<h2><SPAN name="chap12"></SPAN>CHAPTER XII.</h2>
<p>Montague was now a capitalist, and therefore a keeper of the gates of
opportunity. It seemed as though the seekers for admission must have had some
occult way of finding it out; almost immediately they began to lay siege to
him.</p>
<p>About a week after his cheque arrived, Major Thorne, whom he had met the first
evening at the Loyal Legion, called him up and asked to see him; and he came to
Montague’s room that evening, and after chatting awhile about old times,
proceeded to unfold a business proposition. It seemed that the Major had a
grandson, a young mechanical engineer, who had been labouring for a couple of
years at a very important invention, a device for loading coal upon steamships
and weighing it automatically in the process. It was a very complicated
problem, needless to say, but it had been solved successfully, and patents had
been applied for, and a working model constructed. But it had proved
unexpectedly difficult to interest the officials of the great steamship
companies in the device. There was no doubt about the practicability of the
machine, or the economies it would effect; but the officials raised trivial
objections, and caused delays, and offered prices that were ridiculously
inadequate. So the young inventor had conceived the idea of organizing a
company to manufacture the machines, and rent them upon a royalty. “I
didn’t know whether you would have any money,” said Major Thorne,
“—but I thought you might be in touch with others who could be got
to look into the matter. There is a fortune in it for those who take it
up.”</p>
<p>Montague was interested, and he looked over the plans and descriptions which
his friend had brought, and said that he would see the working model, and talk
the proposition over with others. And so the Major took his departure.</p>
<p>The first person Montague spoke to about it was Oliver, with whom he chanced to
be lunching, at the latter’s club. This was the “All Night”
club, a meeting-place of fast young Society men and millionaire Bohemians, who
made a practice of going to bed at daylight, and had taken for their motto the
words of Tennyson—“For men may come and men may go, but I go on for
ever.” It was not a proper club for his brother to join, Oliver
considered; Montague’s “game” was the heavy respectable, and
the person to put him up was General Prentice. But he was permitted to lunch
there with his brother to chaperon him—and also Reggie Mann, who happened
in, fresh from talking over the itinerary of the foreign prince with Mrs.
Ridgley-Clieveden, and bringing a diverting account of how Mrs. R.-C. had had a
fisticuffs with her maid.</p>
<p>Montague mentioned the invention casually, and with no idea that his brother
would have an opinion one way or the other. But Oliver had quite a vigorous
opinion: “Good God, Allan, you aren’t going to let yourself be
persuaded into a thing like that!”</p>
<p>“But what do you know about it?” asked the other. “It may be
a tremendous thing.”</p>
<p>“Of course!” cried Oliver. “But what can you tell about it?
You’ll be like a child in other people’s hands, and they’ll
be certain to rob you. And why in the world do you want to take risks when you
don’t have to?”</p>
<p>“I have to put my money somewhere,” said Montague.</p>
<p>“His first fee is burning a hole in his pocket!” put in Reggie
Mann, with a chuckle. “Turn it over to me, Mr. Montague; and let me spend
it in a gorgeous entertainment for Alice; and the prestige of it will bring you
more cases than you can handle in a lifetime!”</p>
<p>“He had much better spend it all for soda water than buy a lot of coal
chutes with it,” said Oliver: “Wait awhile, and let me find you
some place to put your money, and you’ll see that you don’t have to
take any risks.”</p>
<p>“I had no idea of taking it up until I’d made certain of it,”
replied the other. “And those whose judgment I took would, of course, go
in also.”</p>
<p>The younger man thought for a moment. “You are going to dine with Major
Venable to-night, aren’t you?” he asked; and when the other
answered in the affirmative, he continued, “Very well, then, ask him. The
Major’s been a capitalist for forty years, and if you can get him to take
it up, why, you’ll know you’re safe.”</p>
<p>Major Venable had taken quite a fancy to Montague—perhaps the old
gentleman liked to have somebody to gossip with, to whom all his anecdotes were
new. He had seconded Montague’s name at the
“Millionaires’,” where he lived, and had asked him there to
