<div><span class='pageno' title='61' id='Page_61'></span><h1>CHAPTER V</h1></div>
<p class='noindent'><span class='dropcap'>T</span><span class='sc'>o</span> my nephew Ephraim for his soul’s good I
bequeath my cellar of wine which I adjure
him to drink with care, thought, diligence,
and appreciation, being convinced that a sound judge
of wine is, or is on the way to becoming what
my nephew is not, a judge of men and affairs.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Quixtus stared at the ironical words written in
Mathew Quixtus’s sharp precise handwriting, and
turned with a grey face to the lawyer who had pointed
them out.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Is that the only reference to me in the will, Mr.
Henslow?” he asked.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Unfortunately, yes, Dr. Quixtus. You can see
for yourself.” He handed Quixtus the document.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Mathew Quixtus had bequeathed large sums of
money to charities, smaller sums to old servants, the
wine to Ephraim, and the residue of his estate to a
Quixtus unknown to Ephraim, save by hearsay, who
had settled thirty years before in New York. Even
Tommy Burgrave, with whom he had been on good
terms, was not mentioned. But he had quarrelled
years before with his niece, Tommy’s mother, for
making an impecunious marriage, and, to do him justice,
had never promised the boy anything. The will was
dated a few weeks back, and had been witnessed by
the butler and the coachman.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I should like you to understand, Dr. Quixtus,”
said Henslow, “that until we found that envelope
I had no idea that your uncle had made a fresh will.
I came here with the old one in my hand, which I
drew up and which has been in my office-safe for
fifteen years. Under that, I need not tell you, you
were, with the exception of a few trifling legacies,
the sole legatee. I am deeply grieved.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Let me see that date again,” said Quixtus.</p>
<p class='pindent'>He pressed his hands to his eyes and thought. It
was the day before his arrival on his last visit.</p>
<p class='pindent'>The telegram announcing Mathew Quixtus’s sudden
death had brought a gleam of light into a soul which
for a week had been black with misery. It awakened
him to a sense of outer things. A sincere affection
for the old man had been a lifelong habit. It was
a shock to realise that he was no longer alive. Besides
having always unconsciously taken a child’s view of
death, he felt genuinely sorry, for his uncle’s sake,
that he should have died. Impulses of pity, tenderness,
regret, stirred in his deadened heart. He forthwith
set out for Devonshire, and when he arrived at Croxton,
stood over the pinched waxen face till the tears came
into his eyes.</p>
<p class='pindent'>He had summoned Tommy Burgrave, the only other
member of the family in England, but Tommy had not
been able to attend. He had caught cold while painting
in the open air, and was in bed with a slight attack
of congestion of the lungs. Quixtus was alone in the
great house. With the aid of Henslow he made the
funeral arrangements. The old man was laid to rest
in the quiet churchyard of Croxton. Half the county
came to pay their tribute to his memory, and shook
Quixtus by the hand. Then he came back to the
house, and in the presence of one or two of the old
servants, the will was read.</p>
<p class='pindent'>It had been dated the day before his arrival on his
last visit. The thing had been written and signed
and witnessed and sealed, and was lying in that locked
drawer in the library all the time that the old man
was welcoming him, flattering him, showing him
deference. All the suavity and deference had been
mockery. The old man had made him a notorious
geck and gull.</p>
<p class='pindent'>His pale blue eyes hardened, and he turned an
expressionless face to the lawyer.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I’m afraid it would not be possible,” said Henslow,
“to have the will set aside on the ground of, say—senility—on
the part of the testator.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“My uncle had every faculty at its keenest when
