<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_X"></SPAN>CHAPTER X</h2>
<br/>
<p>The wind had died away, but the rain continued, torrential in
its downpour, and the mountains grumbled with dying thunder. The
town was blotted out, and fifty feet ahead of the hissing nose of
the launch Alan could see only a gray wall. Water ran in streams
from his rubber slicker, and Olaf's great beard was dripping like a
wet rag. He was like a huge gargoyle at the wheel, and in the face
of impenetrable gloom he opened speed until the <i>Norden</i> was
shooting with the swiftness of a torpedo through the sea.</p>
<p>In Olaf's cabin Alan had listened to the folly of expecting to
find Mary Standish. Between Eyak River and Katalla was a mainland
of battered reefs and rocks and an archipelago of islands in which
a pirate fleet might have found a hundred hiding-places. In his
experience of twenty years Ericksen had never known of the finding
of a body washed ashore, and he stated firmly his belief that the
girl was at the bottom of the sea. But the impulse to go on grew no
less in Alan. It quickened with the straining eagerness of the
<i>Norden</i> as the slim craft leaped through the water.</p>
<p>Even the drone of thunder and the beat of rain urged him on. To
him there was nothing absurd in the quest he was about to make. It
was the least he could do, and the only honest thing he could do,
he kept telling himself. And there was a chance that he would find
her. All through his life had run that element of chance; usually
it was against odds he had won, and there rode with him in the gray
dawn a conviction he was going to win now--that he would find Mary
Standish somewhere in the sea or along the coast between Eyak River
and the first of the islands against which the shoreward current
drifted. And when he found her--</p>
<p>He had not gone beyond that. But it pressed upon him now, and in
moments it overcame him, and he saw her in a way which he was
fighting to keep out of his mind. Death had given a vivid clearness
to his mental pictures of her. A strip of white beach persisted in
his mind, and waiting for him on this beach was the slim body of
the girl, her pale face turned up to the morning sun, her long hair
streaming over the sand. It was a vision that choked him, and he
struggled to keep away from it. If he found her like that, he knew,
at last, what he would do. It was the final crumbling away of
something inside him, the breaking down of that other Alan Holt
whose negative laws and self-imposed blindness had sent Mary
Standish to her death.</p>
<p>Truth seemed to mock at him, flaying him for that invulnerable
poise in which he had taken such an egotistical pride. For she had
come to <i>him</i> in her hour of trouble, and there were five
hundred others aboard the <i>Nome</i>. She had believed in him, had
given him her friendship and her confidence, and at the last had
placed her life in his hands. And when he had failed her, she had
not gone to another. She had kept her word, proving to him she was
not a liar and a fraud, and he knew at last the courage of
womanhood and the truth of her words, "You will
understand--tomorrow."</p>
<p>He kept the fight within himself. Olaf did not see it as the
dawn lightened swiftly into the beginning of day. There was no
change in the tense lines of his face and the grim resolution in
his eyes. And Olaf did not press his folly upon him, but kept the
<i>Norden</i> pointed seaward, adding still greater speed as the
huge shadow of the headland loomed up in the direction of
Hinchinbrook Island. With increasing day the rain subsided; it fell
in a drizzle for a time and then stopped. Alan threw off his
slicker and wiped the water from his eyes and hair. White mists
began to rise, and through them shot faint rose-gleams of light.
Olaf grunted approbation as he wrung water from his beard. The sun
was breaking through over the mountain tops, and straight above, as
the mist dissolved, was radiant blue sky.</p>
<p>The miracle of change came swiftly in the next half-hour. Storm
had washed the air until it was like tonic; a salty perfume rose
from the sea; and Olaf stood up and stretched himself and shook the
wet from his body as he drank the sweetness into his lungs.
Shoreward Alan saw the mountains taking form, and one after another
they rose up like living things, their crests catching the fire of
the sun. Dark inundations of forest took up the shimmering gleam,
green slopes rolled out from behind veils of smoking vapor, and
suddenly--in a final triumph of the sun--the Alaskan coast lay
before him in all its glory.</p>
<p>The Swede made a great gesture of exultation with his free arm,
grinning at his companion, pride and the joy of living in his
bearded face. But in Alan's there was no change. Dully he sensed
the wonder of day and of sunlight breaking over the mighty ranges
to the sea, but something was missing. The soul of it was gone, and
the old thrill was dead. He felt the tragedy of it, and his lips
tightened even as he met the other's smile, for he no longer made
an effort to blind himself to the truth.</p>
<p>Olaf began to guess deeply at that truth, now that he could see
Alan's face in the pitiless light of the day, and after a little
the thing lay naked in his mind. The quest was not a matter of
duty, nor was it inspired by the captain of the <i>Nome</i>, as
Alan had given him reason to believe. There was more than grimness
in the other's face, and a strange sort of sickness lay in his
eyes. A little later he observed the straining eagerness with which
those eyes scanned the softly undulating surface of the sea.</p>
<p>At last he said, "If Captain Rifle was right, the girl went
overboard <i>out there</i>," and he pointed.</p>
<p>Alan stood up.</p>
<p>"But she wouldn't be there now," Olaf added.</p>
<p>In his heart he believed she was, straight down--at the bottom.
