<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></SPAN><span class= "pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_101" id="Page_101"></SPAN>[101]</span>CHAPTER VIII</h2>
<p>Clem Sypher stood at the front door of Penton Court a day or two
afterwards, awaiting his guests and taking the air. The leaves of
the oaks that lined the drive fell slowly under the breath of a
southwest wind, and joined their sodden brethren on the path. The
morning mist still hung around the branches. The sky threatened
rain.</p>
<p>A servant came from within the house, bringing a telegram on a
tray. Sypher opened it, and his strong, pink face became as
overcast as the sky. It was from the London office of the Cure, and
contained the information that one of his largest buyers had
reduced his usual order by half. The news was depressing. So was
the prospect before him, of dripping trees and of evergreens on the
lawn trying to make the best of it in forlorn bravery. Heaven had
ordained that the earth should be fair and Sypher's Cure
invincible. Something was curiously wrong in the execution of
Heaven's decrees. He looked again at the preposterous statement,
knitting his brow. Surely this was some base contrivance of the
enemy. They had been underselling and outadvertising him for
months, and had ousted him from the custom of several large firms
already. Something had to be done. As has been remarked before,
Sypher was a man of Napoleonic methods. He called for a telegraph
form, and wrote as he stood, with the tray as a desk:</p>
<p>"If you can't buy advertising rights on St. Paul's
Cathe<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_102" id="Page_102"></SPAN>[102]</span>dral or Westminster Abbey, secure
outside pages of usual dailies for Thursday. Will draw up 'ad'
myself."</p>
<p>He gave it to the servant, smiled in anticipation of the battle,
and felt better. When Zora, Emmy, and Septimus appeared at the turn
of the drive, he rushed to meet them, beaming with welcome and
exuberant in phrase. This was the best housewarming that could be
imagined. Just three friends to luncheon—three live people. A
gathering of pale-souled folk would have converted the house into a
chilly barn. They would warm it with the glow of friendship. Mrs.
Middlemist, looking like a rose in June, had already irradiated the
wan November garden. Miss Oldrieve he likened to a spring crocus,
and Septimus (with a slap on the back) could choose the vegetable
he would like to resemble. They must look over the house before
lunch. Afterwards, outside, the great surprise awaited them. What
was it? Ah! He turned laughing eyes on them, like a boy.</p>
<p>The great London firm to whom he had entrusted the furniture and
decoration had done their splendid worst. The drawing-room had the
appearance of an hotel sitting-room trying to look coy. An air of
factitious geniality pervaded the dining-room. An engraving of
Frans Hals's "Laughing Cavalier" hung with too great a semblance of
jollity over the oak sideboard. Everything was too new, too
ordered, too unindividual; but Sypher loved it, especially the
high-art wall-paper and restless frieze. Zora, a woman of
instinctive taste, who, if she bought a bedroom water-bottle,
managed to identify it with her own personality, professed her
admiration with a woman's pitying mendacity, but resolved to change
many things for the good of Clem Sypher's soul. Emmy, still pale
and preoccupied, said little. She was not in a mood to appreciate
Clem<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_103" id="Page_103"></SPAN>[103]</span> Sypher, whose loud voice and Napoleonic
manners jarred upon her nerves. Septimus thought it all
prodigiously fine, whereat Emmy waxed sarcastic.</p>
<p>"I wish I could do something for you," he said, heedless of her
taunts, during a moment when they were out of earshot of the
others. He had already offered to go to Naples and bring back
Mordaunt Prince, and had received instant orders not to be a fool.
"I wish I could make you laugh again."</p>
<p>"I don't want to laugh," she replied impatiently. "I want to sit
on the floor and howl."</p>
<p>They happened to be in the hall. At the farther end Septimus
caught sight of a fluffy Persian kitten playing with a bit of
paper, and guided by one of his queer intuitions he went and picked
it up and laid its baby softness against the girl's cheek. Her mood
changed magically.</p>
<p>"Oh, the darling!" she cried, and kissed its tiny, wet nose.</p>
<p>She was quite polite to Sypher during luncheon, and laughed when
he told her that he called the kitten Jebusa Jones. She asked
why.</p>
<p>"Because," said he, showing his hand covered with scratches,
"she produces on the human epidermis the same effect as his
poisonous cuticle remedy."</p>
<p>Whereupon Emmy decided that the man who could let a kitten
scratch his hand in that fashion had elements of good in his
nature.</p>
<p>"Now for the surprise," said Sypher, when Septimus and he joined
the ladies after lunch. "Come."</p>
<p>They followed him outside, through the French windows of the
drawing-room. "Other people," said he, "want <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_104" id="Page_104"></SPAN>[104]</span>houses
with lawns reaching down to the side of the river or the Menai
Straits or Windermere. I'm the only person, I think, who has ever
sought for a lawn running down to a main line of railway."</p>
<p>"That's why this house was untenanted so long," said Zora.</p>
<p>A row of trees separated the small garden from the lawn in
question. When they passed through this screen, the lawn and the
line of railway and the dreamy, undulating Surrey country came into
view. Also an enormous board. Why hadn't he taken it down, Zora
asked.</p>
<p>"That's the surprise!" exclaimed Sypher eagerly. "Come round to
the front."</p>
<p>He led the way, striding some yards ahead. Presently he turned
and struck a dramatic attitude, as a man might do who had built
himself a new wonder house. And then on three astonished pairs of
eyes burst the following inscription in gigantic capitals which he
who flew by in an express train could read:</p>
<p>SYPHER'S CURE!<br/>
Clem Sypher. Friend of Humanity!<br/>
I LIVE HERE!</p>
<p>"Isn't that great?" he cried. "I've had it in my mind for years.
