<h2> CHAPTER XX </h2>
<p><i>The Baron slips through the world: after paying a visit to Mount Etna
he finds himself in the South Sea; visits Vulcan in his passage; gets on
board a Dutchman; arrives at an island of cheese, surrounded by a sea of
milk; describes some very extraordinary objects—Lose their compass;
their ship slips between the teeth of a fish unknown in this part of the
world; their difficulty in escaping from thence; arrive in the Caspian Sea—Starves
a bear to death—A few waistcoat anecdotes—In this chapter,
which is the longest, the Baron moralises upon the virtue of veracity.</i></p>
<p>Mr. Drybones' "Travels to Sicily," which I had read with great pleasure,
induced me to pay a visit to Mount Etna; my voyage to this place was not
attended with any circumstances worth relating. One morning early, three
or four days after my arrival, I set out from a cottage where I had slept,
within six miles of the foot of the mountain, determined to explore the
internal parts, if I perished in the attempt. After three hours' hard
labour I found myself at the top; it was then, and had been for upwards of
three weeks, raging: its appearance in this state has been so frequently
noticed by different travellers, that I will not tire you with
descriptions of objects you are already acquainted with. I walked round
the edge of the crater, which appeared to be fifty times at least as
capacious as the Devil's Punch-Bowl near Petersfield, on the Portsmouth
Road, but not so broad at the bottom, as in that part it resembles the
contracted part of a funnel more than a punch-bowl. At last, having made
up my mind, in I sprang feet foremost; I soon found myself in a warm
berth, and my body bruised and burnt in various parts by the red-hot
cinders, which, by their violent ascent, opposed my descent: however, my
weight soon brought me to the bottom, where I found myself in the midst of
noise and clamour, mixed with the most horrid imprecations; after
recovering my senses, and feeling a reduction of my pain, I began to look
about me. Guess, gentlemen, my astonishment, when I found myself in the
company of Vulcan and his Cyclops, who had been quarrelling, for the three
weeks before mentioned, about the observation of good order and due
subordination, and which had occasioned such alarms for that space of time
in the world above. However, my arrival restored peace to the whole
society, and Vulcan himself did me the honour of applying plasters to my
wounds, which healed them immediately; he also placed refreshments before
me, particularly nectar, and other rich wines, such as the gods and
goddesses only aspire to. After this repast was over Vulcan ordered Venus
to show me every indulgence which my situation required. To describe the
apartment, and the couch on which I reposed, is totally impossible,
therefore I will not attempt it; let it suffice to say, it exceeds the
power of language to do it justice, or speak of that kind-hearted goddess
in any terms equal to her merit.</p>
<p>Vulcan gave me a very concise account of Mount Etna: he said it was
nothing more than an accumulation of ashes thrown from his forge; that he
was frequently obliged to chastise his people, at whom, in his passion, he
made it a practice to throw red-hot coals at home, which they often
parried with great dexterity, and then threw them up into the world to
place them out of his reach, for they never attempted to assault him in
return by throwing them back again. "Our quarrels," added he, "last
sometimes three or four months, and these appearances of coals or cinders
in the world are what I find you mortals call eruptions." Mount Vesuvius,
he assured me, was another of his shops, to which he had a passage three
hundred and fifty leagues under the bed of the sea, where similar quarrels
produced similar eruptions. I should have continued here as an humble
attendant upon Madam Venus, but some busy tattlers, who delight in
mischief, whispered a tale in Vulcan's ear, which roused in him a fit of
jealousy not to be appeased. Without the least previous notice he took me
one morning under his arm, as I was waiting upon Venus, agreeable to
custom, and carried me to an apartment I had never before seen, in which
there was, to all appearance, <i>a well</i> with a wide mouth: over this
