<h2 class="gap3 chaphead"><SPAN name="II" id="II"></SPAN>II</h2>
<h2 class="chaphead">Brown Alpaca</h2>
<div class="sidenote">A Cheerless Room</div>
<p>At seven o'clock, precisely, Grandmother
Starr limped into the dining-room. It
was one of her "lame" days, though sometimes
she forgot which was her lame side, and limped
irregularly and impartially with either foot,
as chanced to please her erratic fancy.</p>
<p>A small lamp cast a feeble, unshaded light
from the middle of the table, for the morning
was dark, and the room smelled abominably
of oil. The flickering rays picked out here
and there a bit of tarnished gold from the wall
paper, and, as though purposely, made the
worn spots in the carpet unusually distinct.
Meaningless china ornaments crowded the
mantel, but there was no saving grace of
firelight in the small black cavern beneath.
A little stove, in one corner of the room,
smoked industriously and refused to give
out any heat.</p>
<p>"Rosemary," said Grandmother Starr, fretfully,
"I don't see why you can't never learn to
build a fire. Get me my shoulder shawl."<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</SPAN></span></p>
<div class="sidenote">Cold and Cross</div>
<p>The girl compressed her pale lips into a thin,
tight line. She was tired and her head ached,
but she said nothing. She found the shawl, of
red-and-black plaid, and spread it over the
old lady's shoulders.</p>
<p>"I didn't say for you to put it on," remarked
Grandmother, sourly. "If I'd wanted you to
put it on me, I'd have said so. Guess I
ain't so old yet but what I can put on my own
shawl. What I want it for is to wrap up my
hands in."</p>
<p>"Where's my shawl?" demanded Aunt
Matilda, entering the room at that moment.</p>
<p>Rosemary found the other shawl, of blue-and-brown
plaid, and silently offered it to the
owner.</p>
<p>Aunt Matilda inclined her grey head toward
Rosemary. "You can put it on me if you like.
I ain't ashamed to say I'm cold when I am,
and if I wanted to wrap up my hands, I'd
get my mittens—I wouldn't take a whole
shawl."</p>
<p>"You ain't got no reason to be cold, as I
see," remarked Grandmother, sharply. "Folks
what lays abed till almost seven o'clock ought
to be nice and warm unless they're lazy.
P'r'aps if you moved around more, your blood
would warm you."</p>
<p>"Better try it," Matilda suggested, pointedly.</p>
<p>An angry flush mounted to Grandmother's
temples, where the thin white hair was drawn<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</SPAN></span>
back so tightly that it must have hurt. "I've
moved around some in my day," she responded,
shrilly, "but I never got any thanks for it.
What with sweepin' and dustin' and scrubbin'
and washin' and ironin' and bringin' up children
and feedin' pigs and cows and chickens and
churnin' and waitin' on your father, it's no
wonder I'm a helpless cripple with the misery
in my back."</p>
<div class="sidenote">Head of the House</div>
<p>"Dried peaches again," Matilda observed,
scornfully, as Rosemary put a small saucer of
fruit before her. "Who told you to get dried
peaches?"</p>
<p>"I did, if you want to know," Grandmother
snorted. "This is my house, ain't it?"</p>
<p>"I've heard tell that it was," Matilda
answered, "and I'm beginnin' to believe it."</p>
<p>Miss Matilda was forty-six, but, in the pitiless
glare of the odorous lamp, she looked much
older. Her hair was grey and of uneven
length, so that short, straight hair continually
hung about her face, without even the saving
grace of fluffiness. Her eyes were steel-blue and
cold, her nose large and her mouth large also.
Her lips drooped at the corners and there was
a wart upon her chin.</p>
<p>Grandmother also had a wart, but it was upon
her nose. Being a friendly and capable sort
of wart, it held her steel-bowed spectacles at the
proper angle for reading or knitting. During
conversation, she peered over her spectacles,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</SPAN></span>
and sometimes, to the discomfort of a sensitive
observer, the steel frame appeared to divide
her eyes horizontally.</p>
<div class="sidenote">All Wrong</div>
<p>They were very dark, beady eyes, set close together.