make the acquaintance of some of the other members. Before Montague parted with
his brother, he promised that he would talk the matter over with the Major.</p>
<p>The Millionaires’ was the show club of the city, the one which the
ineffably rich had set apart for themselves. It was up by the park, in a
magnificent white marble palace which had cost a million dollars. Montague felt
that he had never really known the Major until he saw him here. The Major was
excellent at all times and places, but in this club he became an <i>edition de
luxe</i> of himself. He made his headquarters here, keeping his suite of rooms
all the year round; and the atmosphere and surroundings of the place seemed to
be a part of him.</p>
<p>Montague thought that the Major’s face grew redder every day, and the
purple veins in it purpler; or was it that the old gentleman’s shirt
bosom gleamed more brightly in the glare of the lights? The Major met him in
the stately entrance hall, fifty feet square and all of Numidian marble, with a
ceiling of gold, and a great bronze stairway leading to the gallery above. He
apologized for his velvet slippers and for his hobbling walk—he was
getting his accursed gout again. But he limped around and introduced his friend
to the other millionaires—and then told scandal about them behind their
backs.</p>
<p>The Major was the very type of a blue-blooded old aristocrat; he was all
<i>noblesse oblige</i> to those within the magic circle of his
intimacy—but alas for those outside it! Montague had never heard anyone
bully servants as the Major did. “Here you!” he would cry, when
something went wrong at the table. “Don’t you know any better than
to bring me a dish like that? Go and send me somebody who knows how to set a
table!” And, strange to say, the servants all acknowledged his perfect
right to bully them, and flew with terrified alacrity to do his bidding.
Montague noticed that the whole staff of the club leaped into activity whenever
the Major appeared; and when he was seated at the table, he led off in this
fashion—“Now I want two dry Martinis. And I want them at
once—do you understand me? Don’t stop to get me any butter plates
or finger-bowls—I want two cock-tails, just as quick as you can carry
them!”</p>
<p>Dinner was an important event to Major Venable—the most important in
life. The younger man humbly declined to make any suggestions, and sat and
watched while his friend did all the ordering. They had some very small
oysters, and an onion soup, and a grouse and asparagus, with some wine from the
Major’s own private store, and then a romaine salad. Concerning each one
of these courses, the Major gave special injunctions, and throughout his
conversation he scattered comments upon them: “This is good thick
soup—lots of nourishment in onion soup. Have the rest of this?—I
think the Burgundy is too cold. Sixty-five is as cold as Burgundy ought ever to
be. I don’t mind sherry as low as sixty.—They always cook a bird
too much—Robbie Walling’s chef is the only person I know who never
makes a mistake with game.”</p>
<p>All this, of course, was between comments upon the assembled millionaires.
There was Hawkins, the corporation lawyer; a shrewd fellow, cold as a corpse.
He was named for an ambassadorship—a very efficient man. Used to be old
Wyman’s confidential adviser and buy aldermen for him.—And the man
at table with him was Harrison, publisher of the <i>Star;</i> administration
newspaper, sound and conservative. Harrison was training for a cabinet
position. He was a nice little man, and would make a fine splurge in
Washington.—And that tall man coming in was Clarke, the steel magnate;
and over there was Adams, a big lawyer also—prominent
reformer—civic righteousness and all that sort of stuff. Represented the
Oil Trust secretly, and went down to Trenton to argue against some reform
measure, and took along fifty thousand dollars in bills in his valise. “A
friend of mine got wind of what he was doing, and taxed him with it,”
said the Major, and laughed gleefully over the great lawyer’s
reply—“How did I know but I might have to pay for my own
lunch?”—And the fat man with him—that was Jimmie
Featherstone, the chap who had inherited a big estate. “Poor
Jimmie’s going all to pieces,” the Major declared. “Goes down
town to board meetings now and then—they tell a hair-raising story about
him and old Dan Waterman. He had got up and started a long argument, when
Waterman broke in, ‘But at the earlier meeting you argued directly to the
contrary, Mr. Featherstone!’ ‘Did I?’ said Jimmie, looking
bewildered. ‘I wonder why I did that?’ ‘Well, Mr.