he held me at arm's length, and saying, "<i>Ungrateful mortal, return to
the world from whence you came</i>," without giving me the least
opportunity of reply, dropped me in the centre. I found myself descending
with an increasing rapidity, till the horror of my mind deprived me of all
reflection. I suppose I fell into a trance, from which I was suddenly
aroused by plunging into a large body of water illuminated by the rays of
the sun!!</p>
<p>I could, from my infancy, swim well, and play tricks in the water. I now
found myself in paradise, considering the horrors of mind I had just been
released from. After looking about me some time, I could discover nothing
but an expanse of sea, extending beyond the eye in every direction; I also
found it very cold, a different climate from Master Vulcan's shop. At last
I observed at some distance a body of amazing magnitude, like a huge rock,
approaching me; I soon discovered it to be a piece of floating ice; I swam
round it till I found a place where I could ascend to the top, which I
did, but not without some difficulty. Still I was out of sight of land,
and despair returned with double force; however, before night came on I
saw a sail, which we approached very fast; when it was within a very small
distance I hailed them in German; they answered in Dutch. I then flung
myself into the sea, and they threw out a rope, by which I was taken on
board. I now inquired where we were, and was informed, in the great
Southern Ocean; this opened a discovery which removed all my doubts and
difficulties. It was now evident that I had passed from Mount Etna through
the centre of the earth to the South Seas: this, gentlemen, was a much
shorter cut than going round the world, and which no man has accomplished,
or ever attempted, but myself; however, the next time I perform it I will
be much more particular in my observations.</p>
<p>I took some refreshment, and went to rest. The Dutch are a very rude sort
of people; I related the Etna passage to the officers, exactly as I have
done to you, and some of them, particularly the Captain, seemed by his
grimace and half-sentence to doubt my veracity; however, as he had kindly
taken me on board his vessel, and was then in the very act of
administering to my necessities, I pocketed the affront.</p>
<p>I now in my turn began to inquire where they were bound? To which they
answered, they were in search of new discoveries; "<i>and if</i>," said
they, "<i>your story is true, a new passage is really discovered, and we
shall not return disappointed</i>." We were now exactly in Captain Cook's
first track, and arrived the next morning in Botany Bay. This place I
would by no means recommend to the English government as a receptacle for
felons, or place of punishment; it should rather be the reward of merit,
nature having most bountifully bestowed her best gifts upon it.</p>
<p>We stayed here but three days; the fourth after our departure a most
dreadful storm arose, which in a few hours destroyed all our sails,
splintered our bowsprit, and brought down our topmast; it fell directly
upon the box that enclosed our compass, which, with the compass, was
broken to pieces. Every one who has been at sea knows the consequences of
such a misfortune: we now were at a loss where to steer. At length the
storm abated, which was followed by a steady, brisk gale, that carried us
at least forty knots an hour for six months! [we should suppose the Baron
has made a little mistake, and substituted <i>months</i> for <i>days</i>]
when we began to observe an amazing change in everything about us: our
spirits became light, our noses were regaled with the most aromatic
effluvia imaginable: the sea had also changed its complexion, and from
green became white!! Soon after these wonderful alterations we saw land,
and not at any great distance an inlet, which we sailed up near sixty
leagues, and found it wide and deep, flowing with milk of the most
delicious taste. Here we landed, and soon found it was an island
consisting of one large cheese: we discovered this by one of the company
fainting away as soon as we landed: this man always had an aversion to
cheese; when he recovered, he desired the cheese to be taken from under
his feet: upon examination we found him perfectly right, for the whole
island, as before observed, was nothing but a cheese of immense magnitude!
