<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></SPAN>CHAPTER III.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_19" id="Page_19"></SPAN></span></h2>
<h4>FARM LIFE. SPORTING. POACHING ON LUCY.</h4>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i2">"Hanging and wiving go by destiny!"<br/></span></div>
</div>
<p>The drudgery of farm work was not relished by Shakspere, and the spring of
1586 found the man of destiny more engaged in the sports of Stratford and
surrounding villages than in the production of corn, cabbage, turnips and
potatoes. Where fun was to be found William raised the auction and the
highest bidder at the booths of vanity fair. He was athletic in mind and
body, and forever like a cribbed lion or caged eagle, struggled to shake
off his rural environments and dash away into the world of thought and
action.</p>
<p>Home, with its practical, daily gad grind morality and responsibility, had
no charm for William, and his stalwart wife made matters worse by her
continual importunities to her vagabond husband to settle down with the
muttonhead clodhoppers and tradesmen of Warwickshire. He was not built that
way!</p>
<p>Her farm logic fell upon deaf ears, for while she was preaching hard work
he was reading the love-lit flights of Ovid and pondering over the sugared
sonnets of Petrarch and Sir Philip Sidney, living in the realms of Clio,
Euterpe and Terpsichore,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_20" id="Page_20"></SPAN></span> preparing even then his pathway to the great
poems of Venus and Adonis, Lucrece, the sonnets and the immortal plays that
were incubating in the procreant soul of the Divine Bard. He was his own
schoolmaster, drawing daily draughts from the universal fountains of
Nature.</p>
<p>And what a blessing it is to the public to have even a social scapegrace
hatch out golden ideas for their education and amusement, notwithstanding
the neglect of farm and family!</p>
<p>The greatest good to the greatest number is best for all time.</p>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">"God moves in a mysterious way,<br/></span>
<span class="i2">His wonders to perform,<br/></span>
<span class="i0">He plants His footsteps in the sea<br/></span>
<span class="i2">And rides upon the storm."<br/></span></div>
</div>
<p>On the first of September, 1586, the lord high sheriff of Coventry invited
the people to an archery and drinking contest.</p>
<p>Representatives from twenty-five villages and towns were selected, from the
various working guilds and professions, to conquer or die (drunk) in the
Queen's name for the honor of Old Albion.</p>
<p>Ceres, the Goddess of Harvest, had showered her riches on the fields and
forests of Warwickshire, and to glorify her abundance, a great athletic and
semimilitary carnival was thus given by the authorities to test the
bravery, endurance and greatness of the sons of Saint George and the
Dragon.</p>
<p>The beautiful, broad, undulating, winding highways, leading from Stratford,
Warwick, Kenilworth and Birmingham to the ancient town of Coventry<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_21" id="Page_21"></SPAN></span> were
filled with jolly pilgrims to pay devotion at the shrine of Hercules and
Bacchus, with the influence of Venus as an ever-present incentive to
passionate pleasure.</p>
<p>That bright September morning I well remember! Dame Nature was just donning
her variegated gown of rustic-brown, while fitful airs from the realms of
Jack Frost were painting the wild roses and forest leaves in cardinal hue,
and the blackbird, thrush and musical nightingale flew low and sang hoarse,
but continually, in their assemblages for migration to lands of sun and
flowers.</p>
<p>From Kenilworth to Coventry the rural scenery is as various and beautiful
as visions of a dream, and the undulating landscape by hill and dale, field
and forest, river, marge, cottage, hall, church and castle, grouping
themselves in shifting pictures of beauty and grandeur, where lofty elms
and sycamores rise and bend their willowy arms to the passing breeze,
indelibly impresses the beholder with a splendid kaleidoscopic view of
English hospitality and agricultural cultivation.</p>
<p>The tall turrets of monasteries, castles and soaring church spires of
Coventry looked luminous in the morning sunshine, while the brazen tongues
of century bells rolled their mellifluous matin tones in voluminous welcome
to the great multitude of revelers within her embattled walls and
hospitable homes.</p>
<p>Promptly at nine o'clock in the morning, in the Leicester Park, twenty-five
accoutered long bow men, in archery uniform, took their stand before the
bull's eye targets two hundred yards away.</p>
<p>At the words "draw," "aim" and "fly" the whiz<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_22" id="Page_22"></SPAN></span>zing arrows centered and
shivered in the oak targets, and none hit the bull's but Will Shakspere of
Stratford, who was proclaimed winner of the first prize, an ox, a barrel of
sack and butt of wine, with the privilege of kissing every girl in the
county.</p>
<p>The entire day was spent in all kinds of sports, and with roasts, joints,
bread, pudding, sack, ale, gin, brandy and whiskey, the revelers did not
break up until daylight, when all were laid under the table but William and
his friends Burbage, Condell and Dick Field, who had come away from his
printing house in London to witness one of the greatest rural sports of
England.</p>
<p>Although Stratford was not a day's walk from Coventry, William and his
friends did not succeed in getting back for three days, and often they
traveled by the light of the moon believing it was the sun in midday
splendor.</p>
<p>Anne Hathaway heard of William's official and social victory, not in the
proud light of his Stratford and Shottery alehouse companions, but with a
tongue like a gad, she proposed to lash him into shame as a husband or
drive him from his cottage home to earn a living for his infant children.</p>
<p>William was a little dubious as to his reception, and in order to temper
the storm to the "ambling lamb," he earnestly requested me to accompany him
home, as a buffer to his contemplated reception, believing that Anne would
mellow her words and actions in the presence of an old friend.</p>