Featherstone, since you ask me, I’ll tell you,’ said old
Dan—he’s savage as a wild boar, you know, and won’t be
delayed at meetings. ‘The reason is that the last time you were drunker
than you are now. If you would adopt a uniform standard of intoxication for the
directors’ meetings of this road, it would expedite matters
considerably.’”</p>
<p>They had got as far as the romaine salad. The waiter came with a bowl of
dressing—and at the sight of it, the old gentleman forgot Jimmie
Featherstone. “Why are you bringing me that stuff?” he cried.
“I don’t want that! Take it away and get me some vinegar and
oil.”</p>
<p>The waiter fled in dismay, while the Major went on growling under his breath.
Then from behind him came a voice: “What’s the matter with you this
evening, Venable? You’re peevish!”</p>
<p>The Major looked up. “Hello, you old cormorant,” said he.
“How do you do these days?”</p>
<p>The old cormorant replied that he did very well. He was a pudgy little man,
with a pursed-up, wrinkled face. “My friend Mr. Montague—Mr.
Symmes,” said the Major.</p>
<p>“I am very pleased to meet you, Mr. Montague,” said Mr. Symmes,
peering over his spectacles.</p>
<p>“And what are you doing with yourself these days?” asked the Major.</p>
<p>The other smiled genially. “Nothing much,” said he. “Seducing
my friends’ wives, as usual.”</p>
<p>“And who’s the latest?”</p>
<p>“Read the newspapers, and you’ll find out,” laughed Symmes.
“I’m told I’m being shadowed.”</p>
<p>He passed on down the room, chuckling to himself; and the Major said,
“That’s Maltby Symmes. Have you heard of him?”</p>
<p>“No,” said Montague.</p>
<p>“He gets into the papers a good deal. He was up in supplementary
proceedings the other day—couldn’t pay his liquor bill.”</p>
<p>“A member of the Millionaires’?” laughed Montague.</p>
<p>“Yes, the papers made quite a joke out of it,” said the other.
“But you see he’s run through a couple of fortunes; the last was
his mother’s—eleven millions, I believe. He’s been a pretty
lively old boy in his time.”</p>
<p>The vinegar and oil had now arrived, and the Major set to work to dress the
salad. This was quite a ceremony, and Montague took it with amused interest.
The Major first gathered all the necessary articles together, and looked them
all over and grumbled at them. Then he mixed the vinegar and the pepper and
salt, a tablespoonful at a time, and poured it over the salad. Then very slowly
and carefully the oil had to be poured on, the salad being poked and turned
about so that it would be all absorbed. Perhaps it was because he was so busy
narrating the escapades of Maltby Symmes that the old gentleman kneaded it
about so long; all the time fussing over it like a hen-partridge with her
chicks, and interrupting himself every sentence or two: “It was Lenore,
the opera star, and he gave her about two hundred thousand dollars’ worth
of railroad shares. (Really, you know, romaine ought not to be served in a bowl
at all, but in a square, flat dish, so that one could keep the ends quite dry.)
And when they quarrelled, she found the old scamp had fooled her—the
shares had never been transferred. (One is not supposed to use a fork at all,
you know.) But she sued him, and he settled with her for about half the value.