Upon this the inhabitants, who are amazingly numerous, principally sustain
themselves, and it grows every night in proportion as it is consumed in
the day. Here seemed to be plenty of vines, with bunches of large grapes,
which, upon being pressed, yielded nothing but milk. We saw the
inhabitants running races upon the surface of the milk: they were upright,
comely figures, nine feet high, have three legs, and but one arm; upon the
whole, their form was graceful, and when they quarrel, they exercise a
straight horn, which grows in adults from the centre of their foreheads,
with great adroitness; they did not sink at all, but ran and walked upon
the surface of the milk, as we do upon a bowling-green.</p>
<p>Upon this island of cheese grows great plenty of corn, the ears of which
produce loaves of bread, ready made, of a round form like mushrooms. We
discovered, in our rambles over this cheese, seventeen other rivers of
milk, and ten of wine.</p>
<p>After thirty-eight days' journey we arrived on the opposite side to that
on which we landed: here we found some blue mould, as cheese-eaters call
it, from whence spring all kinds of rich fruit; instead of breeding mites
it produced peaches, nectarines, apricots, and a thousand delicious fruits
which we are not acquainted with. In these trees, which are of an amazing
size, were plenty of birds' nests; amongst others was a king-fisher's of
prodigious magnitude; it was at least twice the circumference of the dome
of St. Paul's Church in London. Upon inspection, this nest was made of
huge trees curiously joined together; there were, let me see (<i>for I
make it a rule always to speak within compass</i>), there were upwards of
five hundred eggs in the nest, and each of them was as large as four
common hogsheads, or eight barrels, and we could not only see, but hear
the young ones chirping within. Having, with great fatigue, cut open one
of these eggs, we let out a young one unfeathered, considerably larger
than twenty full-grown vultures. Just as we had given this youngster his
liberty the old kingfisher lighted, and seizing our captain, who had been
active in breaking the egg, in one of her claws, flew with him above a
mile high, and then let him drop into the sea, but not till she had beaten
all his teeth out of his mouth with her wings.</p>
<p>Dutchmen generally swim well: he soon joined us, and we retreated to our
ship. On our return we took a different route, and observed many strange
objects. We shot two wild oxen, each with one horn, also like the
inhabitants, except that it sprouted from between the eyes of these
animals; we were afterwards concerned at having destroyed them, as we
found, by inquiry, they tamed these creatures, and used them as we do
horses, to ride upon and draw their carriages; their flesh, we were
informed, is excellent, but useless where people live upon cheese and
milk. When we had reached within two days' journey of the ship we observed
three men hanging to a tall tree by their heels; upon inquiring the cause
of their punishment, I found they had all been travellers, and upon their
return home had deceived their friends by describing places they never
saw, and relating things that never happened: this gave me no concern, <i>as
I have ever confined myself to facts</i>.</p>
<p>As soon as we arrived at the ship we unmoored, and set sail from this
extraordinary country, when, to our astonishment, all the trees upon
shore, of which there were a great number very tall and large, paid their
respects to us twice, bowing to exact time, and immediately recovered
their former posture, which was quite erect.</p>
<p>By what we could learn of this CHEESE, it was considerably larger than the
continent of all Europe!</p>
<p>After sailing three months we knew not where, being still without compass,
we arrived in a sea which appeared to be almost black: upon tasting it we
found it most excellent wine, and had great difficulty to keep the sailors
from getting drunk with it: however, in a few hours we found ourselves
surrounded by whales and other animals of an immense magnitude, one of
which appeared to be too large for the eye to form a judgment of: we did
not see him till we were close to him. This monster drew our ship, with
all her masts standing, and sails bent, by suction into his mouth, between
his teeth, which were much larger and taller than the mast of a first-rate
man-of-war. After we had been in his mouth some time he opened it pretty
wide, took in an immense quantity of water, and floated our vessel, which
was at least 500 tons burthen, into his stomach; here we lay as quiet as
at anchor in a dead calm. The air, to be sure, was rather warm, and very
offensive. We found anchors, cables, boats, and barges in abundance, and a
considerable number of ships, some laden and some not, which this creature
had swallowed. Everything was transacted by torch-light; no sun, no moon,
no planet, to make observations from. We were all generally afloat and
aground twice a-day; whenever he drank, it became high water with us; and
when he evacuated, we found ourselves aground; upon a moderate
computation, he took in more water at a single draught than is generally
to be found in the Lake of Geneva, though that is above thirty miles in
circumference. On the second day of our confinement in these regions of
darkness, I ventured at low water, as we called it when the ship was
aground, to ramble with the Captain, and a few of the other officers, with
lights in our hands; we met with people of all nations, to the amount of
upwards of ten thousand; they were going to hold a council how to recover
their liberty; some of them having lived in this animal's stomach several
years; there were several children here who had never seen the world,
their mothers having lain in repeatedly in this warm situation. Just as
the chairman was going to inform us of the business upon which we were
assembled, this plaguy fish, becoming thirsty, drank in his usual manner;
the water poured in with such impetuosity, that we were all obliged to
retreat to our respective ships immediately, or run the risk of being