<p>I respectfully declined his pressing invitation and twitted him on being
afraid of a woman, when he plaintively exclaimed:<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_23" id="Page_23"></SPAN></span></p>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">Anne Hath-a-way that gives me pain,<br/></span>
<span class="i2">She scolds both day and night;<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Her tongue goes pattering like the rain<br/></span>
<span class="i2">And speeds my outward flight;<br/></span>
<span class="i0">I'll soon be gone to London town<br/></span>
<span class="i2">And leave her house and land<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Where I will gain some great renown<br/></span>
<span class="i2">That she may understand.<br/></span></div>
</div>
<p>I met William the next morning on his way to the Crown Tavern in search of
a "Martini Cocktail," a new drink that an Indian from America had invented
for Admiral Drake and Sir Walter Raleigh.</p>
<p>William bore the appearance of a man who had slept by a smoky chimney, or
encountered the butt end of a threshing flail. He seemed sombre and
muttered to himself:</p>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">"When sorrows come they come not single<br/></span>
<span class="i2">But in battalions!"<br/></span></div>
</div>
<p>I joined him in liquidation at the tavern, for, to tell the truth, my
throat felt like the rough edge of a buffalo robe, and my nerves trembled
like aspen leaves in July.</p>
<p>When our usual village sports filed around the table, and glee and song
once more prevailed, William began to soften in his statuesque attitude,
and laughingly proposed that we "go a poaching" on the imprisoned animals
and birds that Squire Lucy corraled for his special delectation, to the
detriment of honest apprentices and pure-minded yeomanry.</p>
<p>His proposition was agreed to unanimously,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_24" id="Page_24"></SPAN></span> and just as the sun tipped the
treetops of the Charlecote domain, we had scared up a couple of fat deer,
and sent our arrows through their trembling anatomy, and the number of
hares, grouse and pigeons we slaughtered that evening kept the landlord of
the Crown Tavern busy for two days to dish up to his jolly revelers.</p>
<p>In this escapade we only imitated the aristocratic students of Oxford
College, who frequently made inroads into lordly domains and took some of
the treasures that God and Nature intended for all men, instead of being
hatched, bred and watched by impudent and cruel gamekeepers, employed by
tyrannical landlords, in defiance of the natural rights of the people.</p>
<p>Even the fish in the Avon, Severn and Bay were registered and claimed by
scrubs of royalty for their exclusive use, fine and imprisonment being
imposed for hunting on the land and fishing in the streams that God made
for all men.</p>
<p>These parliamentary laws should be voted or bulleted out of the statute
books, and the people again inherit their inalienable rights.</p>
<p>My friend William was arrested by the malicious Lucy, and the gamekeeper,
Tom Snap, swore to enough facts to exile, hang and quarter the Bard.</p>
<p>Through the influence of his father and John A. Combe, William, the chief
culprit, was not imprisoned, but compelled to pay a fine of one pound ten.</p>
<p>He did not have but three shillings, yet the boys secretly passed the hat
around in the court yard and tavern, and soon extricated our chum from the
toils of Sir Thomas Lucy.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_25" id="Page_25"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>William did not have the courage to face his wife after a week's absence,
and told me privately that he was going off instanter by the way of Oxford
to London and seek his fortune.</p>
<p>I applauded his spunk and determination, and, at his solicitation willingly
joined him in his eloquent rambles. My parents were both dead, and being of
a bohemian tendency, my home has ever been on any spot of the earth where
the sun rose or set. Pot luck suits me.</p>
<p>Natural freedom of body and mind has ever been my greatest delight and the
artificial fashions and tyrannical laws of society I despise and defy, and
shall to my dying day. My mind is my master.</p>
<p>Right is my religion and God is my instructor!</p>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">"I must have liberty<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Withal, as large a charter as the wind<br/></span>
<span class="i0">To blow on whom I please."<br/></span></div>
</div>
<p>The evening before we left Stratford William wrote a short note to his wife
and said that he would take her advice, leave the town, and seek his
fortune in the whirlpool of grand old London.</p>
<p>I imagine that Anne was delighted to receive his impromptu note, for it
left her one less mouth to feed; and William was equally satisfied to be
relieved of the rôle of playing husband without any of the practical moral
adjuncts.</p>
<p>In passing by the entrance gate to the lordly estate of Sir Thomas Lucy, or
Justice Shallow, William nailed up the following poetic shot to the
hot-headed old squire, which was read and copied the next morning, by all
the market men<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_26" id="Page_26"></SPAN></span> going to town, and the tavern lads going to their country
ploughs:</p>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">"The tyrant Thomas Lucy<br/></span>
<span class="i2">Lets no one go to mass,<br/></span>
<span class="i0">He's a squire for Queen Bess,<br/></span>
<span class="i2">And in Parliament an ass;<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Fair Charlecote is ruined<br/></span>
<span class="i2">By this bluffer of the state,<br/></span>
<span class="i0">And only his dependents<br/></span>
<span class="i2">Will dare to call him great.<br/></span>
<span class="i0">The deer and hares and pidgeons<br/></span>
<span class="i2">Are imprisoned for his use,<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Yet, poaching lads from Stratford<br/></span>
<span class="i2">Pluck this strutting, feathered goose."<br/></span></div>
</div>
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