At times they gleamed with the joy
of conflict, but they always expressed a certain
malicious cunning. With a single glance, she
could make Rosemary feel mentally undressed.
Had the girl's forehead been transparent,
like the crystal of a watch, with the machinery
of thought and emotion fully exposed to the
eye of a master-mechanic, her sensation could
not have differed from the helpless awe her
grandmother so easily inspired.</p>
<p>Of course the breakfast was not right—it
never was. The dried peaches were too sweet
for one and not sweet enough for the other.
Grandmother wanted her oatmeal cooked
to a paste, but Aunt Matilda, whose teeth
were better, desired something that must be
chewed before it was swallowed, and unhesitatingly
said so. The coffee was fated to
please neither, though, as Rosemary found
courage to say, you couldn't expect good
coffee on Friday when the same grounds had
been used ever since Sunday morning.</p>
<p>"I'd like to know what makes you so
high and mighty all of a sudden," said Grandmother.
"Coffee's just like tea—as long as
colour comes into it when it's boiled, it's good.
My mother always used the same grounds for<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</SPAN></span>
a week for a family of eight, and she didn't
hear no complaints, neither. You ain't boiled
this long enough—that's what's the matter."</p>
<div class="sidenote">The Common Task</div>
<p>Aunt Matilda muttered something about
"beggars being choosers," and Rosemary
pushed her plate away wearily. She had not
tasted her breakfast.</p>
<p>Grandmother arose and noisily blew out the
lamp, regardless of the fact that Matilda had
not finished eating. "Now, Rosemary," she
said, briskly, "after you get the dishes done
and the kitchen cleaned up, I want you should
go to the post-office and get my paper. When
you come back, you can do the sweepin' and
dustin' down here and I can set in the kitchen
while you're doin' it. Then you can make
the beds and do the up-stairs work and then go
to the store. By the time you're ready to go
to the store, I'll have decided what you're to
get."</p>
<p>"And," continued Aunt Matilda, pushing
back her chair, "this afternoon you can help
me cut out some underclothes and get 'em
basted together." She never attempted any
sort of housework, being pathetically vain of
her one beauty—her small, white hands. Even
the family sewing she did under protest.</p>
<p>"Is the alpaca all gone?" asked Grandmother.</p>
<p>"Yes," Matilda replied. "I used the last
of it patchin' Rosemary's dress under the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</SPAN></span>
arms. It beats all how hard she is on her
clothes."</p>
<div class="sidenote">A Question of Colour</div>
<p>"I'll have to order more," sighed the old
lady. "I suppose the price has gone up
again."</p>
<p>Rosemary's breath came and went quickly;
her heart fluttered with a sudden wildness.