drowned; some were obliged to swim for it, and with difficulty saved their
lives. In a few hours after we were more fortunate, we met again just
after the monster had evacuated. I was chosen chairman, and the first
thing I did was to propose splicing two main-masts together, and the next
time he opened his mouth to be ready to wedge them in, so as to prevent
his shutting it. It was unanimously approved. One hundred stout men were
chosen upon this service. We had scarcely got our masts properly prepared
when an opportunity offered; the monster opened his mouth, immediately the
top of the mast was placed against the roof, and the other end pierced his
tongue, which effectually prevented him from shutting his mouth. As soon
as everything in his stomach was afloat, we manned a few boats, who rowed
themselves and us into the world. The daylight, after, as near as we could
judge, three months' confinement in total darkness, cheered our spirits
surprisingly. When we had all taken our leave of this capacious animal, we
mustered just a fleet of ninety-five ships, of all nations, who had been
in this confined situation.</p>
<p>We left the two masts in his mouth, to prevent others being confined in
the same horrid gulf of darkness and filth. Our first object was to learn
what part of the world we were in; this we were for some time at a loss to
ascertain: at last I found, from former observations, that we were in the
Caspian Sea! which washes part of the country of the Calmuck Tartars. How
we came here is was impossible to conceive, as this sea has no
communication with any other. One of the inhabitants of the Cheese Island,
whom I had brought with me, accounted for it thus:—that the monster
in whose stomach we had been so long confined had carried us here through
some subterraneous passage; however, we pushed to shore, and I was the
first who landed. Just as I put my foot upon the ground a large bear
leaped upon me with its fore-paws; I caught one in each hand, and squeezed
him till he cried out most lustily; however, in this position I held him
till I starved him to death. You may laugh, gentlemen, but this was soon
accomplished, as I prevented him licking his paws. From hence I travelled
up to St. Petersburg a second time: here an old friend gave me a most
excellent pointer, descended from the famous bitch before-mentioned, that
littered while she was hunting a hare. I had the misfortune to have him
shot soon after by a blundering sportsman, who fired at him instead of a
covey of partridges which he had just set. Of this creature's skin I have
had this waistcoat made (showing his waistcoat), which always leads me
involuntarily to game if I walk in the fields in the proper season, and
when I come within shot, <i>one of the buttons constantly flies off, and
lodges upon the spot where the sport is</i>; and as the birds rise, being
always primed and cocked, I never miss them. Here are now but three
buttons left. I shall have a new set sewed on against the shooting season
commences.</p>
<p>When a covey of partridges is disturbed in this manner, by the button
falling amongst them, they always rise from the ground in a direct line
before each other. I one day, by forgetting to take my ramrod out of my
gun, shot it straight through a leash, as regularly as if the cook had
spitted them. I had forgot to put in any shot, and the rod had been made
so hot with the powder, that the birds were completely roasted by the time
I reached home.</p>
<p>Since my arrival in England I have accomplished what I had very much at
heart, viz., providing for the inhabitant of the Cheese Island, whom I had
brought with me. My old friend, Sir William Chambers, who is entirely
indebted to me for all his ideas of Chinese gardening, by a description of
which he has gained such high reputation; I say, gentlemen, in a discourse
which I had with this gentlemen, he seemed much distressed for a
contrivance to light the lamps at the new buildings, Somerset House; the
common mode with ladders, he observed, was both dirty and inconvenient. My
native of the Cheese Island popped into my head; he was only nine feet
high when I first brought him from his own country, but was now increased
to ten and a half: I introduced him to Sir William, and he is appointed to
that honourable office. He is also to carry, under a large cloak, a
utensil in each coat pocket, instead of those four which Sir William has
<i>very properly</i> fixed for private purposes in so conspicuous a
situation, the great quadrangle.</p>
<p>He has also obtained from Mr. PITT the situation of messenger to his
Majesty's lords of the bed-chamber, whose principal employment will <i>now</i>
be, divulging the secrets of the Royal household to their <i>worthy</i>
Patron.</p>
<p>SUPPLEMENT</p>
<p><i>Extraordinary flight on the back of an eagle, over France to Gibraltar,
South and North America, the Polar Regions, and back to England, within
six-and-thirty hours.</i></p>
<p>About the beginning of his present Majesty's reign I had some business
with a distant relation who then lived on the Isle of Thanet; it was a
family dispute, and not likely to be finished soon. I made it a practice
during my residence there, the weather being fine, to walk out every
morning. After a few of these excursions I observed an object upon a great
eminence about three miles distant: I extended my walk to it, and found
the ruins of an ancient temple: I approached it with admiration and
astonishment; the traces of grandeur and magnificence which yet remained
were evident proofs of its former splendour: here I could not help
lamenting the ravages and devastations of time, of which that once noble
structure exhibited such a melancholy proof. I walked round it several
times, meditating on the fleeting and transitory nature of all terrestrial
things; on the eastern end were the remains of a lofty tower, near forty
feet high, overgrown with ivy, the top apparently flat; I surveyed it on
every side very minutely, thinking that if I could gain its summit I
should enjoy the most delightful prospect of the circumjacent country.