he wrote it,” said Quixtus, “including that of merciless
cruelty.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“It was a heartless jest,” the lawyer agreed.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“If you will do me a service, Mr. Henslow,
you might be kind enough to instruct one of the
servants to pack up my bag and forward it to
my London address. I am going now to the railway
station.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>The lawyer looked at his watch and put out a
detaining hand.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“There’s not a decent train for two or three hours.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I would rather,” said Quixtus, “ride a tortoise
home than stay in this house another moment.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>He walked out of the room and out of the house,
and after waiting at the station whence he despatched
a telegram to his housekeeper, who was not expecting
him back for two or three days, took the first train—a
slow one—to London.</p>
<p class='pindent'>In his corner of the railway carriage the much-afflicted
man sat motionless, brooding. Everything
had happened that could shake to its foundations a
man’s faith in humanity, and swallow it up in abysmal
darkness. Suddenly, as though by a prearranged
design—as we know was the case with his forerunner
in the land of Uz—cataclysm after cataclysm had
revealed to him the essential baseness, treachery,
cruelty of mankind. For in his eyes these were proved
to be essential qualities. Had they not been revealed
to him, not by fitful gleams, but in one steady lurid
glare, in the nature of those who had been nearest
to him in the world—Angela, Will Hammersley,
Marrable, Huckaby, Vandermeer, Billiter, Mathew
Quixtus? If the same hell-streak ran through the
souls of these, surely it must run through the souls
of all the sons and daughters of Adam. Now here
came the great puzzle. Why should he, Ephraim
Quixtus, (as far as he could tell) vary from the unkindly
race of man? Why hitherto had baseness, treachery,
and cruelty been as foreign to his nature as an overpowering
inclination towards arson or homicide?
Why had he been unequipped with these qualities
which appeared to serve mortals as weapons wherewith
to fight the common battle of life? The why, he
could not tell. That he had them not, was obvious.
That he had gone to the wall through lack of them was
obvious, too. Instead of the dagger of baseness, the
sword of cruelty, the shield of treachery, all finely
tempered implements of war, he had been fighting
with the wooden lath of virtue and the brawn-buckler
of trust. Armed as he should have been, he would
have out-manœuvred Marrable at his own game, kept
his wife in chaste and wholesome terror of his jealousy,
sent Huckaby and Company long since to the limbo
where they belonged, deluded his uncle into the belief
that he was a devil of a fellow, and now be standing
with flapping wings and crowing voice triumphant
on this dunghill of a world. But he had been hopelessly
outmatched. Whoever had taken upon himself
the responsibility of equipping him for the battle of
life had been guilty of incredible negligence. But
on whom could he call to remedy this defect? Men
called on the Unknown God to make them good; but
it would be idiotic as well as blasphemous to call
on Him to make one bad. How, then, were the
essential qualities of baseness, treachery, and cruelty
to be captured and brought into his armoury? Perhaps
the Devil might help. But we are so matter-of-fact
and scientific in these days that even the simple soul
of Quixtus could not quite believe in his existence. If
he had lived in the Middle Ages (so in scholarly gloom
ran his fancy) he could have drawn circles and pentagrams
and things on the floor, and uttered the incantations,
and all the hierarchy of hell would have been
at his command, Satanas, Lucifer, Mephistopheles,
Asmodeus, Samael, Asael, Beelzebub, Azazel, Macathiel. . . . Quixtus
rather leaned towards Macathiel—the
name suggested a merciless, bowelless, high-cheek-boned
devil in a kilt——</p>
<p class='pindent'>Impatiently he shook his thoughts free from the
fantastic channel into which they had wandered and
brought them back into the ever-thickening slough