"Grandmother," she pleaded, hesitatingly,
"oh, Aunt Matilda—just for this once, couldn't
I have grey alpaca instead of brown? I hate
brown so!"</p>
<p>Both women stared at her as though she
had all at once gone mad. The silence became
intense, painful.</p>
<p>"I mean," faltered the girl, "if it's the
same price. I wouldn't ask you to pay any
more. Perhaps grey might be cheaper now—even
cheaper than brown!"</p>
<p>"I was married in brown alpaca," said
Grandmother. She used the tone in which
royalty may possibly allude to coronation.</p>
<p>"I was wearing brown alpaca," observed
Aunt Matilda, "the night the minister came
to call."</p>
<p>"Made just like this," they said, together.</p>
<p>"If brown alpaca's good enough for weddin's
and ministers, I reckon it'll do for orphans
that don't half earn their keep," resumed
Grandmother, with her keen eyes fixed upon
Rosemary.</p>
<p>"What put the notion into your head?"<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</SPAN></span>
queried Aunt Matilda, with the air of one
athirst for knowledge.</p>
<div class="sidenote">A Surprise Party</div>
<p>"Why—nothing," the girl stammered, "except
that—when I was looking at mother's
things the other day, up in the attic, I found
some pink ribbon, and I thought it would be
pretty with grey, and if I had a grey dress——"</p>
<p>The other two exchanged glances. "Ain't
it wonderful," asked Matilda of her mother,
"how blood will tell?"</p>
<p>"It certainly is," responded Grandmother,
polishing her spectacles vigorously with a
corner of the plaid shawl. "Your ma," she
went on, to Rosemary, "was wearin' grey when
your pa brought her here to visit us. They
was a surprise party—both of 'em. We
didn't even know he was plannin' marriage
and I don't believe he was, either. We've
always thought your ma roped him into it,
somehow."</p>
<p>Rosemary's eyes filled with mist and she bit
her lips.</p>
<p>"She was wearin' grey," continued Aunt
Matilda; "light grey that would show every
spot. I told her it wasn't a very serviceable
colour and she had the impudence to laugh at
me. 'It'll clean, won't it?' she says, just
like that, and Frank says, right after her, 'Yes,
it'll clean.' He knew a lot about it, he did.
She had psychologised him."</p>
<p>"You mean hypnotised," interrupted Grand<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</SPAN></span>mother.
"There ain't no such word as
'psychologised.'"</p>
<div class="sidenote">Resentment</div>
<p>"Well, if there ain't, there ought to be."</p>
<p>"The pink has come out in the blood, too,"
Grandmother remarked, adjusting her spectacles
firmly upon the ever-useful and unfailing
wart. "She was wearin' pink roses on her
bonnet and pink ribbon strings. It wouldn't
surprise me if it was the very strings what
Rosemary has found in the trunk and is layin'
out to wear."</p>
<p>"Me neither," Matilda chimed in.</p>
<p>"She was wearin' lace on her petticoats and
high-heeled shoes, and all her handkerchiefs
was fine linen," Grandmother continued.
"Maybe you'd like some lace ruffles under
your grey alpaca, wouldn't you, Rosemary?"</p>
<p>The girl got to her feet blindly. She gathered
up the dishes with cold hands that
trembled, took them out into the kitchen, and
noiselessly closed the door. Her heart was
hot with resentment, even though she had
heard the story, with variations, ever since
she was old enough to understand it.</p>
<p>"Poor little mother," said Rosemary, to
herself. "Dear little mother! Why couldn't
you have taken me with you!"</p>
<p>As Grandmother had said, for the hundredth
time and more, Frank Starr had brought home
his young wife unexpectedly. The surprise,
in itself, was a shock from which she and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</SPAN></span>
Matilda had never recovered. Even now,
they were fond of alluding to the years of ill-health
directly caused by it, and of subtly
blaming Rosemary for it.</p>
<div class="sidenote">An Orphan</div>
<p>At the end of the third day, the young couple
had departed hastily, the bride in tears. A
year or so afterward, when Rosemary was
born, the little mother died, having lived only
long enough to ask that the baby be named
"Rosemary"—Rose for her own mother and
Mary for Grandmother Starr.</p>
<p>Stern, white-faced, and broken-hearted,
Frank Starr brought his child to his mother
and sister, and almost immediately went West.
Intermittently he wrote briefly, sent money,
gave insufficient addresses, or none at all, and,
at length, disappeared. At the time his last
letter was written, he had expected to take a
certain steamer plying along the Western
coast. As the ship was wrecked and he was
never heard from again, it seemed that Rosemary
was an orphan, dependent upon her
grandmother and aunt.</p>
<p>In their way, they were kind to her. She
was sent to school regularly, and had plenty
to eat and wear, of a certain sort. Every
Spring, Aunt Matilda made the year's supply
of underclothing, using for the purpose coarse,
unbleached muslin, thriftily purchased by the
bolt. The brown alpaca and brown gingham,
in which she and her grandmother and aunt<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</SPAN></span>
had been dressed ever since she could remember,
were also bought by the piece. The
fashion of the garments had not changed, for
one way of making a gown was held to be as
good as another, and a great deal easier, if the
maker were accustomed to doing it.</p>
<div class="sidenote">Year after Year</div>
<p>So, year after year, Rosemary wore full
skirts of brown alpaca, gathered into a band,
and tight-fitting waists, boned and lined, buttoning
down the front with a row of small jet
buttons. The sleeves were always long, plain,
and tight, no matter what other people were
wearing. A bit of cheap lace gathered at the
top of the collar was the only attempt at
adornment.</p>
<p>The brown ginghams were made in the same
way, except that the waists were not boned.
The cheap white muslin, which served as Rosemary's
best Summer gown, was made like the
ginghams. Her Winter hat was brown felt,
trimmed with brown ribbon, her Summer hat
was brown straw, trimmed with brown ribbon,
and her Winter coat was also brown, of some
heavy material which wore surpassingly well.</p>
<p>For years her beauty-loving soul had been
in revolt, but never before had she dared to
suggest a change. The lump in her throat
choked her as she washed the dishes, heedless
of the tears that fell into the dish-pan. But
activity is a sovereign remedy for the blues,
and by the time the kitchen was made spotless,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</SPAN></span>
she had recovered her composure. She washed
her face in cold water, dusted her red eyes with
a bit of corn-starch, and put the cups and plates
in their proper places.</p>
<div class="sidenote">Toiling Cheerfully</div>
<p>She listened half-fearfully for a moment
before she opened the door, dreading to hear
the dear memory of her mother still under discussion,
but Grandmother and Aunt Matilda
were wrangling happily over the hair-wreath in
the parlour. This was a fruitful source of
argument when all other subjects had failed,
for Grandmother insisted that the yellow rose
in the centre was made from the golden curls
of Uncle Henry Underwood's oldest boy,
while Aunt Matilda was equally certain that
it had come from Sarah Starr's second daughter
by her first husband.</p>
<p>Throughout the day Rosemary toiled cheerfully.
She swept, dusted, scrubbed, cooked,
did errands, mailed the letter which made certain
another bolt of brown alpaca, built fires,
and, in the afternoon, brought down the heavy
roll of unbleached muslin from the attic.
Aunt Matilda cleared off the dining-room
table, got out the worn newspaper patterns,
and had sent Rosemary out for a paper of pins
before she remembered that it was Friday, and
that no new task begun on a Friday could ever
be a success.</p>
<p>So, while Rosemary set the table for supper,
the other two harked back to the fateful day<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</SPAN></span>
when Frank Starr brought his wife home.
They were in the next room, but their shrill
voices carried well and Rosemary heard every
word, though she earnestly wished that she
need not.</p>
<div class="sidenote">A Lucky Friday</div>
<p>"It was Friday, too, if you'll remember,
when Frank brought her," said Aunt Matilda,
indicating Rosemary by an inclination of her
untidy head.</p>
<p>"Then you can't say Friday's always
unlucky," commented Grandmother. "It may
have been bad for us but it was good for her.