He turned his boat shoreward. Creeping out from the shadow of the
mountains was the white sand of the beach three or four miles away.
A quarter of an hour later a spiral of smoke detached itself from
the rocks and timber that came down close to the sea.</p>
<p>"That's McCormick's," he said.</p>
<p>Alan made no answer. Through Olaf's binoculars he picked out the
Scotchman's cabin. It was Sandy McCormick, Olaf had assured him,
who knew every eddy and drift in fifty miles of coast, and with his
eyes shut could find Mary Standish if she came ashore. And it was
Sandy who came down to greet them when Ericksen dropped his anchor
in shallow water.</p>
<p>They leaped out, thigh-deep, and waded to the beach, and in the
door of the cabin beyond Alan saw a woman looking down at them
wonderingly. Sandy himself was young and ruddy-faced, more like a
boy than a man. They shook hands. Then Alan told of the tragedy
aboard the <i>Nome</i> and what his mission was. He made a great
effort to speak calmly, and believed that he succeeded. Certainly
there was no break of emotion in his cold, even voice, and at the
same time no possibility of evading its deadly earnestness.
McCormick, whose means of livelihood were frequently more
unsubstantial than real, listened to the offer of pecuniary reward
for his services with something like shock. Fifty dollars a day for
his time, and an additional five thousand dollars if he found the
girl's body.</p>
<p>To Alan the sums meant nothing. He was not measuring dollars,
and if he had said ten thousand or twenty thousand, the detail of
price would not have impressed him as important. He possessed as
much money as that in the Nome banks, and a little more, and had
the thing been practicable he would as willingly have offered his
reindeer herds could they have guaranteed him the possession of
what he sought. In Olaf's face McCormick caught a look which
explained the situation a little. Alan Holt was not mad. He was as
any other man might be who had lost the most precious thing in the
world. And unconsciously, as he pledged his services in acceptance
of the offer, he glanced in the direction of the little woman
standing in the doorway of the cabin.</p>
<p>Alan met her. She was a quiet, sweet-looking girl-woman. She
smiled gravely at Olaf, gave her hand to Alan, and her blue eyes
dilated when she heard what had happened aboard the <i>Nome</i>.
Alan left the three together and returned to the beach, while
between the loading and the lighting of his pipe the Swede told
what he had guessed--that this girl whose body would never be
washed ashore was the beginning and the end of the world to Alan
Holt.</p>
<p>For many miles they searched the beach that day, while Sandy
McCormick skirmished among the islands south and eastward in a
light shore-launch. He was, in a way, a Paul Revere spreading
intelligence, and with Scotch canniness made a good bargain for
himself. In a dozen cabins he left details of the drowning and
offered a reward of five hundred dollars for the finding of the
body, so that twenty men and boys and half as many women were
seeking before nightfall.</p>
<p>"And remember," Sandy told each of them, "the chances are she'll
wash ashore sometime between tomorrow and three days later, if she
comes ashore at all."</p>
<p>In the dusk of that first day Alan found himself ten miles up
the coast. He was alone, for Olaf Ericksen had gone in the opposite
direction. It was a different Alan who watched the setting sun
dipping into the western sea, with the golden slopes of the
mountains reflecting its glory behind him. It was as if he had
passed through a great sickness, and up from the earth of his own
beloved land had crept slowly into his body and soul a new
understanding of life. There was despair in his face, but it was a
gentler thing now. The harsh lines of an obstinate will were gone
from about his mouth, his eyes no longer concealed their grief, and
there was something in his attitude of a man chastened by a
consuming fire. He retraced his steps through deepening twilight,
and with each mile of his questing return there grew in him that
something which had come to him out of death, and which he knew
would never leave him. And with this change the droning softness of
the night itself seemed to whisper that the sea would not give up
its dead.</p>
<p>Olaf and Sandy McCormick and Sandy's wife were in the cabin when
he returned at midnight. He was exhausted. Seven months in the
States had softened him, he explained. He did not inquire how
successful the others had been. He knew. The woman's eyes told him,
the almost mothering eagerness in them when he came through the
door. She had coffee and food ready for him, and he forced himself
to eat. Sandy gave a report of what he had done, and Olaf smoked
his pipe and tried to speak cheerfully of the splendid weather that
was coming tomorrow. Not one of them spoke of Mary Standish.</p>
<p>Alan felt the strain they were under and knew his presence was
the cause of it, so he lighted his own pipe after eating and talked
to Ellen McCormick about the splendor of the mountains back of Eyak
River, and how fortunate she was to have her home in this little
corner of paradise. He caught a flash of something unspoken in her
eyes. It was a lonely place for a woman, alone, without children,
and he spoke about children to Sandy, smiling. They should have
children--a lot of them. Sandy blushed, and Olaf let out a boom of
laughter. But the woman's face was unflushed and serious; only her
eyes betrayed her, something wistful and appealing in them as she
looked at Sandy.</p>
<p>"We're building a new cabin," he said, "and there's two rooms in
it specially for kids."</p>
<p>There was pride in his voice as he made pretense to light a pipe
that was already lighted, and pride in the look he gave his young
wife. A moment later Ellen McCormick deftly covered with her apron
something which lay on a little table near the door through which
Alan had to pass to enter his sleeping-room. Olaf's eyes twinkled.