of his soul. The train lumbered on, stopping at
pretty wayside stations where fresh-faced folk with
awkward gait and soft deep voices clattered cheerily
past Quixtus’s windows on their way to or from the
third-class carriages, or at the noisier, bustling stations
of large towns. Now and then a well-dressed traveller
invaded his solitude for a short distance. But Quixtus
sat in his remote corner seeing, hearing nothing,
brooding on the baseness, treachery, and cruelty of
mankind. He had come to the end of love, the end
of trust, the end of friendship. When the shapes
of those who were still loyal to him flitted across his
darkened fancy he cursed them in his heart. They
were as corrupt as the rest. That they had not been
found out in their villainy only proved a thicker mask
of hypocrisy. He had finished with them all. If
he had been a more choleric man gifted with the power
of picturesque vehemence of language he might have
outrivalled Timon of Athens in the denunciations of
his fellows. It must be a relief to any one in such a
frame of mind to stand up and, with violent gestures,
express his views in terms of sciatica, itches, blains,
leprosy, venomed worms and ulcerous sores, and to
call upon the blessed breeding sun to draw from the
earth rotten humidity, and below his sister’s orb to
infect the air. He knows exactly what he feels, gives
it full artistic expression, and finds himself all the
better for it. But Quixtus, inarticulate, had no such
comfort. Indeed, he could hardly have expressed the
welter of horror, hate, and misery that was his moral
being, in any form of speech whatever. As the train
rumbled on, the phrase “Evil be thou my good”
wove itself into the rhythm of the machinery. He
let it sing dully and stupidly in his ears, and his mind
worked subconsciously back to Macathiel.</p>
<p class='pindent'>As yet he had imagined no future attitude towards
life. His soul was in a state of negation. The insistent
invocation of Evil was but a catchword,
irritating his brain and having no real significance.
At the most he envisaged the future as a period of
inactive misanthropy and suspicion. He had as yet
no stirrings to action. On the other hand, he did not,
like Job, after the first series of afflictions, rend his
clothes, shave his head, and bear his reverses with
pious resignation.</p>
<p class='pindent'>The train arrived an hour late, as slow trains are
apt to do, and it was nearly half-past eleven when he
reached his house in Russell Square. He opened the
door with his latchkey. The hall was dark, contrary
to custom. He switched on the light, and, turning,
saw that the letter-box had not been cleared.
Mechanically he took out the letters, and beneath
the hall lamp glanced at the outside of the envelopes.
Among them was the telegram he had sent from
Devonshire.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Even a man wallowing in the deepest abysses of
spiritual misery needs food; and when he finds that
a telegram ordering supper (for his return was unexpected)
has not been opened, he may be pardoned
purely material disappointment and irritation. Mrs.
Pennycook, the housekeeper, must have profited by
his absence to take a holiday. But what business
had she to take a holiday and leave the house uncared
for at that time of night? For, if she had returned,
she would have lit the hall-light, and cleared the
letter-box. He resigned himself peevishly to the
prospect of a biscuit and a whisky-and-soda in the
little back room where he ate his meals.</p>
<p class='pindent'>He strode down the passage to the head of the
kitchen stairs and opened the study door. A glare
of light met his eyes, and a moment afterwards something
else. This was Mrs. Pennycook in an armchair,
sleeping a bedraggled sleep with two empty quart
bottles of champagne and an empty bottle of whisky
by her side. He shook her hard by the shoulders;
but beyond stertorous and jerky breaths the blissful
lady showed no signs of animation.</p>
<p class='pindent'>It was then that a constricting thread snapped in
Quixtus’s brain. It was then, as if by a trick of magic,
that all the vaguely billowing horrors, disillusions,
disgusts, resentments and hatreds co-ordinated themselves