Animated with this hope, I resolved, if possible, to gain the summit,
which I at length effected by means of the ivy, though not without great
difficulty and danger; the top I found covered with this evergreen, except
a large chasm in the middle. After I had surveyed with pleasing wonder the
beauties of art and nature that conspired to enrich the scene, curiosity
prompted me to sound the opening in the middle, in order to ascertain its
depth, as I entertained a suspicion that it might probably communicate
with some unexplored subterranean cavern in the hill; but having no line I
was at a loss how to proceed. After revolving the matter in my thoughts
for some time, I resolved to drop a stone down and listen to the echo:
having found one that answered my purpose I placed myself over the hole,
with one foot on each side, and stooping down to listen, I dropped the
stone, which I had no sooner done than I heard a rustling below, and
suddenly a monstrous eagle put up its head right opposite my face, and
rising up with irresistible force, carried me away seated on its
shoulders: I instantly grasped it round the neck, which was large enough
to fill my arms, and its wings, when extended, were ten yards from one
extremity to the other. As it rose with a regular ascent, my seat was
perfectly easy, and I enjoyed the prospect below with inexpressible
pleasure. It hovered over Margate for some time, was seen by several
people, and many shots were fired at it; one ball hit the heel of my shoe,
but did me no injury. It then directed its course to Dover cliff, where it
alighted, and I thought of dismounting, but was prevented by a sudden
discharge of musketry from a party of marines that were exercising on the
beach; the balls flew about my head, and rattled on the feathers of the
eagle like hail-stones, yet I could not perceive it had received any
injury. It instantly reascended and flew over the sea towards Calais, but
so very high that the Channel seemed to be no broader than the Thames at
London Bridge. In a quarter of an hour I found myself over a thick wood in
France, where the eagle descended very rapidly, which caused me to slip
down to the back part of its head; but alighting on a large tree, and
raising its head, I recovered my seat as before, but saw no possibility of
disengaging myself without the danger of being killed by the fall; so I
determined to sit fast, thinking it would carry me to the Alps, or some
other high mountain, where I could dismount without any danger. After
resting a few minutes it took wing, flew several times round the wood, and
screamed loud enough to be heard across the English Channel. In a few
minutes one of the same species arose out of the wood, and flew directly
towards us; it surveyed me with evident marks of displeasure, and came
very near me. After flying several times round, they both directed their
course to the south-west. I soon observed that the one I rode upon could
not keep pace with the other, but inclined towards the earth, on account
of my weight; its companion perceiving this, turned round and placed
itself in such a position that the other could rest its head on its rump;
in this manner they proceeded till noon, when I saw the rock of Gibraltar
very distinctly. The day being clear, notwithstanding my degree of
elevation, the earth's surface appeared just like a map, where land, sea,
lakes, rivers, mountains, and the like were perfectly distinguishable; and
having some knowledge of geography, I was at no loss to determine what
part of the globe I was in.</p>
<p>Whilst I was contemplating this wonderful prospect a dreadful howling
suddenly began all around me, and in a moment I was invested by thousands
of small, black, deformed, frightful looking creatures, who pressed me on
all sides in such a manner that I could neither move hand or foot: but I
had not been in their possession more than ten minutes when I heard the
most delightful music that can possibly be imagined, which was suddenly
changed into a noise the most awful and tremendous, to which the report of
cannon, or the loudest claps of thunder could bear no more proportion than
the gentle zephyrs of the evening to the most dreadful hurricane; but the
shortness of its duration prevented all those fatal effects which a
prolongation of it would certainly have been attended with.</p>
<p>The music commenced, and I saw a great number of the most beautiful little
creatures seize the other party, and throw them with great violence into
something like a snuff-box, which they shut down, and one threw it away
with incredible velocity; then turning to me, he said they whom he had
secured were a party of devils, who had wandered from their proper
habitation; and that the vehicle in which they were enclosed would fly
with unabating rapidity for ten thousand years, when it would burst of its
own accord, and the devils would recover their liberty and faculties, as
at the present moment. He had no sooner finished this relation than the
music ceased, and they all disappeared, leaving me in a state of mind
bordering on the confines of despair.</p>
<p>When I had recomposed myself a little, and looking before me with
inexpressible pleasure, I observed that the eagles were preparing to light
on the peak of Teneriffe: they descended on the top of the rock, but
seeing no possible means of escape if I dismounted determined me to remain
where I was. The eagles sat down seemingly fatigued, when the heat of the
sun soon caused them both to fall asleep, nor did I long resist its
fascinating power. In the cool of the evening, when the sun had retired
below the horizon, I was roused from sleep by the eagle moving under me;
and having stretched myself along its back, I sat up, and reassumed my
travelling position, when they both took wing, and having placed
themselves as before, directed their course to South America. The moon
shining bright during the whole night, I had a fine view of all the
islands in those seas.</p>
<p>About the break of day we reached the great continent of America, that
part called Terra Firma, and descended on the top of a very high mountain.