It's the personal note that's so valuable. This brings the whole
passing world into personal contact with me. It shows that Sypher's
Cure isn't a quack thing run by a commercial company, but the
possession of a man who has a house, who lives in the very house
you can see through the trees. 'What kind of a man is he?' they
ask.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_105" id="Page_105"></SPAN>[105]</span> 'He must be a nice man to live in such
a nice house. I almost feel I know him. <i>I'll try his Cure</i>.'
Don't you think it's a colossal idea?"</p>
<p>He looked questioningly into three embarrassed faces. Emmy, in
spite of her own preoccupation, suppressed a giggle. There was a
moment's silence, which was broken by Septimus's mild voice:</p>
<p>"I think, by means of levers running down to the line and worked
by the trains as they passed, I could invent a machine for throwing
little boxes of samples from the board into the railway carriage
windows."</p>
<p>Emmy burst out laughing. "Come and show me how you would do
it."</p>
<p>She linked her arm in his and dragged him down to the line,
where she spoke with mirthful disrespect of Sypher's Cure.
Meanwhile Zora said nothing to Sypher.</p>
<p>"Don't you like it?" he asked at last, disconcerted.</p>
<p>"Do you want me to be the polite lady you've asked to lunch or
your friend?"</p>
<p>"My friend and my helper," said he.</p>
<p>"Then," she replied, touching his coat sleeve, "I must say that
I don't like it. I hate it. I think it's everything that is most
abominable."</p>
<p>The board was one pride of his heart, and Zora was another. He
looked at them both alternately in a piteous, crestfallen way.</p>
<p>"But why?" he asked.</p>
<p>Zora's eyes filled with tears. She saw that her lack of
appreciation had hurt him to the heart. She was a generous woman,
and did not convict him, as she would have done another man, of
blatant vulgarity. Yet she felt preposterously pained. Why could
not this great, single-<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_106" id="Page_106"></SPAN>[106]</span>minded creature, with ideas as high as
they were queer, perceive the board's rank abomination?</p>
<p>"It's unworthy of you," she said bravely. "I want everyone to
respect you as I do. You see the Cure isn't everything. There's a
man behind it."</p>
<p>"That's the object of the board," said Sypher. "To show the
man."</p>
<p>"But it doesn't show the chivalrous gentleman that I think you
are," she replied quickly. "It gives the impression of some one
quite different—a horrid creature who would sell his
self-respect for money. Oh, don't you understand? It's as bad as
walking through the streets with 'Sypher's Cure' painted on your
hat."</p>
<p>"What can I do about it?" he asked.</p>
<p>"Take it down at once," said Zora.</p>
<p>"But to exhibit the board was my sole reason for buying the
place."</p>
<p>"I'm very sorry," she said gently, "but I can't change my
opinion."</p>
<p>He cast a lingering glance at the board, and then turned. "Let
us go back to the house," he said.</p>
<p>They walked a little way in silence. As they passed by the
shrubbery at the side of the house, he gravely pushed aside a wet,
hanging branch for her to proceed dry. Then he joined her
again.</p>
<p>"You are angry with me for speaking so," said Zora.</p>
<p>He stopped and looked at her, his eyes bright and clear. "Do you
think I'm a born fool? Do you think I can't tell loyalty when I see
it, and am such an ass as not to prize it above all things? It cost
you a lot to say that to me. You're right. I suppose I've lost
sense of myself in the Cure. When I think of it, I seem just to be
the machine <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_107" id="Page_107"></SPAN>[107]</span>that is distributing it over the earth.
And that, too, I suppose, is why I want you. The board is an
abomination that cries to heaven. It shall be instantly removed.
