, and so did Lorna,
although she could not quite refrain from smiling.</p>
<p>'Now, Gwenny, not to speak of that,' said Lorna, very demurely, 'if you
thought it honest to keep the letters, was it honest to keep the money?'</p>
<p>At this the Cornish maiden broke into a rage of honesty: 'A putt the money
by for 'ee. 'Ee shall have every farden of it.' And so she flung out of
the room.</p>
<p>'And, Gwenny,' said Lorna very softly, following under the door-hangings;
'if it is not honest to keep the money, it is not honest to keep the
letters, which would have been worth more than any gold to those who were
so kind to you. Your father shall know the whole, Gwenny, unless you tell
the truth.'</p>
<p>'Now, a will tell all the truth,' this strange maiden answered, talking to
herself at least as much as to her mistress, while she went out of sight
and hearing. And then I was so glad at having my own Lorna once again,
cleared of all contempt for us, and true to me through all of it, that I
would have forgiven Gwenny for treason, or even forgery.</p>
<p>'I trusted her so much,' said Lorna, in her old ill-fortuned way; 'and
look how she has deceived me! That is why I love you, John (setting other
things aside), because you never told me falsehood; and you never could,
you know.'</p>
<p>'Well, I am not so sure of that. I think I could tell any lie, to have
you, darling, all my own.'</p>
<p>'Yes. And perhaps it might be right. To other people besides us two. But
you could not do it to me, John. You never could do it to me, you know.'</p>
<p>Before I quite perceived my way to the bottom of the distinction—although
beyond doubt a valid one—Gwenny came back with a leathern bag, and
tossed it upon the table. Not a word did she vouchsafe to us; but stood
there, looking injured.</p>
<p>'Go, and get your letters, John,' said Lorna very gravely; 'or at least
your mother's letters, made of messages to you. As for Gwenny, she shall
go before Lord Justice Jeffreys.' I knew that Lorna meant it not; but
thought that the girl deserved a frightening; as indeed she did. But we
both mistook the courage of this child of Cornwall. She stepped upon a
little round thing, in the nature of a stool, such as I never had seen
before, and thus delivered her sentiments.</p>
<p>'And you may take me, if you please, before the great Lord Jeffreys. I
have done no more than duty, though I did it crookedly, and told a heap of
lies, for your sake. And pretty gratitude I gets.'</p>
<p>'Much gratitude you have shown,' replied Lorna, 'to Master Ridd, for all
his kindness and his goodness to you. Who was it that went down, at the
peril of his life, and brought your father to you, when you had lost him
for months and months? Who was it? Answer me, Gwenny?'</p>
<p>'Girt Jan Ridd,' said the handmaid, very sulkily.</p>
<p>'What made you treat me so, little Gwenny?' I asked, for Lorna would not
ask lest the reply should vex me.</p>
<p>'Because 'ee be'est below her so. Her shanna' have a poor farmering chap,
not even if her were a Carnishman. All her land, and all her birth—and
who be you, I'd like to know?'</p>
<p>'Gwenny, you may go,' said Lorna, reddening with quiet anger; 'and
remember that you come not near me for the next three days. It is the only
way to punish her,' she continued to me, when the maid was gone, in a
storm of sobbing and weeping. 'Now, for the next three days, she will
scarcely touch a morsel of food, and scarcely do a thing but cry. Make up
your mind to one thing, John; if you mean to take me, for better for
worse, you will have to take Gwenny with me.</p>
<p>'I would take you with fifty Gwennies,' said I, 'although every one of
them hated me, which I do not believe this little maid does, in the bottom
of her heart.'</p>
<p>'No one can possibly hate you, John,' she answered very softly; and I was
better pleased with this, than if she had called me the most noble and
glorious man in the kingdom.</p>
<p>After this, we spoke of ourselves and the way people would regard us,
supposing that when Lorna came to be her own free mistress (as she must do
in the course of time) she were to throw her rank aside, and refuse her
title, and caring not a fig for folk who cared less than a fig-stalk for
her, should shape her mind to its native bent, and to my perfect
happiness. It was not my place to say much, lest I should appear to use an
improper and selfish influence. And of course to all men of common sense,
and to everybody of middle age (who must know best what is good for
youth), the thoughts which my Lorna entertained would be enough to prove
her madness.</p>
<p>Not that we could not keep her well, comfortably, and with nice clothes,
and plenty of flowers, and fruit, and landscape, and the knowledge of our
neighbours' affairs, and their kind interest in our own. Still this would
not be as if she were the owner of a county, and a haughty title; and able
to lead the first men of the age, by her mind, and face, and money.</p>
<p>Therefore was I quite resolved not to have a word to say, while this young
queen of wealth and beauty, and of noblemen's desire, made her mind up how
to act for her purest happiness. But to do her justice, this was not the
first thing she was thinking of: the test of her judgment was only this,
'How will my love be happiest?'</p>
<p>'Now, John,' she cried; for she was so quick that she always had my
thoughts beforehand; 'why will you be backward, as if you cared not for
me? Do you dream that I am doubting? My mind has been made up, good John,
that you must be my husband, for—well, I will not say how long, lest
you should laugh at my folly. But I believe it was ever since you came,
with your stockings off, and the loaches. Right early for me to make up my
mind; but you know that you made up yours, John; and, of course, I knew
it; and that had a great effect on me. Now, after all this age of loving,
shall a trifle sever us?'</p>
<p>I told her that it was no trifle, but a most important thing, to abandon
wealth, and honour, and the brilliance of high life, and be despised by
every one for such abundant folly. Moreover, that I should appear a knave
for taking advantage of her youth, and boundless generosity, and ruining
(as men would say) a noble maid by my selfishness. And I told her
outright, having worked myself up by my own conversation, that she was
bound to consult her guardian, and that without his knowledge, I would
come no more to see her. Her flash of pride at these last words made her
look like an empress; and I was about to explain myself better, but she
put forth her hand and stopped me.</p>
<p>'I think that condition should rather have proceeded from me. You are
mistaken, Master Ridd, in supposing that I would think of receiving you in
secret. It was a different thing in Glen Doone, where all except yourself
were thieves, and when I was but a simple child, and oppressed with
constant fear. You are quite right in threatening to visit me thus no
more; but I think you might have waited for an invitation, sir.'</p>
<p>'And you are quite right, Lady Lorna, in pointing out my presumption. It
is a fault that must ever be found in any speech of mine to you.'</p>
<p>This I said so humbly, and not with any bitterness—for I knew that I
had gone too far—and made her so polite a bow, that she forgave me
in a moment, and we begged each other's pardon.</p>
<p>'Now, will you allow me just to explain my own view of this matter, John?'