At this time the moon, far distant in the west, and obscured by dark
clouds, but just afforded light sufficient for me to discover a kind of
shrubbery all around, bearing fruit something like cabbages, which the
eagles began to feed on very eagerly. I endeavoured to discover my
situation, but fogs and passing clouds involved me in the thickest
darkness, and what rendered the scene still more shocking was the
tremendous howling of wild beasts, some of which appeared to be very near:
however, I determined to keep my seat, imagining that the eagle would
carry me away if any of them should make a hostile attempt. When daylight
began to appear, I thought of examining the fruit which I had seen the
eagles eat, and as some was hanging which I could easily come at, I took
out my knife and cut a slice; but how great was my surprise to see that it
had all the appearance of roast beef regularly mixed, both fat and lean! I
tasted it, and found it well flavoured and delicious, then cut several
large slices and put in my pocket, where I found a crust of bread which I
had brought from Margate; took it out, and found three musket-balls that
had been lodged in it on Dover cliff. I extracted them, and cutting a few
slices more, made a hearty meal of bread and cold beef fruit. I then cut
down two of the largest that grew near me, and tying them together with
one of my garters, hung them over the eagle's neck for another occasion,
filling my pockets at the same time. While I was settling these affairs I
observed a large fruit like an inflated bladder, which I wished to try an
experiment upon: and striking my knife into one of them, a fine pure
liquor like Hollands gin rushed out, which the eagles observing, eagerly
drank up from the ground. I cut down the bladder as fast as I could, and
saved about half a pint in the bottom of it, which I tasted, and could not
distinguish it from the best mountain wine. I drank it all, and found
myself greatly refreshed. By this time the eagles began to stagger against
the shrubs. I endeavoured to keep my seat, but was soon thrown to some
distance among the bushes. In attempting to rise I put my hand upon a
large hedgehog, which happened to lie among the grass upon its back: it
instantly closed round my hand, so that I found it impossible to shake it
off. I struck it several times against the ground without effect; but
while I was thus employed I heard a rustling among the shrubbery, and
looking up, I saw a huge animal within three yards of me; I could make no
defence, but held out both my hands, when it rushed upon me, and seized
that on which the hedgehog was fixed. My hand being soon relieved, I ran
to some distance, where I saw the creature suddenly drop down and expire
with the hedgehog in its throat. When the danger was past I went to view
the eagles, and found them lying on the grass fast asleep, being
intoxicated with the liquor they had drank. Indeed, I found myself
considerably elevated by it, and seeing everything quiet, I began to
search for some more, which I soon found; and having cut down two large
bladders, about a gallon each, I tied them together, and hung them over
the neck of the other eagle, and the two smaller ones I tied with a cord
round my own waist. Having secured a good stock of provisions, and
perceiving the eagles begin to recover, I again took my seat. In half an
hour they arose majestically from the place, without taking the least
notice of their incumbrance. Each reassumed its former station; and
directing their course to the northward, they crossed the Gulf of Mexico,
entered North America, and steered directly for the Polar regions, which
gave me the finest opportunity of viewing this vast continent that can
possibly be imagined.</p>
<p>Before we entered the frigid zone the cold began to affect me; but
piercing one of my bladders, I took a draught, and found that it could
make no impression on me afterwards. Passing over Hudson's Bay, I saw
several of the Company's ships lying at anchor, and many tribes of Indians
marching with their furs to market.</p>
<p>By this time I was so reconciled to my seat, and become such an expert
rider, that I could sit up and look around me; but in general I lay along
the eagle's neck, grasping it in my arms, with my hands immersed in its
feathers, in order to keep them warm.</p>
<p>In those cold climates I observed that the eagles flew with greater
rapidity, in order, I suppose, to keep their blood in circulation. In
passing Baffin's Bay I saw several large Greenlandmen to the eastward, and
many surprising mountains of ice in those seas.</p>
<p>While I was surveying these wonders of nature it occurred to me that this
was a good opportunity to discover the north-west passage, if any such
thing existed, and not only obtain the reward offered by government, but
the honour of a discovery pregnant with so many advantages to every
European nation. But while my thoughts were absorbed in this pleasing
reverie I was alarmed by the first eagle striking its head against a solid
transparent substance, and in a moment that which I rode experienced the
