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<h2> IX. </h2>
<p>There is a kind of mental shock which, like an earthquake under a prison,
bursts open every cell and lets the inmates escape. After a time, Pete
remembered that he was sitting in the dark, and he got up to light a
candle. Looking for candlestick and matches, he went from table to
dresser, from dresser to table, and from table back to dresser, doing the
same thing over and over again, and not perceiving that he was going round
and round. When at length the candle was lighted, he took it in his hand
and went into the parlour like a sleepwalker. He set it on the
mantelpiece, and sat down on the stool. In his blurred vision confused
forms floated about him. "Ah! my tools," he thought, and picked up the
mallet and two of the chisels. He was sitting with these in his hands when
his eyes fell on the other candlestick, the one in which the candle had
gone out "I meant to light a candle," he thought, and he got up and took
the empty candlestick into the hall. When he came back with another
lighted candle, he perceived that there were two. "I'm going stupid," he
thought, and he blew out the first one. A moment afterwards he forgot that
he had done so, and seeing the second still burning, he blew that out
also.</p>
<p>So dull were his senses that he did not realise that anything was amiss.
His eyes were seeing objects everywhere about—they were growing to
awful size and threatening him. His ears were hearing noises—they
were making a fearful tumult inside his head.</p>
<p>The room was not entirely dark. A shaft of bleared moonlight came and went
at intervals. The moon was scudding through an angry sky, sometimes
appearing, sometimes disappearing. Pete returned to the stool, and then he
was in the light, but the nameless stone, leaning against the wall, was in
the shade. He took up the mallet and chisels again, intending to work.
"Hush!" he said as he began. The clamour in his brain was so loud that he
thought some one was making a noise in the house. This task was sacred. He
always worked at it in silence.</p>
<p><i>Pat-put! pat-put!</i> How long he worked he never knew. There are
moments which are not to be measured as time. In the uncertain handling of
the chisel and the irregular beat of the mallet something gave way. There
was a harsh sound like a groan. A crack like a flash of forked lightning
had shot across the face of the stone. He had split it in half. Its great
pieces fell to the floor on either side of him. Then he remembered that
the stone had been useless. "It doesn't matter now," he thought. Nothing
mattered.</p>
<p>With the mallet hanging from his hand he continued to sit in the drifting
moonlight, feeling as if everything in the world had been shivered to
atoms. His two idols had been scattered at one blow—his wife and his
friend. The golden threads that had bound him to life were broken. When
poverty had come, he had met it without repining; when death had seemed to
come, he had borne up against it bravely. But wifeless, friendless,
deceived where he had loved, betrayed where he had worshipped, he was
bankrupt, he was broken, and a boundless despair took hold of him.</p>
<p>When hope is entirely gone, anguish will sometimes turn a man into a
monster. There was a fretful cry from the cradle, and, still in the stupor
of his despair, he went out to rock it. The fire, which had only slid and
smouldered, was now struggling into flame, and the child looked up at him
with Philip's eyes. A knife seemed to enter his heart at that moment. He
was more desolate than he had thought. "Hush, my child, hush!" he said,
without thinking. <i>His</i> child? He had none. That solace was gone.</p>
<p>Anger came to save his reason. Not to have felt anger, he must have been
less than a man or more. He remembered what the child had been to him. He
remembered what it was when it came, and again when he thought its mother
was dead; he remembered what it was when death frowned on it, and what it
had been since death passed it by. Flesh of his flesh, blood of his blood,
bone of his bone, heart of his heart. Not his merely, but himself.</p>
<p>A lie, a mockery, a delusion, a deception! <i>She</i> has practised it.
Oh, she had hidden her secret. She had thought it was safe. But the child
itself had betrayed it. The secret had spoken from the child's own face.</p>
<p>"Yet I've seen her kneel by the cot and pray, 'God bless my baby, and its
father and its mother'——-"</p>
<p>Why had he not killed her? A wild vision rose before him of killing Kate,
and then going to the Deemster and saying, "Take me; I have murdered her
because you have dishonoured her. Condemn me to death; yet remember God
lives, and He will condemn you to damnation."</p>
<p>But the pity of it—the pity of it! By a quick revolt of tenderness
he recalled Kate as he had just seen her, crouching at the back of the
cradle, like a hunted hare with uplifted paws uttering its last pitiful
cry. He remembered her altered face, so pale even in the firelight, so
thin, so worn, and his anger began to smoke against Philip. The flower
that he would have been proud to wear on his breast Philip had buried in
the dark. Curse him! Curse him!</p>
<p>She had given up all for that man—husband, child, father, mother,
her friends, her good name, the very light of heaven. How she must have
loved him! Yet he had been ashamed of her, had hidden her away, had been
in fear lest the very air should whisper of her whereabouts. Curse him!
Curse him! Curse him!</p>
<p>In the heat of his great anger Pete thought of himself also. Jealousy was
far beneath him, but, like all great souls, this simple man had known
something of the grandeur of friendship. Two streams running into them and
taking heaven into their bosom. But Philip had kept him apart, had banked
him off, and yet drained him to the dregs. He had uncovered his nakedness—the
nakedness of his soul itself.</p>
<p>Bit by bit Pete pieced together the history of the past months. He
remembered the night of Kate's disappearance, when he had gone to Ballure
and shouted up at the lighted window, "I've sent her to England," thinking
to hide her fault. At that moment Philip had known all—where she was
(for it was where he had sent her), why she was gone, and that she was
gone for ever. Curse him! Curse him!</p>
<p>Pete recalled the letters—the first one that he had put into
Philip's hand, the second that he had read to him, the third that Philip
had written to his dictation. The little forgeries' to keep her poor name
sweet, the little inventions to make his story plausible, the little lies
of love, the little jests of a breaking heart! And then the messages! The
presents to the child! The reference to the Deemster himself! And the
Deemster had sat there and seen through it all as the sun sees through
glass, yet he had given no sign, he had never spoken; he had held a
quivering, naked heart in his hand, while his own lay within as cold as a
stone. Curse him, O God! Curse him!</p>
<p>Pete remembered the night when Philip came to tell him that Kate was dead,
and how he had comforted himself with the thought that he was not
altogether alone in his great trouble, because his friend was with him. He
remembered the journey to the grave, the grave itself—another's
grave-how he knelt at the foot of it, and prayed aloud in Philip's
hearing, "Forgive me, my poor girl!"</p>
<p>"How shall I kill him?" thought Pete. Deemster too! First Deemster now,
and held high in honour! Worshipped for his justice! Beloved for his
mercy! O God! O God!</p>
<p>There are passions so overmastering that they stifle speech, and man sinks
back to the animal. With an inarticulate shout Pete went to the parlour
and caught up the mallet. A frantic thought had flashed on him of killing
Philip as he sat on the bench which he had disgraced, administering the
law which he had outraged. The wild justice of this idea made the blood to
bubble in his ears. He saw himself holding the Deemster by the throat, and
crying aloud to the people, "You think this man is a just judge—he
is a whited sepulchre. You think he is as true as the sun—he is as
false as the sea. He has robbed me of wife and child; at the very gates of
heaven he has lied to me like hell. The hour of justice has struck, and
thus I pay him—and thus—and thus."</p>
<p>But the power of words was lost in the drunkenness of his rage. With a
dismal roar he flung the mallet away, and it rolled on the ground in
narrowing circles. "My hands, my hands," he thought. He would strangle
Philip, and then he would kill everybody in his way, merely for the lust
of killing. Why not? The fatal line was past. Nothing sacred remained. The
world was a howling wilderness of boundless license. With the savage growl
of a caged beast this wild man flung himself on the door, tore it open,
and bounded on to the path.</p>
<p>Then he stopped suddenly. There was a thunderous noise outside, such as
the waves make in a cave. A company of people were coming in at the gate.
Some were walking with the heavy step of men who carry a corpse. Others
were bearing lanterns, and a few held high over their heads the torches
which fishermen use when they are hauling the white nets at night.</p>
<p>"Who's there?" cried Pete, in a voice that was like a howl.</p>
<p>"Your friend," said somebody.</p>
<p>"<i>My</i> friend? I have no friend," cried Pete, in a broken roar.</p>
<p>"'Deed he's gone, seemingly," said a voice out of the dark.</p>
<p>Pete did not hear. Seeing the crowd and the lights, but only as darkness
veined with fire, he thought Philip was coming again, as he had so often
seen him come in his glory, in his greatness, in his triumph.</p>
<p>"Where is he?" he roared. "He's here," they answered.</p>
<p>And then Philip was brought up the path in the arms of four bearers, his
head hanging aside and shaking at every step, his face white as the wig
above it, and his gown trailing along the earth.</p>
<p>There was a sudden calm, and Pete dropped back in awe and horror. A bolt
out of heaven seemed to have fallen at his feet, and he trembled as if
lightning had blinded him.</p>
<p>Dead!</p>
<p>His anger had ebbed, his fury had dashed itself against a rock. His
towering rage had shrunk to nothing in the face of this awful presence.
The Dark Spirit had gone before him and snatched his victim out of his
hands. He had come out to kill this man, and here he met him being brought
home dead.</p>
<p>Dead? Then his sin was dead also. God forgive him!</p>
<p>God forgive him, where he was gone! Presumptuous man, stand back.</p>
<p>Oh, mighty and merciful Death! Death the liberator, the deliverer, the
pardoner, the peace-maker! Even the shadow of thy face can quench the
fires of revenge; even the gathering of thy wings can deaden the clamour
of madness, and turn hatred into love and curses into prayers.</p>
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