said she, once more my darling. 'It may be a very foolish view, but I
shall never change it. Please not to interrupt me, dear, until you have
heard me to the end. In the first place, it is quite certain that neither
you nor I can be happy without the other. Then what stands between us?
Worldly position, and nothing else. I have no more education than you
have, John Ridd; nay, and not so much. My birth and ancestry are not one
whit more pure than yours, although they may be better known. Your descent
from ancient freeholders, for five-and-twenty generations of good, honest
men, although you bear no coat of arms, is better than the lineage of nine
proud English noblemen out of every ten I meet with. In manners, though
your mighty strength, and hatred of any meanness, sometimes break out in
violence—of which I must try to cure you, dear—in manners, if
kindness, and gentleness, and modesty are the true things wanted, you are
immeasurably above any of our Court-gallants; who indeed have very little.
As for difference of religion, we allow for one another, neither having
been brought up in a bitterly pious manner.'</p>
<p>Here, though the tears were in my eyes, at the loving things love said of
me, I could not help a little laugh at the notion of any bitter piety
being found among the Doones, or even in mother, for that matter. Lorna
smiled, in her slyest manner, and went on again:—</p>
<p>'Now, you see, I have proved my point; there is nothing between us but
worldly position—if you can defend me against the Doones, for which,
I trow, I may trust you. And worldly position means wealth, and title, and
the right to be in great houses, and the pleasure of being envied. I have
not been here for a year, John, without learning something. Oh, I hate it;
how I hate it! Of all the people I know, there are but two, besides my
uncle, who do not either covet, or detest me. And who are those two, think
you?'</p>
<p>'Gwenny, for one,' I answered.</p>
<p>'Yes, Gwenny, for one. And the queen, for the other. The one is too far
below me (I mean, in her own opinion), and the other too high above. As
for the women who dislike me, without having even heard my voice, I simply
have nothing to do with them. As for the men who covet me, for my land and
money, I merely compare them with you, John Ridd; and all thought of them
is over. Oh, John, you must never forsake me, however cross I am to you. I
thought you would have gone, just now; and though I would not move to stop
you, my heart would have broken.'</p>
<p>'You don't catch me go in a hurry,' I answered very sensibly, 'when the
loveliest maiden in all the world, and the best, and the dearest, loves
me. All my fear of you is gone, darling Lorna, all my fear—'</p>
<p>'Is it possible you could fear me, John, after all we have been through
together? Now you promised not to interrupt me; is this fair behaviour?
Well, let me see where I left off—oh, that my heart would have
broken. Upon that point, I will say no more, lest you should grow
conceited, John; if anything could make you so. But I do assure you that
half London—however, upon that point also I will check my power of
speech, lest you think me conceited. And now to put aside all nonsense;
though I have talked none for a year, John, having been so unhappy; and
now it is such a relief to me—'</p>
<p>'Then talk it for an hour,' said I; 'and let me sit and watch you. To me
it is the very sweetest of all sweetest wisdom.'</p>
<p>'Nay, there is no time,' she answered, glancing at a jewelled timepiece,
scarcely larger than an oyster, which she drew from her waist-band; and
then she pushed it away, in confusion, lest its wealth should startle me.
'My uncle will come home in less than half an hour, dear: and you are not
the one to take a side-passage, and avoid him. I shall tell him that you
have been here; and that I mean you to come again.'</p>
<p>As Lorna said this, with a manner as confident as need be, I saw that she
had learned in town the power of her beauty, and knew that she could do
with most men aught she set her mind upon. And as she stood there, flushed
with pride and faith in her own loveliness, and radiant with the love
itself, I felt that she must do exactly as she pleased with every one. For
now, in turn, and elegance, and richness, and variety, there was nothing
to compare with her face, unless it were her figure. Therefore I gave in,
and said,—</p>
<p>'Darling, do just what you please. Only make no rogue of me.'</p>
<p>For that she gave me the simplest, kindest, and sweetest of all kisses;
and I went down the great stairs grandly, thinking of nothing else but
that.</p>
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