But Alan did not see. Only he knew there should be children here,
where there was surely love. It did not occur to him as being
strange that he, Alan Holt, should think of such a matter at
all.</p>
<p>The next morning the search was resumed. Sandy drew a crude map
of certain hidden places up the east coast where drifts and
cross-currents tossed the flotsam of the sea, and Alan set out for
these shores with Olaf at the wheel of the <i>Norden</i>. It was
sunset when they returned, and in the calm of a wonderful evening,
with the comforting peace of the mountains smiling down at them,
Olaf believed the time had come to speak what was in his mind. He
spoke first of the weird tricks of the Alaskan waters, and of
strange forces deep down under the surface which he had never had
explained to him, and of how he had lost a cask once upon a time,
and a week later had run upon it well upon its way to Japan. He
emphasized the hide-and-seek playfulness of the undertows and the
treachery of them.</p>
<p>Then he came bluntly to the point of the matter. It would be
better if Mary Standish never did come ashore. It would be
days--probably weeks--if it ever happened at all, and there would
be nothing about her for Alan to recognize. Better a peaceful
resting-place at the bottom of the sea. That was what he called
it--"a peaceful resting-place"--and in his earnestness to soothe
another's grief he blundered still more deeply into the horror of
it all, describing certain details of what flesh and bone could and
could not stand, until Alan felt like clubbing him beyond the power
of speech. He was glad when he saw the McCormick cabin.</p>
<p>Sandy was waiting for them when they waded ashore. Something
unusual was in his face, Alan thought, and for a moment his heart
waited in suspense. But the Scotchman shook his head negatively and
went close to Olaf Ericksen. Alan did not see the look that passed
between them. He went to the cabin, and Ellen McCormick put a hand
on his arm when he entered. It was an unusual thing for her to do.
And there was a glow in her eyes which had not been there last
night, and a flush in her cheeks, and a new, strange note in her
voice when she spoke to him. It was almost exultation, something
she was trying to keep back.</p>
<p>"You--you didn't find her?" she asked.</p>
<p>"No." His voice was tired and a little old. "Do you think I
shall ever find her?"</p>
<p>"Not as you have expected," she answered quietly. "She will
never come like that." She seemed to be making an effort. "You--you
would give a great deal to have her back, Mr. Holt?"</p>
<p>Her question was childish in its absurdity, and she was like a
child looking at him as she did in this moment. He forced a smile
to his lips and nodded.</p>
<p>"Of course. Everything I possess."</p>
<p>"You--you--loved her--"</p>
<p>Her voice trembled. It was odd she should ask these questions.
But the probing did not sting him; it was not a woman's curiosity
that inspired them, and the comforting softness in her voice did
him good. He had not realized before how much he wanted to answer
that question, not only for himself, but for someone
else--aloud.</p>
<p>"Yes, I did."</p>
<p>The confession almost startled him. It seemed an amazing
confidence to be making under any circumstances, and especially
upon such brief acquaintance. But he said no more, though in Ellen
McCormick's face and eyes was a tremulous expectancy. He stepped
into the little room which had been his sleeping place, and
returned with his dunnage-sack. Out of this he took the bag in
which were Mary Standish's belongings, and gave it to Sandy's wife.
It was a matter of business now, and he tried to speak in a
businesslike way.</p>
<p>"Her things are inside. I got them in her cabin. If you find
her, after I am gone, you will need them. You understand, of
course. And if you don't find her, keep them for me. I shall return
some day." It seemed hard for him to give his simple instructions.
He went on: "I don't think I shall stay any longer, but I will
leave a certified check at Cordova, and it will be turned over to
your husband when she is found. And if you do find her, you will
look after her yourself, won't you, Mrs. McCormick?"</p>
<p>Ellen McCormick choked a little as she answered him, promising
to do what he asked. He would always remember her as a sympathetic
little thing, and half an hour later, after he had explained
everything to Sandy, he wished her happiness when he took her hand
in saying good-by. Her hand was trembling. He wondered at it and
said something to Sandy about the priceless value of a happiness
such as his, as they went down to the beach.</p>
<p>The velvety darkness of the sky was athrob with the heart-beat
of stars, when the <i>Norden's</i> shimmering trail led once more
out to sea. Alan looked up at them, and his mind groped strangely
in the infinity that lay above him. He had never measured it
before. Life had been too full. But now it seemed so vast, and his
range in the tundras so far away, that a great loneliness seized
upon him as he turned his eyes to look back at the dimly white
shore-line dissolving swiftly in the gloom that lay beneath the
mountains.</p>
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