same fate, and both fell down seemingly dead.</p>
<p>Here our lives must inevitably have terminated, had not a sense of danger,
and the singularity of my situation, inspired me with a degree of skill
and dexterity which enabled us to fall near two miles perpendicular with
as little inconveniency as if we had been let down with a rope: for no
sooner did I perceive the eagles strike against a frozen cloud, which is
very common near the poles, than (they being close together) I laid myself
along the back of the foremost, and took hold of its wings to keep them
extended, at the same time stretching out my legs behind to support the
wings of the other. This had the desired effect, and we descended very
safe on a mountain of ice, which I supposed to be about three miles above
the level of the sea.</p>
<p>I dismounted, unloaded the eagles, opened one of the bladders, and
administered some of the liquor to each of them, without once considering
that the horrors of destruction seemed to have conspired against me. The
roaring of waves, crashing of ice, and the howling of bears, conspired to
form a scene the most awful and tremendous: but notwithstanding this, my
concern for the recovery of the eagles was so great, that I was insensible
of the danger to which I was exposed. Having rendered them every
assistance in my power, I stood over them in painful anxiety, fully
sensible that it was only by means of them that I could possibly be
delivered from these abodes of despair.</p>
<p>But suddenly a monstrous bear began to roar behind me, with a voice like
thunder. I turned round, and seeing the creature just ready to devour me,
having the bladder of liquor in my hands, through fear I squeezed it so
hard, that it burst, and the liquor flying in the eyes of the animal,
totally deprived it of sight. It instantly turned from me, ran away in a
state of distraction, and soon fell over a precipice of ice into the sea,
where I saw it no more.</p>
<p>The danger being over, I again turned my attention to the eagles, whom I
found in a fair way of recovery, and suspecting that they were faint for
want of victuals, I took one of the beef fruit, cut it into small slices,
and presented them with it, which they devoured with avidity.</p>
<p>Having given them plenty to eat and drink, and disposed of the remainder
of my provision, I took possession of my seat as before. After composing
myself, and adjusting everything in the best manner, I began to eat and
drink very heartily; and through the effects of the mountain wine, as I
called it, was very cheerful, and began to sing a few verses of a song
which I had learned when I was a boy: but the noise soon alarmed the
eagles, who had been asleep, through the quantity of liquor which they had
drank, and they rose seemingly much terrified. Happily for me, however,
when I was feeding them I had accidentally turned their heads towards the
south-east, which course they pursued with a rapid motion. In a few hours
I saw the Western Isles, and soon after had the inexpressible pleasure of
seeing Old England. I took no notice of the seas or islands over which I
passed.</p>
<p>The eagles descended gradually as they drew near the shore, intending, as
I supposed, to alight on one of the Welsh mountains; but when they came to
the distance of about sixty yards two guns were fired at them, loaded with
balls, one of which took place in a bladder of liquor that hung to my
waist; the other entered the breast of the foremost eagle, who fell to the
ground, while that which I rode, having received no injury, flew away with
amazing swiftness.</p>
<p>This circumstance alarmed me exceedingly, and I began to think it was
impossible for me to escape with my life; but recovering a little, I once
more looked down upon the earth, when, to my inexpressible joy, I saw
Margate at a little distance, and the eagle descending on the old tower
whence it had carried me on the morning of the day before. It no sooner
came down than I threw myself off, happy to find that I was once more
restored to the world. The eagle flew away in a few minutes, and I sat
down to compose my fluttering spirits, which I did in a few hours.</p>
<p>I soon paid a visit to my friends, and related these adventures. Amazement
stood in every countenance; their congratulations on my returning in
safety were repeated with an unaffected degree of pleasure, and we passed
the evening as we are doing now, every person present paying the highest
compliments to my COURAGE and VERACITY.</p>
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<h2> THE SECOND VOLUME </h2>
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<h2> PREFACE </h2>
<h3> TO THE SECOND VOLUME </h3>
<p>Baron Munchausen has certainly been productive of much benefit to the
literary world; the numbers of egregious travellers have been such, that
they demanded a very Gulliver to surpass them. If Baron de Tott
dauntlessly discharged an enormous piece of artillery, the Baron
Munchausen has done more; he has taken it and swam with it across the sea.
When travellers are solicitous to be the heroes of their own story, surely
they must admit to superiority, and blush at seeing themselves out-done by
the renowned Munchausen: I doubt whether any one hitherto, Pantagruel,
Gargantua, Captain Lemuel, or De Tott, has been able to out-do our Baron
in this species of excellence: and as at present our curiosity seems much
directed to the interior of Africa, it must be edifying to have the real
relation of Munchausen's adventures there before any further intelligence
arrives; for he seems to adapt himself and his exploits to the spirit of
the times, and recounts what he thinks should be most interesting to his
auditors.</p>
<p>I do not say that the Baron, in the following stories, means a satire on
any political matters whatever. No; but if the reader understands them so,
I cannot help it.</p>
<p>If the Baron meets with a parcel of negro ships carrying whites into
slavery to work upon their plantations in a cold climate, should we
therefore imagine that he intends a reflection on the present traffic in
human flesh? And that, if the negroes should do so, it would be simple
justice, as retaliation is the law of God! If we were to think this a
reflection on any present commercial or political matter, we should be
tempted to imagine, perhaps, some political ideas conveyed in every page,
in every sentence of the whole. Whether such things are or are not the
intentions of the Baron the reader must judge.</p>
<p>We have had not only wonderful travellers in this vile world, but
splenetic travellers, and of these not a few, and also conspicuous enough.
It is a pity, therefore, that the Baron has not endeavoured to surpass
them also in this species of story-telling. Who is it can read the travels
of Smellfungus, as Sterne calls him, without admiration? To think that a
person from the North of Scotland should travel through some of the finest
countries in Europe, and find fault with everything he meets—nothing
to please him! And therefore, methinks, the Tour to the Hebrides is more
excusable, and also perhaps Mr. Twiss's Tour in Ireland. Dr. Johnson, bred
in the luxuriance of London, with more reason should become cross and
splenetic in the bleak and dreary regions of the Hebrides.</p>
<p>The Baron, in the following work, seems to be sometimes philosophical; his
account of the language of the interior of Africa, and its analogy with
that of the inhabitants of the moon, show him to be profoundly versed in
the etymological antiquities of nations, and throw new light upon the
abstruse history of the ancient Scythians, and the Collectanea.</p>
<p>His endeavour to abolish the custom of eating live flesh in the interior
of Africa, as described in Bruce's Travels, is truly humane. But far be it
from me to suppose, that by Gog and Magog and the Lord Mayor's show he
means a satire upon any person or body of persons whatever: or, by a
tedious litigated trial of blind judges and dumb matrons following a wild
goose chase all round the world, he should glance at any trial whatever.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, I must allow that it was extremely presumptuous in
Munchausen to tell half the sovereigns of the world that they were wrong,
and advise them what they ought to do; and that instead of ordering
millions of their subjects to massacre one another, it would be more to
their interest to employ their forces in concert for the general good; as
if he knew better than the Empress of Russia, the Grand Vizier, Prince
Potemkin, or any other butcher in the world. But that he should be a royal
Aristocrat, and take the part of the injured Queen of France in the
present political drama, I am not at all surprised; but I suppose his mind
was fired by reading the pamphlet written by Mr. Burke.</p>
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