(If this dressing were done properly, there ought not to be any oil in the
bottom of the dish at all.)”</p>
<p>This last remark meant that the process had reached its climax—that the
long, crisp leaves were receiving their final affectionate overturnings. While
the waiter stood at respectful attention, two or three pieces at a time were
laid carefully upon the little silver plate intended for Montague. “And
now,” said the triumphant host, “try it! If it’s good, it
ought to be neither sweet nor bitter, but just right.”—And he
watched anxiously while Montague tasted it, saying, “If it’s the
least bit bitter, say so; and we’ll send it out. I’ve told them
about it often enough before.”</p>
<p>But it was not bitter, and so the Major proceeded to help himself, after which
the waiter whisked the bowl away. “I’m told that salad is the one
vegetable we have from the Romans,” said the old boy, as he munched at
the crisp green leaves. “It’s mentioned by Horace, you
know.—As I was saying, all this was in Symmes’s early days. But
since his son’s been grown up, he’s married another
chorus-girl.”</p>
<p>After the salad the Major had another cocktail. In the beginning Montague had
noticed that his hands shook and his eyes were watery; but now, after these
copious libations, he was vigorous, and, if possible, more full of anecdotes
than ever. Montague thought that it would be a good time to broach his inquiry,
and so when the coffee had been served, he asked, “Have you any
objections to talking business after dinner?”</p>
<p>“Not with you,” said the Major. “Why? What is it?”</p>
<p>And then Montague told him about his friend’s proposition, and described
the invention. The other listened attentively to the end; and then, after a
pause, Montague asked him, “What do you think of it?”</p>
<p>“The invention’s no good,” said the Major, promptly.</p>
<p>“How do you know?” asked the other.</p>
<p>“Because, if it had been, the companies would have taken it long ago,
without paying him a cent.”</p>
<p>“But he has it patented,” said Montague.</p>
<p>“Patented hell!” replied the other. “What’s a patent to
lawyers of concerns of that size? They’d have taken it and had it in use
from Maine to Texas; and when he sued, they’d have tied the case up in so
many technicalities and quibbles that he couldn’t have got to the end of
it in ten years—and he’d have been ruined ten times over in the
process.”</p>
<p>“Is that really done?” asked Montague.</p>
<p>“Done!” exclaimed the Major. “It’s done so often you
might say it’s the only thing that’s done.—The people are
probably trying to take you in with a fake.”</p>
<p>“That couldn’t possibly be so,” responded the other.
“The man is a friend—”</p>
<p>“I’ve found it an excellent rule never to do business with
friends,” said the Major, grimly.</p>
<p>“But listen,” said Montague; and he argued long enough to convince
his companion that that could not be the true explanation. Then the Major sat
for a minute or two and pondered; and suddenly he exclaimed, “I have it!
I see why they won’t touch it!”</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>“It’s the coal companies! They’re giving the steamships short
weight, and they don’t want the coal weighed truly!”</p>
<p>“But there’s no sense in that,” said Montague.
“It’s the steamship companies that won’t take the
machine.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said the Major; “naturally, their officers are sharing
the graft.” And he laughed heartily at Montague’s look of
perplexity.</p>
<p>“Do you know anything about the business?” Montague asked.</p>
<p>“Nothing whatever,” said the Major. “I am like the German who
shut himself up in his inner consciousness and deduced the shape of an elephant
from first principles. I know the game of big business from A to Z, and
I’m telling you that if the invention is good and the companies
won’t take it, that’s the reason; and I’ll lay you a wager
that if you were to make an investigation, some such thing as that is what
you’d find! Last winter I went South on a steamer, and when we got near
port, I saw them dumping a ton or two of good food overboard; and I made
inquiries, and learned that one of the officials of the company ran a farm, and
furnished the stuff—and the orders were to get rid of so much every
trip!”</p>
<p>Montague’s jaw had fallen. “What could Major Thorne do against such
a combination?” he asked.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” said the Major, shrugging his shoulders.
“It’s a case to take to a lawyer—one who knows the ropes.