into a scheme of fierce vividness.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Just as the boils made Job, who had borne the
annihilation of his family with equanimity, open his
mouth and curse his day, so did a drunken servant,
who neglected to give him his supper, awaken Ephraim
Quixtus to the glorious thrill of a remorseless,
relentless malignity.</p>
<p class='pindent'>He threw up his hands and laughed aloud, peals
of unearthly laughter that woke the echoes of the
empty house, that woke the canary in its cage by the
window, causing it to utter a few protesting “cheeps,”
that arrested the policeman on his beat outside, that
did everything human laughter in the way of noise
can do, even stimulating the blissful lady to open
half a glazed eye for the fraction of a second. After
his paroxysm had subsided, he looked at the woman
for a moment, and then with an air of peculiar
malevolence took a sheet of note-paper from a small
writing-table beneath the canary’s cage and wrote
on it:</p>
<p class='pindent'>“<span class='it'>Let me never see your face again.—E. Q.</span>”</p>
<p class='pindent'>This, by the aid of a hairpin that had fallen into
her lap, he pinned to her apron. Then, with another
laugh, he left her beneath the glare of the light, and
went out into the street. He was thrilled, like a
drunken man, with a new sense of life. Years had
fallen from his shoulders. He had solved the riddle
of the world. Baseness, treachery, cruelty, he felt
them pulsating in his heart with a maddening joy of
existence. Evil was his good. He was no longer
even a base, treacherous, cruel man. He was a devil
incarnate. The long exultant years in front of him
would be spent in deeds of shame and crime and
unprecedented wickedness. If there was a throne
to be waded to through slaughter, through slaughter
would he wade to it. He would shut the gates of
Mercy on mankind. He held out both hands in front
of him with stiffened outspread fingers. If only there
was a human throat between them, how they would
close around it, how he would gloat over the dying
agony! Caligula was the man for him. He regretted
his untimely death. What a colleague could have
been made of the fiend who wished that the whole
human race had one neck so that it could be severed
at one blow!</p>
<p class='pindent'>He had reached this stage in his exultant reflections
when he found himself outside a restaurant which
he had never entered, at the Oxford Street end of
the Tottenham Court Road. He remembered that
he was hungry; that a new-born spirit of wickedness
must be fed. He went in, unconscious of the company
or the surroundings, and ordered supper. The waiter
said that it was nearly closing time. Quixtus called
for a plate of cold beef and a whisky-and-soda. He
devoured the meat ravenously, forgetful of the bread
by his side, and drank the drink at a gulp. Having
lit a cigar, he threw half a sovereign on the table
and walked out. He walked along the streets heedless
of direction, down Shaftesbury Avenue, across Piccadilly
Circus blazing with light, through Leicester
Square, along the still hurrying Strand to Fleet Street
noiseless and empty, his brain on fire, weaving exquisite
fabrics of devilry. Suddenly he halted on a glorious
thought. Why should he not begin there and then?
The whole of London, with its crime and sin and
rottenness, lay before him. He retraced his steps
back to the Babylon of the West. What could he
do? Where could he find adequate wickedness?
When he reached Charing Cross again it was dark
and deserted. A square mile of London has every
night about an hour of tearing, surging, hectic life.
Then all of a sudden the thousands of folk are swept
away to the four comers of the mighty city, and all
is still. A woman, as Quixtus passed, quickened her
pace and murmured words. Here was a partner in
wickedness to his hand. But the flesh of the delicately
fibred man revolted simultaneously with the thought.
No. That did not come within his scheme of wickedness.
He slipped a coin into the woman’s palm,
because she looked so forlorn, and went his way.
She was useless for his purpose. What he sought
was some occasion for pitilessness, for doing evil to
his fellow creatures. A fine rain began to fall; but
he heeded it not, burning with the sense of adventure.