There!"</p>
<p>He held out his hand. She gave him hers and he pressed it
warmly.</p>
<p>"Are you going to give up the house now that it's useless?" she
asked.</p>
<p>"Do you wish me to?"</p>
<p>"What have I to do with it?"</p>
<p>"Zora Middlemist," said he, "I'm a superstitious man in some
things. You have everything to do with my success. Sooner than
forfeit your respect I would set fire to every stick I possessed. I
would give up everything I had in the world except my faith in the
Cure."</p>
<p>"Wouldn't you give up that—if it were necessary so as to
keep my respect?" she asked, prompted by the insane devil that
lurks in the heart of even the most sainted of women and does not
like its gracious habitat to be reckoned lower than a quack
ointment. It is the same little devil that makes a young wife ask
her devoted husband which of the two he would save if she and his
mother were drowning. It is the little devil that is responsible
for infinite mendacity on the part of men. "Have you ever said that
to another woman?" No; of course he hasn't; and the wretch is
instantly, perjured. "Would you sell your soul for me?" "My
immortal soul," says the good fellow, instantaneously converted
into an atrocious liar; and the little devil coos with satisfaction
and curls himself up snugly to sleep.</p>
<p>But on this occasion the little devil had no success.</p>
<p>"I would give up my faith in the Cure for nothing in the wide
world," said Sypher gravely.</p>
<p>"<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_108" id="Page_108"></SPAN>[108]</span>I'm very glad to hear it," said Zora, in
her frankest tone. But the little devil asked her whether she was
quite sure; whereupon she hit him smartly over the head and bade
him lie down. Her respect, however, for Sypher increased.</p>
<p>They were joined by Emmy and Septimus.</p>
<p>"I think I could manage it," said the latter, "if I cut a hole a
foot square in the board and fixed a magazine behind it."</p>
<p>"There will be no necessity," returned Sypher. "Mrs. Middlemist
has ordered its immediate removal."</p>
<p>That was the end of the board episode. The next day he had it
taken down and chopped into fire-wood, a cart-load of which he sent
with his humble compliments to Mrs. Middlemist. Zora called it a
burnt offering. She found more satisfaction in the blaze that
roared up the chimney than she could explain to her mother; perhaps
more than she could explain to herself. Septimus had first taught
her the pleasantness of power. But that was nothing to this.
Anybody, even Emmy, curly-headed baby that she was, could turn poor
Septimus into a slave. For a woman to impose her will upon Clem
Sypher, Friend of Humanity, the Colossus of Curemongers, was no
such trumpery achievement.</p>
<p>Emmy, when she referred to the matter, expressed the hope that
Zora had rubbed it into Clem Sypher. Zora deprecated the personal
bearing of the slang metaphor, but admitted, somewhat grandly, that
she had pointed out the error in taste.</p>
<p>"I can't see, though, why you take all this trouble over Mr.
Sypher," said Emmy.</p>
<p>"I value his friendship," replied Zora, looking up from a letter
she was reading.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_109" id="Page_109"></SPAN>[109]</span>This was at breakfast. When the maid had
entered with the post Emmy had gripped the table and watched with
hungry eyes, but the only letter that had come for her had been on
theatrical business. Not the one she longed for. Emmy's world was
out of joint.</p>
<p>"You've changed your opinion, my dear, as to the value of men,"
she sneered. "There was a time when you didn't want to see them or
speak to them or have anything to do with them. Now it seems you
can't get on without them."</p>
<p>"My dear Emmy," said Zora calmly, "men as possible lovers and
men as staunch friends are two entirely different conceptions."</p>
<p>Emmy broke a piece of toast viciously.</p>
<p>"I think they're beasts," she exclaimed.</p>
<p>"Good heavens! Why?"</p>
<p>"Oh, I don't know. They are."</p>
<p>Then, after the quick, frightened glance of the woman who fears
she has said too much, she broke into a careless half-laugh.</p>
<p>"They are such liars. Fawcett promised me a part in his new
production and writes to-day to say I can't have it."</p>
<p>As Emmy's professional disappointments had been many, and as
Zora in her heart of hearts did not entirely approve of her
sister's musical-comedy career, she tempered her sympathy with
philosophic reflections. She had never taken Emmy seriously. All
her life long Emmy had been the kitten sister, with a kitten's
pretty but unimportant likes, dislikes, habits, occupations, and
aspirations. To regard her as being under the shadow of a woman's
tragedy had never entered her head. The kitten playing Antigone,
Ophelia, or such like distressed heroines, in awful, grim earnest
is not a conception that readily occurs even to the <span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_110" id="Page_110"></SPAN>[110]</span>most
affectionate and imaginative of kitten owners. Zora accepted Emmy's
explanation of her petulance with a spirit entirely unperturbed,
and resumed the perusal of her letter. It was from the Callenders,
who wrote from California. Zora must visit them on her way round
the world.</p>
<p>She laid down the letter and stirred her tea absently, her mind
full of snow-capped sierras, and clear blue air, and peach forests,
and all the wonders of that wonderland. And Emmy stirred her tea,
too, in an absent manner, but her mind was filled with the most
terrible thoughts wherewith a woman's mind can be haunted.</p>
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