Hawkins over there would know what to tell you. I should imagine the thing
he’d advise would be to call a strike of the men who handle the coal, and
tie up the companies and bring them to terms.”</p>
<p>“You’re joking now!” exclaimed the other.</p>
<p>“Not at all,” said the Major, laughing again. “It’s
done all the time. There’s a building trust in this city, and the way it
put all its rivals out of business was by having strikes called on their
jobs.”</p>
<p>“But how could it do that?”</p>
<p>“Easiest thing in the world. A labour leader is a man with a great deal
of power, and a very small salary to live on. And even if he won’t sell
out—there are other ways. I could introduce you to a man right in this
room who had a big strike on at an inconvenient time, and he had the president
of the union trapped in a hotel with a woman, and the poor fellow gave in and
called off the strike.”</p>
<p>“I should think the strikers might sometimes get out of hand,” said
Montague.</p>
<p>“Sometimes they do,” smiled the other. “There is a regular
procedure for that case. Then you hire detectives and start violence, and call
out the militia and put the strike leaders into jail.”</p>
<p>Montague could think of nothing to say to that. The programme seemed to be
complete.</p>
<p>“You see,” the Major continued, earnestly, “I’m
advising you as a friend, and I’m taking the point of view of a man who
has money in his pocket. I’ve had some there always, but I’ve had
to work hard to keep it there. All my life I’ve been surrounded by people
who wanted to do me good; and the way they wanted to do it was to exchange my
real money for pieces of paper which they’d had printed with fancy
scroll-work and eagles and flags. Of course, if you want to look at the thing
from the other side, why, then the invention is most ingenious, and trade is
booming just now, and this is a great country, and merit is all you need in
it—and everything else is just as it ought to be. It makes all the
difference in the world, you know, whether a man is buying a horse or selling
him!”</p>
<p>Montague had observed with perplexity that such incendiary talk as this was one
of the characteristics of people in these lofty altitudes. It was one of the
liberties accorded to their station. Editors and bishops and statesmen and all
the rest of their retainers had to believe in the respectabilities, even in the
privacy of their clubs—the people’s ears were getting terribly
sharp these days! But among the real giants of business you might have thought
yourself in a society of revolutionists; they would tear up the mountain tops
and hurl them at each other. When one of these old war-horses once got started,
he would tell tales of deviltry to appall the soul of the hardiest muck-rake
man. It was always the other fellow, of course; but then, if you pinned your
man down, and if he thought that he could trust you—he would acknowledge
that he had sometimes fought the enemy with the enemy’s own weapons!</p>
<p>But of course one must understand that all this radicalism was for
conversational purposes only. The Major, for instance, never had the slightest
idea of doing anything about all the evils of which he told; when it came to
action, he proposed to do just what he had done all his life—to sit tight
on his own little pile. And the Millionaires’ was an excellent place to
learn to do it!</p>
<p>“See that old money-bags over there in the corner,” said the Major.
“He’s a man you want to fix in your mind—old Henry S. Grimes.
Have you heard of him?”</p>
<p>“Vaguely,” said the other.</p>
<p>“He’s Laura Hegan’s uncle. She’ll have his money also
some day—but Lord, how he does hold on to it meantime! It’s quite
tragic, if you come to know him—he’s frightened at his own shadow.
He goes in for slum tenements, and I guess he evicts more people in a month
than you could crowd into this building!”</p>
<p>Montague looked at the solitary figure at the table, a man with a wizened-up
little face like a weasel’s, and a big napkin tied around his neck.
“That’s so as to save his shirt-front for to-morrow,” the
Major explained. “He’s really only about sixty, but you’d
think he was eighty. Three times every day he sits here and eats a bowl of
graham crackers and milk, and then goes out and sits rigid in an arm-chair for
an hour. That’s the regimen his doctors have put him on—angels and
ministers of grace defend us!”</p>
<p>The old gentleman paused, and a chuckle shook his scarlet jowls. “Only
think!” he said—“they tried to do that to me! But no,
sir—when Bob Venable has to eat graham crackers and milk, he’ll put
in arsenic instead of sugar! That’s the way with many a one of these rich
fellows, though—you picture him living in Capuan luxury, when, as a
matter of fact, he’s a man with a torpid liver and a weak stomach, who is
put to bed at ten o’clock with a hot-water bag and a flannel
night-cap!”</p>
<p>The two had got up and were strolling toward the smoking-room; when suddenly at
one side a door opened, and a group of men came out. At the head of them was an
extraordinary figure, a big powerful body with a grim face.
“Hello!” said the Major. “All the big bugs are here to-night.
There must be a governors’ meeting.”</p>
<p>“Who is that?” asked his companion; and he answered, “That?
Why, that’s Dan Waterman.”</p>
<p>Dan Waterman! Montague stared harder than ever, and now he identified the face
with the pictures he had seen. Waterman, the Colossus of finance, the Croesus
of copper and gold! How many trusts had Waterman organized! And how many puns
had been made upon that name of his!</p>
<p>“Who are the other men?” Montague asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, they’re just little millionaires,” was the reply.</p>
<p>The “little millionaires” were following as a kind of body-guard;
one of them, who was short and pudgy, was half running, to keep up with
Waterman’s heavy stride. When they came to the coat-room, they crowded
the attendants away, and one helped the great man on with his coat, and another
held his hat, and another his stick, and two others tried to talk to him. And
Waterman stolidly buttoned his coat, and then seized his hat and stick, and
without a word to anyone, bolted through the door.</p>
<p>It was one of the funniest sights that Montague had ever seen in his life, and
he laughed all the way into the smoking-room. And, when Major Venable had
settled himself in a big chair and bitten off the end of a cigar and lighted
it, what floodgates of reminiscence were opened!</p>
<p>For Dan Waterman was one of the Major’s own generation, and he knew all
his life and his habits. Just as Montague had seen him there, so he had been
always; swift, imperious, terrible, trampling over all opposition; the most
powerful men in the city quailed before the glare of his eyes. In the old days
Wall Street had reeled in the shock of the conflicts between him and his most
powerful rival.</p>
<p>And the Major went on to tell about Waterman’s rival, and his life. He
had been the city’s traction-king, old Wyman had been made by him. He was
the prince among political financiers; he had ruled the Democratic party in
state and nation. He would give a quarter of a million at a time to the boss of
Tammany Hall, and spend a million in a single campaign; on
“dough-day,” when the district leaders came to get the election
funds, there would be a table forty feet long completely covered with
hundred-dollar bills. He would have been the richest man in America, save that
he spent his money as fast as he got it. He had had the most famous
racing-stable in America; and a house on Fifth Avenue that was said to be the
finest Italian palace in the world. Over three millions had been spent in
decorating it; all the ceilings had been brought intact from palaces abroad,
which he had bought and demolished! The Major told a story to show how such a
man lost all sense of the value of money; he had once been sitting at lunch
with him, when the editor of one of his newspapers had come in and remarked,
“I told you we would need eight thousand dollars, and the check you send
is for ten.” “I know it,” was the smiling
answer—“but somehow I thought eight seemed harder to write than
ten!”</p>
<p>“Old Waterman’s quite a spender, too, when it comes to that,”
the Major went on. “He told me once that it cost him five thousand
dollars a day for his ordinary expenses. And that doesn’t include a
million-dollar yacht, nor even the expenses of it.</p>
<p>“And think of another man I know of who spent a million dollars for a
granite pier, so that he could land and see his mistress!—It’s a
fact, as sure as God made me! She was a well-known society woman, but she was
poor, and he didn’t dare to make her rich for fear of the scandal. So she
had to live in a miserable fifty-thousand-dollar villa; and when other
people’s children would sneer at her children because they lived in a
fifty-thousand-dollar villa, the answer would be, ‘But you haven’t
got any pier!’ And if you don’t believe that—”</p>
<p>But here suddenly the Major turned, and observed a boy who had brought him some
cigars, and who was now standing near by, pretending to straighten out some
newspapers upon the table. “Here, sir!” cried the Major,
“what do you mean—listening to what I’m saying! Out of the
room with you now, you rascal!”</p>
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