A reminiscence of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde crossed
his mind. Hyde, like Caligula, was also the man
for him. Didn’t he once throw a child down in a
lonely street and stamp on it?</p>
<p class='pindent'>He walked and walked through the now silent
places, and the more he walked the less opening for
wickedness did he see. The potentialities of Babylon
appeared to him overrated. After a wide and aimless
détour he found himself again at Charing Cross. He
struck down Whitehall. But in Whitehall and Parliament
Street, the stately palaces on either side, vast
museums of an Empire’s decorum, forbade the
suggestion of wickedness. The belated omnibuses
and cabs that passed along were invested with a
momentary hush of respectability. He turned up the
Thames Embankment and saw the mass of the great
buildings with here and there patches of lighted
windows showing above the tree-tops of the gardens,
the benches below filled with huddled sodden shapes
of human misery, the broad silent thoroughfares, the
parapet, the dimly flowing river below—a black mirror
marked by streaks of light, reflections from lamps
on parapet and bridges, the low-lying wharves on
the opposite side swallowed up in blackness—and no
attractive wickedness was apparent; nor was there
any on the great bridge, disturbed only by the slow
waggons mountains high bringing food for the insatiable
multitude of London, and lumbering on in endless
trail with an impressive fatefulness; nor even at the
coffee-stall at the corner of the Waterloo Bridge
Road, its damp little swarm of frequenters clustering
to it like bees, their faces illuminated by the segment
of light cast by the reflector at the back of the stall,
all harmlessly drinking cocoa or wistfully watching
others drink it. For a moment he thought of joining
the swarm, as some of the faces looked alluringly
vile; but the inbred instinct of fastidiousness made
him pass it by. He plunged into the unsavoury
streets beyond. They were still and ghostly. All
things diabolical could no doubt be found behind those
silent windows; but at two o’clock in the morning
sin is generally asleep, and sleeping sin and sleeping
virtue are as alike as two pins. Meanwhile the fine rain
fell unceasingly, and the Earnest Seeker after Wickedness
began to feel wet and chilly.</p>
<p class='pindent'>This is a degenerate age. A couple of centuries
ago Quixtus could have manned a ship with cut-throats,
hoisted the skull and cross-bones, and become
the Terror of the Seas. Or, at a more recent date,
if he had been a Corsican he could have taken his
gun and gone into the maquis and declared war on
the island. If he had lived in the fourteenth century
he could have become a condottiere after the fashion
of the gentle Duke Guarnieri, who, wearing on his
breast a silver badge with the inscription “The Enemy
of God, of Pity, and of Mercy,” gained for himself
enviable unpopularity in Northern Italy. As a Malay,
he could have taken a queerly curving, businesslike
knife and run amuck, to his great personal satisfaction.
In prehistoric times, he could have sat for a couple
of delicious months in a cave, polishing and sharpening
a beautiful axe-head, and, having fitted it to its haft,
have gone forth and (probably skulking behind trees
so as to get his victims in the rear) have had as gorgeous
a time as was given to prehistoric man to imagine.
But nowadays, who can do these delightful, vindictive,
and misanthropical things with any feeling of security?
If Quixtus, obeying a logically developed impulse;
had slaughtered a young man in evening dress in
Piccadilly, he most indubitably would have been
hung, to say nothing of being subjected to all the
sordid procedure of a trial for murder.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Nor is this all. Owing to some flaw in our system
of education, Quixtus had not been trained to deeds
of violence; no one had even set before him the
theoretical philosophy of the subject. You may
argue, I am aware, that we use other weapons now
than the cutlass of the pirate or the stone-axe of the
quaternary age; we have the subtler vengeance of
voice and pen, which can give a more exquisite finish
to the devastation of human lives. But I would remind
you that Quixtus, through the neglect of his legal
studies and practice, was ignorant of the ordinary laws
of chicane, and of the elementary principles of financial
dishonesty that guided the nefariousness of folk like
“Gehenna, Unlimited.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>It must be admitted, therefore, that Quixtus entered
on his career of depravity greatly handicapped.</p>
<p class='pindent'>The grey light of a hopeless May dawn was just
beginning to outline the towers and spires of Westminster
against the sky when Quixtus found himself
by the Westminster Hospital. He was damp and chill,
somewhat depressed. The thrill of adventure had
passed away, leaving disappointment and a little
disillusion in its place. He was also physically fatigued,
and his shoulders and feet ached. One ghostly hansom-cab
stood on the rank, the horse drooping its dejected
head into a lean nosebag, the driver asleep inside.
Quixtus resolved to arouse the man from his slumbers,
and, abandoning the pursuit of evil for the night,
drive home to Russell Square. But as he was crossing
the road towards the vehicle, a miserable object,
starting up from the earth, ran by his side and addressed
him in a voice so hoarse that it scarcely rose above
a whisper.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“For Gord’s sake, guv’nor, spare a poor man a
copper or two. I’ve not tasted food for twenty-four
hours.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Quixtus stopped, his instinctive fingers diving into
his pence-pocket. Suddenly an idea struck him.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You must have led a very evil life,” said he, “to
have come to this stage of destitution.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Whatcher gettin’ at?” growled the applicant,
one eye fixed suspiciously on Quixtus’s face, the other
on the fumbling hand.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I’m not going to preach to you—far from it,” said
Quixtus; “but I should like to know. You must
have seen a great deal of wickedness in your time.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“If you arsk me,” opined the man, “there’s
nothing but wickedness in this blankety blank
world.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>He did not say “blankety blank,” but used other
and more lurid epithets which, though they were not
exactly the ones that Quixtus himself would have
chosen, at least showed him that his companion and
himself were agreed on their fundamental conception
of the universe.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“If you will tell me where I can find some,” he said,
“I will give you half a crown.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>A glimmer of astonished interest lit up the man’s
dull eyes. “Whatcher want to know for?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“That’s my business,” said Quixtus.</p>
<p class='pindent'>The cabman, suddenly awakened, saw the possibility
of a fare. He clambered out of the vehicle.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Cab, sir?” he called across the road.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Yes,” said Quixtus.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“ ‘Arf a crown?” said the battered man.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Certainly,” said Quixtus.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Then I’ll tell yer, guv’nor. I’ve been a bookie’s
tout, see? Not a slap-up bookie in the ring—but
an outside one—one what did a bit of welshing when
he could, see?—and what I say is, that I seed more
wickedness there than anywhere else. If you want
to see blankety blank wickedness you go on the turf.”
He cleared his throat, but his whisper had grown
almost inaudible. “I’ve gone and lost my voice,”
he said.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Quixtus looked at the drenched, starved, voiceless,
unshorn horror of a man standing outcast and dying
of want and wickedness in the grey dawn, under the
shadow of the central symbols of the pomp and majesty
of England.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You look very ill,” said he.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Consumpshon,” breathed the man.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Quixtus shivered. The cabman, who had hastily
dispossessed the dejected horse of the nosebag, had
climbed into his dicky and was swinging the cab
round.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I thank you very much for your information,”
said Quixtus. “Here’s half a sovereign.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Voicelessness and wonder provoked an inarticulate
wheeze like the spitting of a cat. The man was still
gaping at the unaccustomed coin in his hand when
the cab drove off. But Quixtus had not been many
minutes on his way when a thought smote him like
a sledge-hammer. He brought his fist down furiously
on the leathern seat.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“What a fool! What a monumental fool I’ve
been!” he cried.</p>
<p class='pindent'>He had just realised that the devil had offered him
as pretty a little chance of sheer wickedness as could
be met with on a May morning, which he had not
taken. Instead of giving the man ten shillings, he
ought to have laughed in his face, taunted him with
his emaciation and driven off without paying the
half-crown he had promised. To have let the very
first opportunity slip through his fingers! He would
have to wear a badge like that of the gentle Duke
Guarnieri to keep his wits from wandering.</p>
<p class='pindent'>When he reached home he looked for a moment
into the little room at the head of the kitchen stairs.
The Blissful One still slept, a happy smile on her face,
and the paper pinned to her apron.</p>
<p class='pindent'>There was surely some chance of wickedness here.
Quixtus <span class='it'>furens</span> scratched an inventive head. Suppose
he carried her outside and set her on the doorstep.
He regarded her critically. She was buxom—about
twelve stone. He was a spare and unathletic man.
A great yawn interrupted his speculations, and turning
off the light he stumbled off sleepily and wearily to
bed.</p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />