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<h2> BETTESWORTH'S EXULTATION UPON HEARING THAT HIS NAME WOULD BE TRANSMITTED TO POSTERITY IN DR. SWIFT'S WORKS. BY WILLIAM DUNKIN </h2>
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Well! now, since the heat of my passion's abated,<br/>
That the Dean hath lampoon'd me, my mind is elated:—<br/>
Lampoon'd did I call it?—No—what was it then?<br/>
What was it?—'Twas fame to be lash'd by his pen:<br/>
For had he not pointed me out, I had slept till<br/>
E'en doomsday, a poor insignificant reptile;<br/>
Half lawyer, half actor, pert, dull, and inglorious,<br/>
Obscure, and unheard of—but now I'm notorious:<br/>
Fame has but two gates, a white and a black one;<br/>
The worst they can say is, I got in at the back one:<br/>
If the end be obtain'd 'tis equal what portal<br/>
I enter, since I'm to be render'd immortal:<br/>
So clysters applied to the anus, 'tis said,<br/>
By skilful physicians, give ease to the head—<br/>
Though my title be spurious, why should I be dastard,<br/>
A man is a man, though he should be a bastard.<br/>
Why sure 'tis some comfort that heroes should slay us,<br/>
If I fall, I would fall by the hand of Fneas;<br/>
And who by the Drapier would not rather damn'd be,<br/>
Than demigoddized by madrigal Namby?[1]<br/>
A man is no more who has once lost his breath;<br/>
But poets convince us theres life after death.<br/>
They call from their graves the king, or the peasant;<br/>
Re-act our old deeds, and make what's past present:<br/>
And when they would study to set forth alike,<br/>
So the lines be well drawn, and the colours but strike,<br/>
Whatever the subject be, coward or hero,<br/>
A tyrant or patriot, a Titus or Nero;<br/>
To a judge 'tis all one which he fixes his eye on,<br/>
And a well-painted monkey's as good as a lion.<br/>
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