Supposin' that butterfly had had her to bring
up—what'd she have been by now?"</p>
<p>"She resembles her ma some," answered
Matilda, irrelevantly; "at least she would if
she was pretty. She's got the same look
about her, somehow."</p>
<p>"I never thought her ma was pretty. It
was always a mystery to me what Frank saw
in her."</p>
<p>"Come to supper," called Rosemary,
abruptly. She was unable to bear more.</p>
<p>The meal was unexpectedly enlivened by
Grandmother's discovery of a well-soaked
milk ticket in the pitcher. From the weekly
issue of <i>The Household Guardian</i>, which had
reached her that day, she had absorbed a vast
amount of knowledge pertaining to the manners
and customs of germs, and began to fear
for her life. At first, it was thought to be<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</SPAN></span>
Rosemary's fault, but upon recalling that for
many years the ticket had always been left in
the pitcher, the blame was shifted to the hapless
milkman.</p>
<div class="sidenote">At the Close of the Day</div>
<p>Some discussion ensued as to what should
be said to the milkman and who should say it,
but Rosemary observed, with more or less
reason, that if his attention was called to the
error, he might want another ticket. At length
it was decided to say nothing, and Grandmother
personally assumed charge of the ticket, putting
it to dry between newspapers in the hope
of using it again.</p>
<p>After supper, Rosemary washed the dishes,
set the table for breakfast, and sat quietly,
with her hands folded, until the others were
ready to go to bed. She wrapped a hot brick
in red flannel for each of them, put out the
lamp, and followed them up-stairs. Rejoicing
in the shelter afforded by a closed door, she
sat in the dark, shivering a little, until sounds
suggestive of deep slumber came from the two
rooms beyond.</p>
<p>Then she lighted the two candles that Alden
Marsh had given her, and hurriedly undressed,
pausing only to make a wry face at her unbleached
muslin nightgown, entirely without
trimming. She brushed her hair with a worn
brush, braided it, tied it with a bit of shoestring,
and climbed into bed.</p>
<p>After assuring herself of the best light pos<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</SPAN></span>sible,
she unwrapped the little red book he had
given her a few days before, and began to read,
eagerly, one of the two wonderful sonnet
sequences of which the English language
boasts:</p>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">"Love's throne was not with these; but far above<br/></span>
<span class="i0">All passionate wind of welcome and farewell<br/></span>
<span class="i2">He sat in breathless bowers they dream not of;"<br/></span></div>
</div>
<div class="sidenote">Upon the Heights</div>
<p>As by magic, the cares of the common day
slipped away from her and her spirit began to
breathe. Upon the heights she walked firmly
now, and as surely as though she felt the hills
themselves beneath her feet.</p>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">"Born with her life, creature of poignant thirst<br/></span>
<span class="i2">And exquisite hunger, at her heart Love lay<br/></span>
<span class="i2">Quickening in darkness, till a voice that day<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Cried on him and the bonds of birth were burst."<br/></span></div>
</div>
<p>And again:</p>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">"Lo! it is done. Above the enthroning threat<br/></span>
<span class="i2">The mouth's mould testifies of voice and kiss,<br/></span>
<span class="i4">The shadowed eyes remember and foresee.<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Her face is made her shrine. Let all men note<br/></span>
<span class="i2">That in all years (Oh, love, thy gift is this!)<br/></span>
<span class="i4">They that would look on her must come to me."<br/></span></div>
</div>
<p>The divine melody of the words stirred her
to the depths of her soul. Hunger and thirst<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</SPAN></span>
ran riot in her blood; her heart surged with the
fulness of its tides.</p>
<div class="sidenote">The Unknown Joy</div>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">"But April's sun strikes down the glades to-day;<br/></span>
<span class="i2">So shut your eyes upturned, and feel my kiss<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Creep, as the Spring now thrills through every spray,<br/></span>
<span class="i2">Up your warm throat to your warm lips, for this...."<br/></span></div>
</div>
<p>Rosemary put the book aside with shaking
hands. "I wonder," she thought, "how it
would be if anyone should kiss me. Me," she
whispered; "not the women in the books, but
the real me."</p>
<p>The book slipped to the floor unheeded.
She sat there in her ugly nightgown, yearning
with every fibre of her for the unknown joy.
The flickering light of the candles was answered
by the strange fire that burned in her eyes.
At last her head drooped forward and, blind
with tears, she hid her face in her hands.</p>
<p>"Oh, dear God in Heaven," she prayed, passionately.
"Open the door of the House of
Life to me! Send someone to love me and to
take me away, for Christ's sake—Amen!"</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</SPAN></span></p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />