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Stories from the Trenches: Funny Tales the Soldiers Tell

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[68] <h2>STORY OF OUR FIRST SHOT</h2> “I PICKED that shell right up as it came out of the gun—I saw it go through the air in its flight, and I saw it strike a foot in front of that periscope!” That is the way Lieut. Bruce R. Ware, Jr., U. S. N., who commanded the gun crew of the steamship Mongolia, told of the first American shot fired in the war at a German submarine. He related the story at a testimonial dinner given to him and to Capt. Emery Rice, of the Mongolia, upon the arrival of the steamship at New York. The dinner was attended by many persons prominent in business, steamship, and naval circles, some having traveled hundreds of miles to be present. As reported by the New York Times, Lieutenant Ware told the story as follows: At 5:21 the chief officer walked out on the port bridge. The captain and myself were on our heels looking out through the port. I saw the chief officer turn around, and you could have seen the whole ocean written in his face, and his mouth that wide (indicating), and he could not get it out. He finally said: “My God, look at that submarine!” The captain gripped my arm and said: “What is that?” I said: “It is a submarine, and he has got up.” I followed the captain out on the bridge and I looked at my gun crews. They were all agape. The lookout was all agape. I threw in my starboard control and I[69] said: “Captain, zigzag.” I did not tell him which way to go. We had that all doped out. The captain starboarded his helm and the ship turned to port and we charged him (the U-boat) and made him go under. I went up on top of the chart house with my phones on, and I had a long, powerful glass, ten power. Right underneath it I always lashed my transmitter, so that where I was my transmitter went, and I didn’t have to worry or hunt for it. It was always plugged in, and I said: “No. 3 gun, after gun, train on the starboard quarter, and when you see a submarine and periscope or conning tower, report.” The gun crew reported control. “We see it—no, no—it has gone. There it is again.” I picked it up at that moment with my high-powered glass, and I gave them the range—1,000 yards. Scale 50. She was about 800 yards away from us. I gave the order, “No. 3 gun, fire, commence firing.” I had my glasses on them, gentlemen, and I saw that periscope come up. “No. 3 gun, commence firing, fire, fire, fire.” And they did, and I picked that shell right up as it came out of the gun—a black, six-inch explosive shell. I saw it go through the air in its flight, and I saw it strike the water eight inches—a foot—in front of that periscope and it went into the conning tower. I saw that periscope go end over end, whipping through that water, and I saw plates go off his conning tower, and I saw smoke all over the scene where we had hit the enemy. When Captain Rice was called upon for a speech he said: [70] “Gentlemen, I’d much rather take the Mongolia through the war zone than make a speech. All I will say is that I am ready to go again, and I hope I have another chance at a U-boat.” <hr class="tb" /> <h3>HE KNEW WHAT TO DO</h3> A short time back, while a certain general was inspecting a regiment just about to depart for new quarters, he asked a young subaltern what would be his next order if he was in command of a regiment passing over a plain in a hostile country, and he found his front blocked by artillery, a brigade of cavalry on his right flank, and a morass on his left, while his retreat was cut off by a large body of infantry. “Halt! Order arms, ground arms, kneel down, say your prayers!” replied the subaltern. <hr class="tb" /> <h3>THAT WAS THE HYMN NUMBER</h3> Here is a story which if it is not true ought to be. The soldier in the train was dilating on his changed life. “They took me from my home,” he said, “and put me in barracks; they took away my clothes and put me in khaki; they took away my name and made me ‘No. 575’; they took me to church, where I’d never been before, and they made me listen to a sermon for forty minutes. Then the parson said, ‘No. 575, Art thou weary, art thou languid?’ And I got seven days’ C.B. for giving him a civil answer.” <hr class="chap" /></div> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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